It's probably hitting you right about now. You were sent out into the world five or six months ago and it's finally starting to sink in.
This isn't what you signed up for.
You can still remember the shiny, happy world of the Pharmacy Practice lab back in college. A world of no lines, no insurance, and all the time your patients needed to learn about their meds.
Patients willing to listen politely is also probably fading fast in the horizon of your memory.
I wonder if you've had the first sacrifice yet. The first patient you threw under the bus. You wanted to stop things and ask a question, talk with that nurse practitioner about whether they really wanted to prescribe Doryx for an acute respiratory infection when the patient has taken regular doxycycline several times.
But......the clinic's closed, and the patient sent in their 16 year old daughter to pick up his med and she has a cellphone glued to her ear and there are five people behind her, a couple of them being pretty damn impatient and rude and that clock on your computer is ticking and your metrics report will be sent to the corporate office in the morning.....
....and there aren't any clinical implications to choosing Doryx anyway.....so.....
And that's one of the tamer scenarios you've faced, and you and I both know it. Some of you have gone home crying after twelve hours of this. Some of you have become good friends with Mr. Alcohol because it helps to numb up and forget. For a few hours you can forget. In the morning there's a few minutes where it feels like everything is starting fresh. Those few minutes every day start to feel like gold.
Then you remember the messes left over from last night that will be waiting for you. And the new messes soon to be created. You......did not sign up for this. For six years you saw nothing but smiling faces in crisp new lab coats being bold and authoritative and respected when it came to matters pharmaceutical.
What you see now is that someone shat on the store's bathroom floor when you open the door after managing to hold in your urine for most of the morning.
Your student loan balance is also over six figures.
I can't make it all better. You're in for a long, hard, career of abuse and I can't change that. I can tell you this though. Through all the chaos and the bullshit, despite all the corporate stupidity and ungrateful turds that will be cast into your life, against all odds, there will be times when you help someone. I promise you it will happen. There will be times when you make a difference in someone's life. There will be times when you save someone's life. Honest.
You'll have to fight for them, and you will tend not to remember them at the end of the day. It's the assholes and the times you slipped up that will stick in your mind. Like flypaper my friend. The times when you couldn't live up to your own expectations will become welded onto your brain.
Rest assured though, you'll never get any credit for the times you actually helped a person. There are no bonuses for stopping a dippy doctor from injuring someone. No measurement for the number of times you nudged someone in the throes of addiction towards help instead of Vicodin. Nope. When you see the look of gratitude on an occasional person's face, or hear a few words of appreciation from a loved one, you'll know that you screwed up your metrics and there will be hell to pay with your district manager.
Here's all I got for you. Try like hell to remember the times you pulled it off. When you stopped some prescribing stupidity or calmed down someone with the fear of the newly diagnosed. You're gonna have to make an effort to remember because no one else is ever gonna remind you. And some night when it feels like the inside of your head is about to collapse, you go find that memory and hang onto it tight until the inside of your head is better.
It'll help if you develop the ability to hang up your work problems with your lab coat at night, but that usually takes a few years.
You should also develop a dark sense of gallows humor. It can be a nice numbing agent.
That's all I have. Good luck.
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
My Nomination For Least Significant Study Ever.
WOONSOCKET, RI- In research that covers ground long ago broken, drugstore operator CVS Caremark announced today that higher prescription prices result in fewer people buying prescriptions.
"A new survey of retail pharmacists revealed that cost remains a key barrier to medication adherence" says the opening line of a news story that I swear to God I am not making up.
The company commissioned IntelliQHealth to do an online survey of its retail pharmacists, which many experts say is a sign of the company's willingness to let the facts take them wherever the truth is to be found. Almost every Nobel prize in economics has been won by doing online surveys of your own employees.
More than 2,400 CVS retail pharmacists responded to the online survey, which is noteworthy not only for the earth shattering conclusion that people don't like to spend their hard-earned money, but also because it is believed to be the first time in the history of the company it has ever listened to the pharmacists it employs.
"They shouldn't get used to it" Larry Merlo, president and CEO of CVS said in an imaginary interview. "Our plan is to become known as a company that is willing to spend its time and resources to acquire a firm grasp of the obvious, which is far preferable to our current reputation as a company constantly under investigation."
Sure enough, at press time The U.S. Justice Department's civil fraud division has announced an investigation into whether instances of the company automatically enrolling customers into its readyfill refill program without their consent constitutes Medicare fraud.
"As cost continues to be a barrier to medication adherence, we need to find ways to help educate patients about their options," said Troyen A. Brennan, MD, executive vice president and chief medical officer of CVS Caremark, a company that would charge $49.59 for thirty paroxetine 20 mg tablets, a prescription that would cost $4 at a Target store.
Exactly what type of education would be required to convince a customer to plunk down $46 for the privilege of going to a friggin' CVS remains to be determined, but "we are determined to find out" Brennan didn't say. "because the alternative would be to lower our prices to the point where we are competitive with other pharmacies, which let's be honest here, is never going to happen."
"Money money money money money!!!!" concluded Brennan, before walking off mumbling something about whether round shopping cart wheels result in more purchases than square ones.
"A new survey of retail pharmacists revealed that cost remains a key barrier to medication adherence" says the opening line of a news story that I swear to God I am not making up.
The company commissioned IntelliQHealth to do an online survey of its retail pharmacists, which many experts say is a sign of the company's willingness to let the facts take them wherever the truth is to be found. Almost every Nobel prize in economics has been won by doing online surveys of your own employees.
More than 2,400 CVS retail pharmacists responded to the online survey, which is noteworthy not only for the earth shattering conclusion that people don't like to spend their hard-earned money, but also because it is believed to be the first time in the history of the company it has ever listened to the pharmacists it employs.
"They shouldn't get used to it" Larry Merlo, president and CEO of CVS said in an imaginary interview. "Our plan is to become known as a company that is willing to spend its time and resources to acquire a firm grasp of the obvious, which is far preferable to our current reputation as a company constantly under investigation."
Sure enough, at press time The U.S. Justice Department's civil fraud division has announced an investigation into whether instances of the company automatically enrolling customers into its readyfill refill program without their consent constitutes Medicare fraud.
"As cost continues to be a barrier to medication adherence, we need to find ways to help educate patients about their options," said Troyen A. Brennan, MD, executive vice president and chief medical officer of CVS Caremark, a company that would charge $49.59 for thirty paroxetine 20 mg tablets, a prescription that would cost $4 at a Target store.
Exactly what type of education would be required to convince a customer to plunk down $46 for the privilege of going to a friggin' CVS remains to be determined, but "we are determined to find out" Brennan didn't say. "because the alternative would be to lower our prices to the point where we are competitive with other pharmacies, which let's be honest here, is never going to happen."
"Money money money money money!!!!" concluded Brennan, before walking off mumbling something about whether round shopping cart wheels result in more purchases than square ones.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
My Blog Saves The Country.
My friends I feel a sense of relief this night. The weight of years of frustration, of worry, of concern for the well being of our great nation has been lifted from my shoulders.
I have succeeded. The most that one man can. The burden of closing the horse gap must now be passed on, for I am weary.
My struggle started almost a decade ago, when I picked up a book at the local Borders by a Saturday Night Live comedian and then political gadfly. In it I read that modern warfare has advanced to the point that "a special forces solider, sitting on horseback" could spot a target, send the information back to commanders, and have an airstrike executed all in the matter of 19 minutes, a process that took three days during the first Gulf War.
There was one problem however, and only Al Franken seemed to notice, this is from his 2003 book, "Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell them"
You cannot call in airstrikes from horseback if there are no horses. This country faced a crisis, and no one seemed to care. No one, that is, except me and Al.
We sprung into action. Al filed papers to run for the US Senate, and I started a relentless campaign to get him there. Regular readers of my humble blog garden will remember my two major journalistic bombshells:
- The revelation that Franken's opponent, Norm Coleman, had never denied being a member of Al-Qaeda, an organization that undoubtedly would want to keep the number of horses in the United States military at a minimum.
- The uncovering of Coleman's choice to associate himself with an organization known to have protected child molesters.
Considering Franken won the election by only 225 votes, I think the importance of my work exposing his opponent's links to terrorism and pedophiles is obvious. Had it not been for my tireless efforts the chances of the horse gap being addressed would be close to zero.
Still, Al is but one of a hundred Senators, the Senate but one-half of the Congress, and Congress only one of three branches of the federal government. The struggle continued. The fight went on. But tonight my friends, at last, the breakthrough we've all been waiting for. From the third and final presidential debate:
Horse gap awareness has at last reached the highest levels on the land. My work is done here. I may finally rest.
Unless you guys wanna keep reading about evil shit CVS does. Then I guess I could keep going.
I have succeeded. The most that one man can. The burden of closing the horse gap must now be passed on, for I am weary.
