Saturday, January 06, 2007

Once Again, The Very Blog Your Eyes Behold At This Moment Has Changed The Course Of History

First, it was tricking millions of Republicans into staying home on election day. Now, thanks to the Drugmonkey, many thousands of overweight, diabetic psychotics may get some measure of justice from Eli Lilly, the company that knew it was making people fat and insulin resistant, but chose to try and hide the lard it was creating from your doctor. Less than a month after I told you about Eli Lilly's skulduggery, I am happy to share with you this bit of news, as reported by The New York Times:

Eli Lilly agreed yesterday to pay up to $500 million to settle 18,000 lawsuits from people who claimed they had developed diabetes or other diseases after taking Zyprexa, Lilly’s drug for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

Including earlier settlements over Zyprexa, Lilly has now agreed to pay at least $1.2 billion to 28,500 people who said they were injured by the drug.


In a press release announcing the settlement, Sidney Taurel, Chairman of The Board and CEO of Lilly said:

"The payment by Eli Lilly and Company of a cumulative amount equal to 63% of our profit in fiscal year 2005 is in no way to be perceived as an admission of wrongdoing. We just had some extra cash laying around and figured, what the hell, why not start writing checks to people whom we have not harmed in any way? It's kind of a good feeling really, kind of like that old TV show, Lottery! We like it so much that at the next board meeting, we're going to take up the topic of becoming a non-profit corporation"*

As for me, I am still sorting through my thoughts at having successfully taken on a muti-billion dollar corporation and emerging with such a complete and stunning victory. While I am pleased at this turn of events, and surprised at how quickly I was able to bring a measure of fairness to those who were wronged, I must say that I have learned a valuable lesson about the power I wield behind this keyboard. While I have used this power only for good to this point, I realize tonight I must be ever vigilant never to do something irresponsible, like mentioning how much I hate Lloyd Duplantis, and telling the world he lives in Gray, Louisiana.

You have my solemn pledge dear readers. The Drugmonkey will do no evil.

(*These words were actually said in my imagination, but the profit percentage is from the reality based world)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for bringing such nice posts. Your blog is always fascinating to read.