My struggle started almost a decade ago, when I picked up a book at the local Borders by a Saturday Night Live comedian and then political gadfly. In it I read that modern warfare has advanced to the point that "a special forces solider, sitting on horseback" could spot a target, send the information back to commanders, and have an airstrike executed all in the matter of 19 minutes, a process that took three days during the first Gulf War.
There was one problem however, and only Al Franken seemed to notice, this is from his 2003 book, "Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell them"
You cannot call in airstrikes from horseback if there are no horses. This country faced a crisis, and no one seemed to care. No one, that is, except me and Al.
We sprung into action. Al filed papers to run for the US Senate, and I started a relentless campaign to get him there. Regular readers of my humble blog garden will remember my two major journalistic bombshells:
- The revelation that Franken's opponent, Norm Coleman, had never denied being a member of Al-Qaeda, an organization that undoubtedly would want to keep the number of horses in the United States military at a minimum.
- The uncovering of Coleman's choice to associate himself with an organization known to have protected child molesters.
Considering Franken won the election by only 225 votes, I think the importance of my work exposing his opponent's links to terrorism and pedophiles is obvious. Had it not been for my tireless efforts the chances of the horse gap being addressed would be close to zero.
Still, Al is but one of a hundred Senators, the Senate but one-half of the Congress, and Congress only one of three branches of the federal government. The struggle continued. The fight went on. But tonight my friends, at last, the breakthrough we've all been waiting for. From the third and final presidential debate:
Horse gap awareness has at last reached the highest levels on the land. My work is done here. I may finally rest.
Unless you guys wanna keep reading about evil shit CVS does. Then I guess I could keep going.
Monday, October 22, 2012
In The Spirit Of Friendship And Cooperation, I Continue To Help A CVS Executive With A Vexing Problem.
OK......I swear I am not trying to turn my little blog garden into a CVS attack vehicle. I am sure that the other "BIG 2" do plenty of dastardly deeds worthy of mockery and exposure. As a matter of fact, I know personally that one of them does. But, the CVS material keeps popping up in my mailbox. Like I've said before, CVS' employees really.....really....seem to hate their company.
Some of my regular readers may remember Ron Snow, Manager of Professional & College Relations at CVS Caremark. I wrote awhile back how Ron had a problem that he just couldn't seem to get a handle on. It bothered his brain enough that he wrote an article in the Indiana Pharmacist’s Alliance quarterly magazine looking for an answer. Ron you see, just couldn't understand why today's smart young men and women seemed a little less than enthused with a career with his type of company:
Ron, the day The Drugmonkey came across your words was a very lucky one for you indeed, because there is indeed an easy answer. Take a look:
That's an actual, real email from someone in your own company Ron. His name is Ryan Barna, a CVS District Manager from New Jersey. Maybe you've met him. If not you can certainly write to him. That's his real email address up there. Ryan sounds like the type of guy who likes to get emails. Maybe you could talk about his part in the looming federal investigation of CVS' apparent habit of enrolling customers in an automatic prescription program without their permission.
Ryan Barna seems to be awful upset that only 59.2% of customers that responded to a company survey said someone used their name. He sounds like he's blue in the face and maybe his head's gonna explode. Kinda seems like he's totally ready to fire people for not using people's names.
Almost like to him that is the most important thing in the world.
Back to what you wrote Ron:
Ron, imagine you are a college student, and a pretty damn good one. Pharmacy school isn't easy to get into, you know that, and it's even harder to get out of. Years and years of fighting to fill your brain with pharmacology, biochemistry, microbiology, kinetics.....the Krebs cycle. The Krebs cycle can still give me nightmares to this day.
You remember what it's like, don't you Ron? That sense of accomplishment when you finally walk across that stage to get your degree, the gradual seeping in that you really are a drug expert, the first time you knew something a doctor didn't!! And now you can take a position where you're gonna put that knowledge to work in a clinical hospital setting making a real difference in patients health outcomes.....
OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO GET THREATENING EMAILS AT WORK FROM SOME NEANDERTHAL WHO SAYS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON IS USING A NAME!!!!! NOW!!!!! DO IT DO IT SO IT DO IT OR I'LL FIRE YOU!! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!
Ron.....really....the answer is pretty easy now isn't it?
I'm glad I could help.
Once again, that address is RBarna@cvs.com
Some of my regular readers may remember Ron Snow, Manager of Professional & College Relations at CVS Caremark. I wrote awhile back how Ron had a problem that he just couldn't seem to get a handle on. It bothered his brain enough that he wrote an article in the Indiana Pharmacist’s Alliance quarterly magazine looking for an answer. Ron you see, just couldn't understand why today's smart young men and women seemed a little less than enthused with a career with his type of company:
I am not sure when the change started, but over the past few years I have noticed an inferiority complex growing among community pharmacists. For many years the proud neighborhood pharmacist was known as the most trusted professional, but now he/she has turned into someone with self-image issues. Why has this change taken place? The way I see it, this is a complicated issue with no easy answer.
Ron, the day The Drugmonkey came across your words was a very lucky one for you indeed, because there is indeed an easy answer. Take a look:
Subject: Pharmacy Service real time update *URGENT*
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2011 10:20:12 -0400
From: RBarna@cvs.com
To: ;
Team 4,
· We are self destructing this week on rx service!!!! 84.7; two days left let’s pick it up TODAY!!
· 59.2 on addressed by name, 63.6 on wait time- Are we serious??? Do you think I will accept results like this?
· Wake up and start delivering excellent service results NOW!!! You’ve worked too hard this month to throw it all away
· If you’re not able or willing to lead your team to deliver excellent service to each patient each time please let me know so we can discuss your exit strategy- one thing I won’t accept are poor service results &; neither should you
That's an actual, real email from someone in your own company Ron. His name is Ryan Barna, a CVS District Manager from New Jersey. Maybe you've met him. If not you can certainly write to him. That's his real email address up there. Ryan sounds like the type of guy who likes to get emails. Maybe you could talk about his part in the looming federal investigation of CVS' apparent habit of enrolling customers in an automatic prescription program without their permission.
Ryan Barna seems to be awful upset that only 59.2% of customers that responded to a company survey said someone used their name. He sounds like he's blue in the face and maybe his head's gonna explode. Kinda seems like he's totally ready to fire people for not using people's names.
Almost like to him that is the most important thing in the world.
Back to what you wrote Ron:
What prompted me to think about this image problem was a recent conversation I overheard between a couple of new grads that was centered on their career choices. The first grad talked excitedly about his choice of starting a career with a hospital where he was confident that he would eventually get the opportunity to move into a “clinical” position in the not too distant future. The second grad sheepishly commented that he was “just going to work for so-and-so pharmacy” because he did not want to give up his 3 years of service with the company. I did not hear any passion of excitement in his voice about his future career plan.
Ron, imagine you are a college student, and a pretty damn good one. Pharmacy school isn't easy to get into, you know that, and it's even harder to get out of. Years and years of fighting to fill your brain with pharmacology, biochemistry, microbiology, kinetics.....the Krebs cycle. The Krebs cycle can still give me nightmares to this day.
You remember what it's like, don't you Ron? That sense of accomplishment when you finally walk across that stage to get your degree, the gradual seeping in that you really are a drug expert, the first time you knew something a doctor didn't!! And now you can take a position where you're gonna put that knowledge to work in a clinical hospital setting making a real difference in patients health outcomes.....
OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO GET THREATENING EMAILS AT WORK FROM SOME NEANDERTHAL WHO SAYS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON IS USING A NAME!!!!! NOW!!!!! DO IT DO IT SO IT DO IT OR I'LL FIRE YOU!! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!
Ron.....really....the answer is pretty easy now isn't it?
I'm glad I could help.
Once again, that address is RBarna@cvs.com
Saturday, October 20, 2012
To All My Old Friends At Rite Aid. As Ben Folds Five Once Said, "If You Really Wanna See Me Check The Papers And The TV"
Or in this case, check the cover of the magazine that just got mailed out to every one of your stores across the country. Make sure to take a look at the byline on that cover story. http://ow.ly/eA0k4
Thursday, October 11, 2012
I Will Warn You. This Post Contains The Words "Used Enemas" And "Reshelved By CVS Workers"
So....why don't we just get right to the down and dirty. Via thesmokinggun.com and brought to my attention by an alert reader:
Notice the dateline. October 11th. Today.
I will draw your attention to the words "bought" and "between April and June"
They....had to be notified? I give someone the Watson Somas instead of Qualitest and I'll hear about it in under five minutes, but....someone gets shit on a stick...and just sits passively around until someone calls?
Just to remove any doubt:
"Well gosh....I seem to have lost the receipt. I guess I'm just out of luck."
Or would that be "shit out of luck"....bwwwaaaahhhaahhhaaa....
But let's get back to the words "between April and June," because the indictment included with that web story clearly states that the suspect was arrested for buying and returning enemas on June 5th. The inducement also states that this was the fourth time he had done this, which aroused the suspicions of the ever alert CVS staff.
He got away with it three times. At least. I'm going to go try and wash out my eyeballs now.
OCTOBER 11--A Florida man has been indicted on a federal product tampering charge for allegedly returning used enemas to the shelves of the CVS pharmacy where he purchased the items.
Ronald Eugene Robinson is accused in an indictment unsealed today in U.S. District Court in Jacksonville.
Notice the dateline. October 11th. Today.
According to prosecutors, Robinson bought several “pre-packaged CVS Pharmacy Ready-to-Use enemas” between April and June of this year. After using the enemas, he placed them back into their boxes, resealed the containers, and returned the products for refunds.
I will draw your attention to the words "bought" and "between April and June"
The used enemas, reshelved by CVS workers, were subsequently sold to unsuspecting customers...“It is believed that all customers have been notified of the tainted purchases,” Department of Justice prosecutors said in a press release issued today.
They....had to be notified? I give someone the Watson Somas instead of Qualitest and I'll hear about it in under five minutes, but....someone gets shit on a stick...and just sits passively around until someone calls?
Just to remove any doubt:
An analysis of the used products revealed that, “fecal matter was located on some of the returned enema bottles
"Well gosh....I seem to have lost the receipt. I guess I'm just out of luck."
Or would that be "shit out of luck"....bwwwaaaahhhaahhhaaa....
But let's get back to the words "between April and June," because the indictment included with that web story clearly states that the suspect was arrested for buying and returning enemas on June 5th. The inducement also states that this was the fourth time he had done this, which aroused the suspicions of the ever alert CVS staff.
He got away with it three times. At least. I'm going to go try and wash out my eyeballs now.
Sunday, October 07, 2012
In This Season Of Debates, I Present Pharmacy Showdown Number Two. It's CVS Vs. CVS.
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the second in our series of pharmacy debates. You may remember last time we were here and discussed the impact of drugstore chain/pharmacy benefits manager CVS Caremark upon the profession. Tonight, we'll go from the general to the specific as we address the topic "Does CVS enroll people in their 'readyfill' automatic prescription service without the patients consent?" We have two guests tonight, first off, CVS spokesman Mr. Mike DeAngelis.
"Rot in hell Drugmonkey. If you think a few weeks of unemployment are tough, you just wait until we're done with you"
Ha ha....he's quite a kidder that DeAngelis. Next up we have CVS Supervisor Ryan Barna. Mr. Barna oversees about 50 CVS stores in the New Jersey area.
"He's not kidding Drugmonkey, we're going to bury you"
Very well then, but first things first. Mr. DeAngelis, recent stories in the Los Angeles Times paint a picture of CVS customers systematically being enrolled in your automatic refill service without their consent. These are serious allegations, as this could, under some interpretations, be considered insurance fraud, as claims are being filed for medicines a patient never asked for. Both the New Jersey Department of Consumer Affairs and The California Board of Pharmacy have expressed concerns, and the LA Times articles imply that this might be happening as a result of pharmacists being pressured to meet a quota of program enrollment. We've flipped a coin backstage, and as a result you get to make the opening statement.
(Note, every statement below attributed to DeAngelis and Barna come straight from the Times articles. Except for the final statement, which really happened in my imagination.)
"It is not our policy to refill prescriptions without a patient's authorization"
Very well then. Mr. Barna, do you have a rebuttal?
"You need to go out and make this happen this week and every week going forward"
I see. You were, of course talking about a specific number, 30% of phone calls to patients that were expected to result in repeat business. It would seem that we have a clear distinction between the positions of the two of you then. Mr. Barna, if I could ask a followup question. What would happen if pharmacists did not meet this quota?
"Major personnel changes. Please understand this is not the road I wanted to go down, but action plans/phone calls/advice haven't yielded the result we're all looking for & it's time for a change in leadership in certain stores."
OK, but our topic is whether CVS ever filled prescriptions without a patient's authorization. Mr. Barna, if pharmacists called patients and could not reach them, what did you instruct them to do and say regarding those patient's prescriptions?
"We tried calling you several times this week on this past-due prescription" and that "I went ahead and filled it so it would be ready for you."
Mr. Deangelis, this seems pretty clear. Do you have a rebuttal?
Mr. Barna, you called the procedure you outlined to the pharmacists you supervised...what was the term? CVS.....
"best practices."
Yes, best practices. And I will point out here that the Times articles point out incidents of unauthorized prescriptions being filled in both New Jersey and California. Mr. DeAngelis, is it possible for one overzealous manager in New Jersey to affect your operations in stores located on the other side of the country?
"It is not our policy to refill prescriptions without a patient's authorization,"
Yes....I seem to remember hearing that somewhere before. And with that ladies and gentlemen we've reached the end of tonight's debate. Mr. Barna, since Mr. DeAngelis got to make the opening statement, we'll give you the final word.
"Thank you. As spirited, and at times heated, as tonight's debate was, I'd like to point out that my opponent and I actually have a great deal we agree on. We are both working for a strong and profitable CVS, and share a desire to make the company the best it can be. More importantly though, we share a bigger goal. Your immediate and total destruction Drugmonkey. Mr DeAngelis and I could not hate you more, and wish nothing but for you to be erased from this very planet, preferably in a painful way. Short of that, we would like to make it possible that both you and the LA Times shut the fuck up."
And on that note of agreement, we close this night's debate. Tune in next time, when our topic will be "A share or Rite Aid stock or a Diet Coke, which is the better value for your dollar and a half?" Until then, have a wonderful evening.
(Special thanks to the multiple alert readers who tipped me to this story)
"Rot in hell Drugmonkey. If you think a few weeks of unemployment are tough, you just wait until we're done with you"
Ha ha....he's quite a kidder that DeAngelis. Next up we have CVS Supervisor Ryan Barna. Mr. Barna oversees about 50 CVS stores in the New Jersey area.
"He's not kidding Drugmonkey, we're going to bury you"
Very well then, but first things first. Mr. DeAngelis, recent stories in the Los Angeles Times paint a picture of CVS customers systematically being enrolled in your automatic refill service without their consent. These are serious allegations, as this could, under some interpretations, be considered insurance fraud, as claims are being filed for medicines a patient never asked for. Both the New Jersey Department of Consumer Affairs and The California Board of Pharmacy have expressed concerns, and the LA Times articles imply that this might be happening as a result of pharmacists being pressured to meet a quota of program enrollment. We've flipped a coin backstage, and as a result you get to make the opening statement.
(Note, every statement below attributed to DeAngelis and Barna come straight from the Times articles. Except for the final statement, which really happened in my imagination.)
"It is not our policy to refill prescriptions without a patient's authorization"
Very well then. Mr. Barna, do you have a rebuttal?
"You need to go out and make this happen this week and every week going forward"
I see. You were, of course talking about a specific number, 30% of phone calls to patients that were expected to result in repeat business. It would seem that we have a clear distinction between the positions of the two of you then. Mr. Barna, if I could ask a followup question. What would happen if pharmacists did not meet this quota?
"Major personnel changes. Please understand this is not the road I wanted to go down, but action plans/phone calls/advice haven't yielded the result we're all looking for & it's time for a change in leadership in certain stores."
OK, but our topic is whether CVS ever filled prescriptions without a patient's authorization. Mr. Barna, if pharmacists called patients and could not reach them, what did you instruct them to do and say regarding those patient's prescriptions?
"We tried calling you several times this week on this past-due prescription" and that "I went ahead and filled it so it would be ready for you."
Mr. Deangelis, this seems pretty clear. Do you have a rebuttal?
the company says this is an example of an overzealous manager going too far, not a practice followed by CVS pharmacists nationwide.
Mr. Barna, you called the procedure you outlined to the pharmacists you supervised...what was the term? CVS.....
"best practices."
Yes, best practices. And I will point out here that the Times articles point out incidents of unauthorized prescriptions being filled in both New Jersey and California. Mr. DeAngelis, is it possible for one overzealous manager in New Jersey to affect your operations in stores located on the other side of the country?
"It is not our policy to refill prescriptions without a patient's authorization,"
Yes....I seem to remember hearing that somewhere before. And with that ladies and gentlemen we've reached the end of tonight's debate. Mr. Barna, since Mr. DeAngelis got to make the opening statement, we'll give you the final word.
"Thank you. As spirited, and at times heated, as tonight's debate was, I'd like to point out that my opponent and I actually have a great deal we agree on. We are both working for a strong and profitable CVS, and share a desire to make the company the best it can be. More importantly though, we share a bigger goal. Your immediate and total destruction Drugmonkey. Mr DeAngelis and I could not hate you more, and wish nothing but for you to be erased from this very planet, preferably in a painful way. Short of that, we would like to make it possible that both you and the LA Times shut the fuck up."
And on that note of agreement, we close this night's debate. Tune in next time, when our topic will be "A share or Rite Aid stock or a Diet Coke, which is the better value for your dollar and a half?" Until then, have a wonderful evening.
(Special thanks to the multiple alert readers who tipped me to this story)
Friday, October 05, 2012
Today's News, As Brought To You By Me Over A Year And A Half Ago.
From today's paper, which sadly, I will soon start receiving in digital form. I wonder what I'm supposed to start calling it then? "From today's screen?" "From today's data upload?" Sigh. I will miss you, dead trees.
Budeprion releases its ingredient faster? This sounds so......familiar. Of course it was from a long time ago I'm thinking of...let me see if I can remember....
Wow. That was way back in January of 2011. Whoever wrote those words must be some sort of prophet or something. I mean.....
Wait! That was me! I remember now! I'm the prophet!! You should probably praise me and ask me to do miracles now or something.
Actually, that's being kind. According to the prophet, what happened was the FDA extrapolated results from a test of 150mg tablets to the 300mg ones. They tested one thing and assumed the results would apply to something else. As we all know, assumption is the cornerstone of science.
And by the way, even the test of the 150mg tablets didn't go so well.
"Oh prophet" some of you are no doubt saying. "Might you have any other words of wisdom for us poor lost souls who trust that authority figures are wise and just?"
Yes. Never trust anyone who calls himself a prophet. It was actually The People's Pharmacy that broke this back in 2006. Good on them.
Still, I ran the story a year and a half before the paper, which I think earns me a little praise. Is there some level between a human and a prophet? A prophan?
Maybe the paper will be faster when it's the daily data upload. I'm not hopeful.
_______________
PS- By the way, the guy who left this comment on that original post back in 2011?
He can suck it. Totally suck it.
WASHINGTON — Teva Pharmaceuticals has stopped shipping its generic version of a popular antidepressant after a federal analysis showed the pill does not work properly.
The Food and Drug Administration on Wednesday said it asked Teva to withdraw Budeprion XL 300 after new testing showed the drug releases its key ingredient faster than the original drug Wellbutrin XL 300, made by GlaxoSmithKline.
Budeprion releases its ingredient faster? This sounds so......familiar. Of course it was from a long time ago I'm thinking of...let me see if I can remember....
I will say however, that when I dispense and you take a generic drug, we both expect it to be the same as its brand name equivalent, and that dumping 49% of a 24 hour dose over the course of four hours as opposed to 25% is not the same. It's almost twice as much. Which makes me wonder if maybe there's not a reason at least a few of my customers are so damn psycho .
It's also why I've started ordering Watson's version of Wellbutrin XL.
Wow. That was way back in January of 2011. Whoever wrote those words must be some sort of prophet or something. I mean.....
Wait! That was me! I remember now! I'm the prophet!! You should probably praise me and ask me to do miracles now or something.
The action contradicts the FDA's previous update on the issue in 2008, when regulators said the drugs are essentially the same.
Actually, that's being kind. According to the prophet, what happened was the FDA extrapolated results from a test of 150mg tablets to the 300mg ones. They tested one thing and assumed the results would apply to something else. As we all know, assumption is the cornerstone of science.
And by the way, even the test of the 150mg tablets didn't go so well.
"Oh prophet" some of you are no doubt saying. "Might you have any other words of wisdom for us poor lost souls who trust that authority figures are wise and just?"
Yes. Never trust anyone who calls himself a prophet. It was actually The People's Pharmacy that broke this back in 2006. Good on them.
Still, I ran the story a year and a half before the paper, which I think earns me a little praise. Is there some level between a human and a prophet? A prophan?
Maybe the paper will be faster when it's the daily data upload. I'm not hopeful.
_______________
PS- By the way, the guy who left this comment on that original post back in 2011?
Irrelevant! So much for pharmacists being drug experts.
All y'all need to go back to your pharmacokinetics textbooks and brush up on steady-state.
tsk tsk Drug Monkey.
He can suck it. Totally suck it.
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
The Column Drug Topics Rejected. Probably Wisely.
So, yeah, I don't have the best record of not provoking the wrath of the targets of my writing. And perhaps running my middle finger to Rite Aid in a national magazine wouldn't be the best idea. That's what editors are for, to make decisions like this, and I'm not the least bit upset we had to go to Plan B for this month's column. Maybe if I had an editor for this blog I'd still have a daytime gig.
Still, I think it was some quality wordsmithing, so in the spirit of "they can't fire me twice" I think the column ought to run somewhere. Here goes:
__________________________________________
Evidently I am one bad dude.
That realization came to me one day in early August, when the Fortune 500 Corporation that employed me said I was too scary of an individual to have around. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle this, as I’ve never been frightening before. I’ve prized brainpower over intimidation ever since the day in junior high when I developed a plan to charge my meals at school in order to minimize the amount of cash bullies might ask for.
Now however, I am the intimidator. I’m thinking about getting a tattoo.
This all started when my former employer, Rite Aid, found themselves with a bit of labor trouble in Southern California. The United Food and Commercial Workers union, of which I was also a member, balked at the company’s contract proposal, which among other things they claimed would lead to out of pocket costs for health care benefits of up to $10,000, the effective elimination of health care for workers spouses and children, and the virtual elimination of accumulated sick leave pay.
When I saw this I was a little angry, and I guess that much like the Incredible Hulk, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
The UFCW called for a strike authorization vote, and a strike was authorized. Both sides began to prepare for a fight.
For those of you who don’t know, I’ve written a blog for the past seven years. I’ll warn you before you go looking for it though, it’s rated “R” for language and immaturity. In the wild west spirit of the internet, it is crude, rude, and incredibly opinionated. I’d also like to think it’s pretty darn funny and well written. Think “The Onion” meets “Beavis and Butthead.” It’s written “in character” as The Drugmonkey, and just as when you sit down to watch Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert, there are parts of that blog that are meant to be taken seriously and parts that aren’t, and I’ve always trusted the reader to know which is which.
A trust that never should have been extended to Rite Aid Corporation.
People started writing to me through the blog to say they were being recruited to come to California and work as scabs if a strike went down. One person told me that when they asked if they would have to cross a picket line they were told yes, and that it would be “exciting”
That’s when The Drugmonkey said, in colorful language, that any scabs that come to California ran the risk of having their rear ends kicked. Take a look at that picture at the top of this page. You can see why someone would be frightened.
For those of you not familiar with the magazine, here's the picture that runs at the top of the page. Notice how scary looking I am:
Within days I was told that someone who would write such mean words was someone too scary to have around, that even though I was told by Rite Aid’s media contact that the possibility of replacement workers being used to break a strike was an “unsubstantiated rumor,” a workplace violence policy had been violated. A policy, evidently, meant to protect unsubstantiated rumors from fictional characters. I am no longer employed by Rite Aid.
So this is what it’s come to in 21st century America. Use a contract to add to the misery of those who fall ill, piling on financial burdens to the burden of trying to recover your good health, and that’s perfectly acceptable. A company that purports to be part of our health care system proposing to bankrupt the sick is within the level of violence we will tolerate. But an individual using their own time and their own resources to engage in a little trash talk about the perpetrators of this violence? Well, that person has gone too far. It’s not enough that the corporations that now control community pharmacy micro-manage the way you practice the profession you worked so hard to join. They now feel entitled to every minute of your life, every action of every day, right down to the last stroke of your keyboard.
They can’t have mine. When I see injustice I will talk about it. When I see violence I will work to counter it. I may not know how to throw a punch, but I will not shut up.
My words are sharp. Fear me.
Still, I think it was some quality wordsmithing, so in the spirit of "they can't fire me twice" I think the column ought to run somewhere. Here goes:
__________________________________________
Evidently I am one bad dude.
That realization came to me one day in early August, when the Fortune 500 Corporation that employed me said I was too scary of an individual to have around. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle this, as I’ve never been frightening before. I’ve prized brainpower over intimidation ever since the day in junior high when I developed a plan to charge my meals at school in order to minimize the amount of cash bullies might ask for.
Now however, I am the intimidator. I’m thinking about getting a tattoo.
This all started when my former employer, Rite Aid, found themselves with a bit of labor trouble in Southern California. The United Food and Commercial Workers union, of which I was also a member, balked at the company’s contract proposal, which among other things they claimed would lead to out of pocket costs for health care benefits of up to $10,000, the effective elimination of health care for workers spouses and children, and the virtual elimination of accumulated sick leave pay.
When I saw this I was a little angry, and I guess that much like the Incredible Hulk, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
The UFCW called for a strike authorization vote, and a strike was authorized. Both sides began to prepare for a fight.
For those of you who don’t know, I’ve written a blog for the past seven years. I’ll warn you before you go looking for it though, it’s rated “R” for language and immaturity. In the wild west spirit of the internet, it is crude, rude, and incredibly opinionated. I’d also like to think it’s pretty darn funny and well written. Think “The Onion” meets “Beavis and Butthead.” It’s written “in character” as The Drugmonkey, and just as when you sit down to watch Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert, there are parts of that blog that are meant to be taken seriously and parts that aren’t, and I’ve always trusted the reader to know which is which.
A trust that never should have been extended to Rite Aid Corporation.
People started writing to me through the blog to say they were being recruited to come to California and work as scabs if a strike went down. One person told me that when they asked if they would have to cross a picket line they were told yes, and that it would be “exciting”
That’s when The Drugmonkey said, in colorful language, that any scabs that come to California ran the risk of having their rear ends kicked. Take a look at that picture at the top of this page. You can see why someone would be frightened.
For those of you not familiar with the magazine, here's the picture that runs at the top of the page. Notice how scary looking I am:
So this is what it’s come to in 21st century America. Use a contract to add to the misery of those who fall ill, piling on financial burdens to the burden of trying to recover your good health, and that’s perfectly acceptable. A company that purports to be part of our health care system proposing to bankrupt the sick is within the level of violence we will tolerate. But an individual using their own time and their own resources to engage in a little trash talk about the perpetrators of this violence? Well, that person has gone too far. It’s not enough that the corporations that now control community pharmacy micro-manage the way you practice the profession you worked so hard to join. They now feel entitled to every minute of your life, every action of every day, right down to the last stroke of your keyboard.
They can’t have mine. When I see injustice I will talk about it. When I see violence I will work to counter it. I may not know how to throw a punch, but I will not shut up.
My words are sharp. Fear me.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
From The "Working Tirelessly To Protect The Public, And Getting Results!!" File.
Got this notification in my pile o' email the other day:
Uh-oh. Sounds serious. We can't be having things on our pharmacy shelves when there is a chance that they might not be able to maintain potency.
If only we could ship back wrinkled old men when there's a chance they couldn't maintain their potency, but I digress.
Right away. Sounds like few things could be more important.
Emphasis mine. I got this notification on September 24th.
We all work for Dunder Mifflin my friends.
Forest Pharmaceuticals, Inc. is recalling the following items/lots because product may not maintain potency throughout its labeled shelf life.
Uh-oh. Sounds serious. We can't be having things on our pharmacy shelves when there is a chance that they might not be able to maintain potency.
If only we could ship back wrinkled old men when there's a chance they couldn't maintain their potency, but I digress.
This recall is to the pharmacy level. Affected product started shipping November 2011.
Please immediately check inventory, quarantine, and discontinue distribution of the affected product and contact your wholesaler for directions.
Right away. Sounds like few things could be more important.
LEVOTHROID TAB 50MCG 100: Lots 1093992, 1094095, 1094096. Expiration 9/2012.
LEVOTHROID TAB 75MCG 100: Lot 1094098. Expiration 9/2012
Emphasis mine. I got this notification on September 24th.
We all work for Dunder Mifflin my friends.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Random Thoughts From The 55th Monterey Jazz Festival.
The thing about jazz is that it's so...inefficient. This guy plays, then that guy plays, then a third one plays, it seems like if they'd just play together more often we could save a lot of time and maybe get this festival in on one day.
Ha ha.....kidding of course, but we all know that's exactly the type of thinking that'll happen when the corporations start to control the arts. Which is why my heart did a little happy dance when I saw the Best Buy tent had been replaced by one from Amoeba Music. Amoeba is awesome and if you are in Berkeley or San Francisco or Hollywood you need to stop reading this now and go check them out. I scored a cherry vinyl copy of Miles Davis' "Bitches Brew," the seminal album that essentially invented jazz fusion. Contrast this with last time I was here when the Best Buy tent featured a giant ass display plugging the Beatles and "Guitar Hero." Which is exactly why you'd go to a jazzfest. To play a video game to the tune of "Yellow Submarine." I felt the grooves of Miles in my hands and knew that things were looking up.
That night I saw Tony Bennett, who reiterated a lesson first taught to me by Johnny Cash. Stay authentic to who you are. Cash and Bennett were both about as uncool as a person could get in the 70's, and both faced pressure from their record labels to become more "marketable." Neither did, and both ended their careers as cultural treasures and with their pride intact. For a counterpoint, look at Kenny Rogers. Kenny Rogers is a sad, sad man in many ways.
Anyway, Tony Bennett was really good. That's what I'm trying to say. I hope he made it up to San Francisco and maybe found his heart again.
Earlier in the day it was Trombone Shorty.
Let me tell you one thing about Trombone Shorty. You will like Trombone Shorty. You will not have a choice. Trombone Shorty's music will grab you by the nads and scream at you. "YOU WILL LIKE ME BITCH!!! WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER????"
And then you'll be all like, "Dude, no need to get all abusive on my testicles, you're fucking awesome."
Whereupon the music will say "Yeah, that's what I thought. Now listen to me school this muthafuckin' trombone"
Next thing you know it's an hour later and your ears are like, "Holy hell we may never have an experience like this ever again."
Click here for a tiny taste of what Trombone Shorty can do, but protect your testicles.
If Trombone Shorty is music on fire, than the next day Esperanza Spalding was the cool soothing relief of relaxation. I saw her her a couple years ago, during the Best Buy days, and she was great, but I got the sense she was still, to some extent, proving herself to the industry. Her beautiful Afro was tied back, and it felt like she was still trying to please the normies a bit. A few months later she won her Grammy and the power that comes with it. This year the Afro was free and in all its glory. She was confident and sexy and leading us to where she wanted to go. Even an incredibly intrusive interruption by the Thunderbirds or The Blue Angels or whichever one of those jet fighter penis extensions in the sky our government puts up there to help recruit the next generation of thugs to enforce the will of the empire couldn't shit on Esperanza's parade. When they were gone I stood up, closed my eyes and put my hands in the air, felt the cool breeze in my face and the sounds of a strong woman descended from people the empire once held in slavery in my ear. It's a moment I never want to forget.
By the time I got over to the Amoeba Records tent, the line for an Esperanza autograph was hopelessly long, but I snuck around and snapped some pictures, which might put me somewhere on the stalker scale:
And just for shits and giggles, here's a random kid who seemed to be enjoying the festival:
There were other acts of course, the band of kids I suspected to be from some church-type organization that kicked ass, although I think they'd rather I say they played really well. The Norwegian fiddler, which sounds like some sort of oxymoron, the talented Meklit Hadero, who had the misfortune of being booked on an outdoor stage at night when the temperature was something like minus a hundred and ten degrees. There was Kettle Corn and Cajun food and so much fun I didn't even touch any alcohol. The last band I saw was called Ninety Miles, named after the political distance that separates its members, who are both Cuban and American. They wrapped me in a warm blanket of jazz for the long, cold walk home, told us of their performances in Cuba, and left me with hope that Best Buy would never, ever, be back.
It was a good weekend.
Ha ha.....kidding of course, but we all know that's exactly the type of thinking that'll happen when the corporations start to control the arts. Which is why my heart did a little happy dance when I saw the Best Buy tent had been replaced by one from Amoeba Music. Amoeba is awesome and if you are in Berkeley or San Francisco or Hollywood you need to stop reading this now and go check them out. I scored a cherry vinyl copy of Miles Davis' "Bitches Brew," the seminal album that essentially invented jazz fusion. Contrast this with last time I was here when the Best Buy tent featured a giant ass display plugging the Beatles and "Guitar Hero." Which is exactly why you'd go to a jazzfest. To play a video game to the tune of "Yellow Submarine." I felt the grooves of Miles in my hands and knew that things were looking up.
That night I saw Tony Bennett, who reiterated a lesson first taught to me by Johnny Cash. Stay authentic to who you are. Cash and Bennett were both about as uncool as a person could get in the 70's, and both faced pressure from their record labels to become more "marketable." Neither did, and both ended their careers as cultural treasures and with their pride intact. For a counterpoint, look at Kenny Rogers. Kenny Rogers is a sad, sad man in many ways.
Anyway, Tony Bennett was really good. That's what I'm trying to say. I hope he made it up to San Francisco and maybe found his heart again.
Earlier in the day it was Trombone Shorty.
Let me tell you one thing about Trombone Shorty. You will like Trombone Shorty. You will not have a choice. Trombone Shorty's music will grab you by the nads and scream at you. "YOU WILL LIKE ME BITCH!!! WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER????"
And then you'll be all like, "Dude, no need to get all abusive on my testicles, you're fucking awesome."
Whereupon the music will say "Yeah, that's what I thought. Now listen to me school this muthafuckin' trombone"
Next thing you know it's an hour later and your ears are like, "Holy hell we may never have an experience like this ever again."
Click here for a tiny taste of what Trombone Shorty can do, but protect your testicles.
If Trombone Shorty is music on fire, than the next day Esperanza Spalding was the cool soothing relief of relaxation. I saw her her a couple years ago, during the Best Buy days, and she was great, but I got the sense she was still, to some extent, proving herself to the industry. Her beautiful Afro was tied back, and it felt like she was still trying to please the normies a bit. A few months later she won her Grammy and the power that comes with it. This year the Afro was free and in all its glory. She was confident and sexy and leading us to where she wanted to go. Even an incredibly intrusive interruption by the Thunderbirds or The Blue Angels or whichever one of those jet fighter penis extensions in the sky our government puts up there to help recruit the next generation of thugs to enforce the will of the empire couldn't shit on Esperanza's parade. When they were gone I stood up, closed my eyes and put my hands in the air, felt the cool breeze in my face and the sounds of a strong woman descended from people the empire once held in slavery in my ear. It's a moment I never want to forget.
By the time I got over to the Amoeba Records tent, the line for an Esperanza autograph was hopelessly long, but I snuck around and snapped some pictures, which might put me somewhere on the stalker scale:
And just for shits and giggles, here's a random kid who seemed to be enjoying the festival:
There were other acts of course, the band of kids I suspected to be from some church-type organization that kicked ass, although I think they'd rather I say they played really well. The Norwegian fiddler, which sounds like some sort of oxymoron, the talented Meklit Hadero, who had the misfortune of being booked on an outdoor stage at night when the temperature was something like minus a hundred and ten degrees. There was Kettle Corn and Cajun food and so much fun I didn't even touch any alcohol. The last band I saw was called Ninety Miles, named after the political distance that separates its members, who are both Cuban and American. They wrapped me in a warm blanket of jazz for the long, cold walk home, told us of their performances in Cuba, and left me with hope that Best Buy would never, ever, be back.
It was a good weekend.
Say What You Will About My Republican Friends, But I Admire Their Commitment To Core Principles.
Remember John Kerry the flip-flopper? He voted for the war before he voted against it or something like that. Fucking wanker. He deserved to lose.
Not at all like my friends on the right. Steadfast they are. Decisive. Whether you like their decision or not you gotta admit the very definition of leadership is taking a position and then getting everyone else on board with your plan.
It just so happens we are electing a leader here in a couple of months. And you know, in these troubled times, maybe it would be a good thing to have a steady hand steering this nation. Someone strong, unwavering, dedicated to his vision of what's right and true. A real leader. Like this guy. Maybe he'll run for president one day:
Wait a minute.......Oh, crap.
Nevermind.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
I Started This Night Intending To Write Onion-Like Satire About This, But It's Really Not Funny. CVS Is A Drug Pusher.
I mean, it would be really easy to do some tongue in cheek stuff about how the DEA protected the mom and pop drug dealers of Sanford, Florida from corporate chain competition when they pulled the controlled drug registrations of two CVS stores, and I got a couple hundred words into it, but....
I kept thinking about one of my favorites, back when I had customers. In her mid 30's, but maybe the mental capacities of a 12 year old. She was sweet and deeply troubled. Good Lord that woman had been through some shit that left her with pain both physical and mental, but you couldn't help but to see the goodness popping up through the surface of the storms that went through her mind. You have no idea how hard I rooted for her.
Now she's dead. Because another drugstore filled a prescription they had no business filling. Kinda like those two CVS stores in Sanford. Except those two CVS stores in Sanford were doing it a lot more often.
The DEA says those two stores were pumping out enough oxycodone to supply a city with eight times the population of Sanford. Which means people are almost assuredly dead now that wouldn't have been. People who lost their battle with demons that taunted them, with a little help from the friendly pharmacy that looked the other way. Mothers have no sons, lovers are alone, friends are only memories.
I'll bet you though, that every one of those tortured souls were asked at the pharmacy counter, not about the addiction that was destroying them, but if they had their annual flu shot. A few of the deceased probably met their end with a blood stream full of narcotics and antibodies against this year's A/Victoria/361/2011 influenza strain.
If only there was great profit in getting them the help they really needed.
This is what your profession has come to. CVS is the single strongest player in the pharmacy field. On the cusp of being dominant. Walgreens just screwed themselves business wise and Rite Aid... is hardly worth mentioning. The independents have been devastated and the Wal-Marts and Safeway's that fill a few scripts do it mostly as a side business. Until an ambitious Vice-President decides he wants to make a name for himself by making the prescriptions profitable, which means he'll take a look at how CVS did it.
The accusations of bribery
The overcharging of the taxpayer.
The overcharging of their customers.
The person not a pharmacist who was perfectly able to do everything CVS expects of one.
The defiance of a body responsible for regulating the profession and protecting the public.
How the lax narcotic controls were preceded by lax controls of the materials needed to make crystal meth.
These are the people who now control your profession. Perhaps it's the onset of maturity, maybe it's the crankiness of stress, but you know, tonight, I just don't think it's funny.
CVS had the chutzpah to sue to challenge the suspension by the way, and says “We are reviewing the decision, evaluating our options and determining the best way to continue to serve our customers”
I might suggest, that if they were the slightest bit worried about the best way to serve their customers, none of this would have happened. I might suggest, that the best way to serve your customers CVS, is not by enabling them in ways to kill themselves.
Back when we were in control of our profession, that used to be obvious.
I kept thinking about one of my favorites, back when I had customers. In her mid 30's, but maybe the mental capacities of a 12 year old. She was sweet and deeply troubled. Good Lord that woman had been through some shit that left her with pain both physical and mental, but you couldn't help but to see the goodness popping up through the surface of the storms that went through her mind. You have no idea how hard I rooted for her.
Now she's dead. Because another drugstore filled a prescription they had no business filling. Kinda like those two CVS stores in Sanford. Except those two CVS stores in Sanford were doing it a lot more often.
The DEA says those two stores were pumping out enough oxycodone to supply a city with eight times the population of Sanford. Which means people are almost assuredly dead now that wouldn't have been. People who lost their battle with demons that taunted them, with a little help from the friendly pharmacy that looked the other way. Mothers have no sons, lovers are alone, friends are only memories.
I'll bet you though, that every one of those tortured souls were asked at the pharmacy counter, not about the addiction that was destroying them, but if they had their annual flu shot. A few of the deceased probably met their end with a blood stream full of narcotics and antibodies against this year's A/Victoria/361/2011 influenza strain.
If only there was great profit in getting them the help they really needed.
This is what your profession has come to. CVS is the single strongest player in the pharmacy field. On the cusp of being dominant. Walgreens just screwed themselves business wise and Rite Aid... is hardly worth mentioning. The independents have been devastated and the Wal-Marts and Safeway's that fill a few scripts do it mostly as a side business. Until an ambitious Vice-President decides he wants to make a name for himself by making the prescriptions profitable, which means he'll take a look at how CVS did it.
The accusations of bribery
The overcharging of the taxpayer.
The overcharging of their customers.
The person not a pharmacist who was perfectly able to do everything CVS expects of one.
The defiance of a body responsible for regulating the profession and protecting the public.
How the lax narcotic controls were preceded by lax controls of the materials needed to make crystal meth.
These are the people who now control your profession. Perhaps it's the onset of maturity, maybe it's the crankiness of stress, but you know, tonight, I just don't think it's funny.
CVS had the chutzpah to sue to challenge the suspension by the way, and says “We are reviewing the decision, evaluating our options and determining the best way to continue to serve our customers”
I might suggest, that if they were the slightest bit worried about the best way to serve their customers, none of this would have happened. I might suggest, that the best way to serve your customers CVS, is not by enabling them in ways to kill themselves.
Back when we were in control of our profession, that used to be obvious.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
It Takes A Village Sometimes, To Run A Pharmacy
HUNTSVILLE, AL, SEPT 10,2012, - In a devastating blow to the nation's pharmacies, Qualitest Pharmaceuticals announced today an immediate recall of one lot of the popular painkiller hydrocodone with acetaminophen tablets. According to a press release, it is possible that some tablets in the affected lot could exceed weight specifications, making them super-potent for both acetaminophen, also sold alone under the brand name Tylenol, and hydrocodone, a narcotic painkiller.
While the recall affects only one lot of one of a relatively unpopular strength of the med, pharmacists across the country worried about the impact to their bottom line.
"We sell a lot of hydrocodone stuff, I think" said some guy we've never seen before behind the counter at the Rite Aid in Monterey, California. "I mean, most stores do. I'm just here filling in for the week. What if we order some and it doesn't come in? Oh dear. If only we had an experienced staff pharmacist here. They would know what to do about this and the other million things that have come up in the last few days."
Across the country at Charmar Pharmacy in Bronx, NY, a pharmacist whose head wasn't up his ass explained "A lot of times, even though the actual recall is only for one lot of one strength, something like this can affect the whole supply chain as doctors and patients adapt to a particular product not being immediately available. Depending on how this plays out, this could have a big impact on our business."
In the United States, sales of all hydrocodone products are conservatively estimated at 45 trillion dollars a day. Actually maybe more like an hour.
However, in a surprising and apparently spontaneous display of support for their community pharmacies, customers across the nation lined up outside drugstores, clinics, hospitals and ambulance services to offer assistance.
"I heard there might be some super strength hydros this place might have to get rid of" said customer Byran Billups while waiting outside a Medicine Shoppe pharmacy in Dallas, Texas before the start of business. "I'm here to help."
Pharmacist Michael Haynard soon told the assembled crowd that while the store's hydrocodone came from a different manufacturer, and therefore was not subject to the recall, he did need some help moving some merchandise away from a broken water pipe.
"Sheeeeeeeeeeeeiiit" said Billups as he turned to walk away. It was a scene repeated across the country as customers who rushed to the aid of their local drugstore learned there were already procedures in place to dispose of recalled product.
Others meanwhile, were determined to stand by until they were the situation was under control. "Maybe they'll be a UPS strike or sumpthin, so they won't be able to ship the stuff back" said a customer outside a CVS pharmacy in Sanford, Florida. "I used to be able to count on these guys to always come through for me. I don't understand what's going on."
While the recall affects only one lot of one of a relatively unpopular strength of the med, pharmacists across the country worried about the impact to their bottom line.
"We sell a lot of hydrocodone stuff, I think" said some guy we've never seen before behind the counter at the Rite Aid in Monterey, California. "I mean, most stores do. I'm just here filling in for the week. What if we order some and it doesn't come in? Oh dear. If only we had an experienced staff pharmacist here. They would know what to do about this and the other million things that have come up in the last few days."
Across the country at Charmar Pharmacy in Bronx, NY, a pharmacist whose head wasn't up his ass explained "A lot of times, even though the actual recall is only for one lot of one strength, something like this can affect the whole supply chain as doctors and patients adapt to a particular product not being immediately available. Depending on how this plays out, this could have a big impact on our business."
In the United States, sales of all hydrocodone products are conservatively estimated at 45 trillion dollars a day. Actually maybe more like an hour.
However, in a surprising and apparently spontaneous display of support for their community pharmacies, customers across the nation lined up outside drugstores, clinics, hospitals and ambulance services to offer assistance.
"I heard there might be some super strength hydros this place might have to get rid of" said customer Byran Billups while waiting outside a Medicine Shoppe pharmacy in Dallas, Texas before the start of business. "I'm here to help."
Pharmacist Michael Haynard soon told the assembled crowd that while the store's hydrocodone came from a different manufacturer, and therefore was not subject to the recall, he did need some help moving some merchandise away from a broken water pipe.
"Sheeeeeeeeeeeeiiit" said Billups as he turned to walk away. It was a scene repeated across the country as customers who rushed to the aid of their local drugstore learned there were already procedures in place to dispose of recalled product.
Others meanwhile, were determined to stand by until they were the situation was under control. "Maybe they'll be a UPS strike or sumpthin, so they won't be able to ship the stuff back" said a customer outside a CVS pharmacy in Sanford, Florida. "I used to be able to count on these guys to always come through for me. I don't understand what's going on."
Saturday, September 08, 2012
Meanwhile, Over At CVS......
From the mailbag...I almost hesitate to post this, as I fear it might give the other "Big 2" an idea to rip off.
But what the hell, I'm not part of that rat race anymore. Here we go:
Bwwwaaaahhhhaaahhhaaaaaaa.....damn good thing they're not having the techs do this. Intensive pharmcotherapy such as this is exactly why I applied to pharmacy school.
By the way, I think this might be a good place for a little mash up with some words by Ron Snow, Manager, Professional & College Relations at CVS Caremark. He wrote these for the Indiana Pharmacist’s Alliance quarterly magazine and they come via the blog of Jim Plagakis. Jim gave me the break that got me into my gig at Drug Topics, which probably contributed to me getting fired from my last job. Which means I owe JP one huge-ass favor:
Now back to my CVS source:
Yeah....no easy answer at all as to where those self image issues could be coming from....after 6 years of busting your ass for a doctorate...huh....yup, no idea.
Back to Ron:
Not a clue did you make your readyfill quota. What could it be?
Really? You know...Here's just a wacky theory....I'm just gonna....maybe I shouldn't...it's kinda crazy.....oh what the hell....maybe.....
....they are. Just a little bit ahead in their professional development than the person who got a doctorate so they could be ordered to fill out these all day.
Just a crazy idea. Back to my CVS Deep Pill:
I know, but if those pharmacy schools would just let up on their pressure to put kids in residencies, everything would be fine.
Felt the pain. And hoping never to feel it again. You have no idea how much I want this clinic to offer me a gig. I want. To be. A Pharmacist again.
Sigh.
But what the hell, I'm not part of that rat race anymore. Here we go:
I go into work on Wed and we have been sent CVS "thank you" cards to be HAND WRITTEN by the pharmacist and given to the preselected ESI transfer patients when they pick up their RX's. It should say some of the following things:
-thanx for choosing CVS
-offering flu shots
-offering text messaging
-soon will have electronic signing at pickup
-CVS can have your entire profile and screening for drug interaction
-one on one patient /pharmacist counseling with expert drug info
-Blah blah blah blah blah
-Card is in an envelope and presented to patient at pickup
Bwwwaaaahhhhaaahhhaaaaaaa.....damn good thing they're not having the techs do this. Intensive pharmcotherapy such as this is exactly why I applied to pharmacy school.
By the way, I think this might be a good place for a little mash up with some words by Ron Snow, Manager, Professional & College Relations at CVS Caremark. He wrote these for the Indiana Pharmacist’s Alliance quarterly magazine and they come via the blog of Jim Plagakis. Jim gave me the break that got me into my gig at Drug Topics, which probably contributed to me getting fired from my last job. Which means I owe JP one huge-ass favor:
I am not sure when the change started, but over the past few years I have noticed an inferiority complex growing among community pharmacists. For many years the proud neighborhood pharmacist was known as the most trusted professional, but now he/she has turned into someone with self-image issues. Why has this change taken place? The way I see it, this is a complicated issue with no easy answer.
Now back to my CVS source:
In addition we are calling every one of the ESI patients to give them the same info that is one the card and then we fax all of the calls made daily to the DM...In addition to THAT, the techs pass out 20% off coupons to each patient targeted for purchases in the front thru September. In addition to THAT, we are to delay the transfers of all ESI patients' rxs for an hour and then call the patient to find out why they are transferring...I think you already know this...
Yeah....no easy answer at all as to where those self image issues could be coming from....after 6 years of busting your ass for a doctorate...huh....yup, no idea.
Back to Ron:
What prompted me to think about this image problem was a recent conversation I overheard between a couple of new grads that was centered on their career choices. The first grad talked excitedly about his choice of starting a career with a hospital where he was confident that he would eventually get the opportunity to move into a “clinical” position in the not too distant future. The second grad sheepishly commented that he was “just going to work for so-and-so pharmacy” because he did not want to give up his 3 years of service with the company. I did not hear any passion of excitement in his voice about his future career plan.
Why did not this recent grad not show more enthusiasm for his community pharmacy choice?
Not a clue did you make your readyfill quota. What could it be?
I believe one reason is the focus/pressure that schools are putting on grads to complete a residency...Unfortunately, I have been informed numerous times by interns that they are left to feel inferior if they choose not to pursue a residency.
Really? You know...Here's just a wacky theory....I'm just gonna....maybe I shouldn't...it's kinda crazy.....oh what the hell....maybe.....
....they are. Just a little bit ahead in their professional development than the person who got a doctorate so they could be ordered to fill out these all day.
Just a crazy idea. Back to my CVS Deep Pill:
Its all so crazy...and so demeaning to the employees and NO health care info given to patients at all...I am an old school RPh and it is killing me...
I know, but if those pharmacy schools would just let up on their pressure to put kids in residencies, everything would be fine.
.I know you feel the pain also
Felt the pain. And hoping never to feel it again. You have no idea how much I want this clinic to offer me a gig. I want. To be. A Pharmacist again.
Sigh.
Friday, September 07, 2012
So, How Was Your Day Drugmonkey?
I'll tell you how my day was. Started off with this in my mailbag:
Hell yeah that doctor was impressed. You know why? Because I am the friggin' MASTER OF PHARMACY!!!! that's why. You got a drug question and you go anywhere else you are cheating yourself my friends.
Also did some job fishing last night and got a little nibble today. I don't wanna jinx it by saying anything, but even if you're a hater who can't handle knowing someone with the Drug Library of Congress in their head is out there, you'd probably say something like:
"I wish that Drugmonkey would burn in hell, but man....that job couldn't be a better fit for him"
OK, you know what, I can't keep a secret. It's at a clinic that serves un and underinsured patients. How much of a fairy tale would that be if I got this gig while Rite Aid continues their slide into bankruptcy? How much of a fairy tale?
So yeah, not a bad day. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
I printed out your recommendations and sent the paper in with (boyfriend of person who wrote me for some drug advice) who, I'm sure, was utterly embarrassed to take in a note from his girlfriend. Ha! ;-D But when he mentioned about my friend, who practices pharmacy, doc asked him what you suggested... and doc agreed... and seemed impressed as well.
Hell yeah that doctor was impressed. You know why? Because I am the friggin' MASTER OF PHARMACY!!!! that's why. You got a drug question and you go anywhere else you are cheating yourself my friends.
Also did some job fishing last night and got a little nibble today. I don't wanna jinx it by saying anything, but even if you're a hater who can't handle knowing someone with the Drug Library of Congress in their head is out there, you'd probably say something like:
"I wish that Drugmonkey would burn in hell, but man....that job couldn't be a better fit for him"
OK, you know what, I can't keep a secret. It's at a clinic that serves un and underinsured patients. How much of a fairy tale would that be if I got this gig while Rite Aid continues their slide into bankruptcy? How much of a fairy tale?
So yeah, not a bad day. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Tales Of The Jobless Life, Part One
Tomorrow's gonna be when the fecal material hits the fan. Two deadlines to meet on Friday and tomorrow's gonna be my last chance to throw up some good work. That's what writing feels like by the way, like when you know you're gonna throw up sometime today, but aren't really sure when.
Then.....all the sudden it vomits up...messy words splattering all over the place while you struggle to get them at least near to where they should be deposited. Then all you gotta do is spend a lot of time cleaning them up and you got you some writing work done. Anyway, I gotta throw up twice by Friday.
Today though, I had a Momsitting gig. Some of you may remember my dear friend who is caring for her mother with Alzheimer's. My current joblessness is a bit of a blessing for her, seeing as how she needs occasional time to run errands and catch up on life stuff and just de-stress a little for a few hours.
She needs occasional time and I have time in abundance. Pretty much a classic win win.
So today's idea was to teach Mom a card game. In particular, "war." For those of you not familiar, I'll tell you it's the simplest card game on the face of the earth. You throw down a card, then your opponent throws down a card, and the highest card wins. If you both throw down a card of equal value, war is declared, consisting of two cards face down and one face up, and the highest one wins the whole pile. This continues until someone is out of cards.
Again, pretty much the simplest game on planet earth. And I lost. Every time.
After awhile I started to be pretty sure I was giving Mom credit for hands that I had actually won. Which would be a sweet thing to do, if I were doing it on purpose. I wasn't. Today I was outsmarted at the easiest card game imaginable by an elderly woman with severe dementia.
I'm chasing my first serious job lead since Rite Aid's asshatery. And I'm hoping, mostly for my own mental health, that it might lead somewhere.
Then.....all the sudden it vomits up...messy words splattering all over the place while you struggle to get them at least near to where they should be deposited. Then all you gotta do is spend a lot of time cleaning them up and you got you some writing work done. Anyway, I gotta throw up twice by Friday.
Today though, I had a Momsitting gig. Some of you may remember my dear friend who is caring for her mother with Alzheimer's. My current joblessness is a bit of a blessing for her, seeing as how she needs occasional time to run errands and catch up on life stuff and just de-stress a little for a few hours.
She needs occasional time and I have time in abundance. Pretty much a classic win win.
So today's idea was to teach Mom a card game. In particular, "war." For those of you not familiar, I'll tell you it's the simplest card game on the face of the earth. You throw down a card, then your opponent throws down a card, and the highest card wins. If you both throw down a card of equal value, war is declared, consisting of two cards face down and one face up, and the highest one wins the whole pile. This continues until someone is out of cards.
Again, pretty much the simplest game on planet earth. And I lost. Every time.
After awhile I started to be pretty sure I was giving Mom credit for hands that I had actually won. Which would be a sweet thing to do, if I were doing it on purpose. I wasn't. Today I was outsmarted at the easiest card game imaginable by an elderly woman with severe dementia.
I'm chasing my first serious job lead since Rite Aid's asshatery. And I'm hoping, mostly for my own mental health, that it might lead somewhere.
Seriously, You Guys Just Can't Get Enough Can You?
Twenty minutes? Really? Shouldn't you guys be monitoring flu shot quotas or something? Because honestly, I don't think it's possible to fire someone twice. You don't seem to realize you have no power over me anymore.
You suck you suck you suck you suck. See? I would never say stuff like that if I was still on your payroll. Ironic isn't it? If your goal was to shut me up you were about as effective as you've been in the pursuit of profit.
I also never would give the world the scoop about your "savings card" prescription pricing if I was still your employee. The whole time I worked for you, I never once told people how I saw that depending on the med, that "savings card" turns into a "rip off the customer" card.
I still haven't. Gone into the details of how that card can screw people over compared to other discount plans that are available. But we both know I could. So maybe you shouldn't piss me off. More than you already have.
Looks like any remaining power in our relationship rests with me now, yes? I use the sweet sweet irony to flavor my coffee every morning.
It does make me happy to know, however, that based on your outclick, you're learning about the outsized influence of big money in our electoral process.
There may be hope for you yet.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Quick, Name A Drug Interaction. Any Drug Interaction.
Seriously. The first one that comes to your head. Now, I want you to remember the very first thing you thought of when asked to perform the most basic of tasks that define what it is to be a pharmacist as I dip into tonight's mailbag. OK?
"Dipping into tonight's mailbag" by the way, isn't nearly as fun as it sounds. Anyway, here we go:
I like hearing someone's marriage got them through the bullshit. Probably because I fairly recently found the most awesome girlfriend in the world.
And dangerous. Let's not forget dangerous. I'm looking at you 15 minute prescription guarantee.
How many of you named coumadin/aspirin when I asked you to come up with an interaction quickly? I'm betting most of you. It's probably the most common, most dangerous, drug interaction you'll find in any type of ranking of these things. Pretty basic stuff for anyone with a pharmacy education. Yes?
Read on.
For those of you playing along at home, here's what the good folks at drugs.com have to say about aspirin and coumadin:
And again, anyone who's spent more than a week in pharmacy school knows this. This is simple, basic stuff.
Back to the letter:
Correction. It was your profession buddy-boy. Today my friend, you are no longer even capable of judging whether the possibility that someone might bleed to death merits a warning label. Got that?
You are at 14:30 on that waiter on the counter though. better hurry up before someone gets a gift card.
Yes, I do. Realize that unions are not perfect, and that as it stands today, they need a lot.....a LOT....of work before they become the type of organization that is able to advocate for our control of our profession. But right now they are the only tool we have. We need to improve the tool.
"Improving the tool" by the way, won't be nearly as much fun as it sounds.
Pharmacists can't even get an aspirin/coumadin warning on the label at one of the major chains that now control pharmacy. Imagine someone had told you that would happen back in 1995 and what you would have thought.
Now imagine what might be happening in 2030. Unless we improve the tool.
"Dipping into tonight's mailbag" by the way, isn't nearly as fun as it sounds. Anyway, here we go:
I worked for (corporate soul sucking chain) about 7 years before I moved and I worked for (2nd corporate soul sucking chain) about 15 years before that. Neither had unions, but I wish they had. I developed a bit of an edge from all those years of corporate aggravation.When I got home my sweet wife would let me vent, then she'd say something like: "You're over reacting, just do your best and let it go. Hey,supper is ready..let's eat" She probably saved my life by doing that for me all those years
I like hearing someone's marriage got them through the bullshit. Probably because I fairly recently found the most awesome girlfriend in the world.
But it bothers me that the corporate folks do whatever they want without much regard for the people who work for them. A lot of it is not only silly, but just dumb.
And dangerous. Let's not forget dangerous. I'm looking at you 15 minute prescription guarantee.
Here's a little example that happened last week. Might seem little to others, but I think you'll understand:
In the past, when we dispensed coumadin, we got a little auxillary label that said: "do not take with aspirin unless directed by physician".
How many of you named coumadin/aspirin when I asked you to come up with an interaction quickly? I'm betting most of you. It's probably the most common, most dangerous, drug interaction you'll find in any type of ranking of these things. Pretty basic stuff for anyone with a pharmacy education. Yes?
Read on.
It printed automatically on the peel off spot. One day that label dissappeared and was replaced by two others.One said do not take if pregnant without Dr advice, the other said do not drink alcohol with this med...but the no aspirin sticker was gone. I checked Facts and Comparisons to make sure the aspirin/coumadin thing was still legit. And I found out that they classify the coumadin/aspirin interaction as level 1. (Probable, prompt, and serious). The alcohol/coumadin interaction is classified as level 3 (unlikely, delayed, and not significant).
For those of you playing along at home, here's what the good folks at drugs.com have to say about aspirin and coumadin:
Aspirin, even in small doses, may increase the risk of bleeding in patients on oral anticoagulants by inhibiting platelet aggregation, prolonging bleeding time, and inducing gastrointestinal lesions. Analgesic/antipyretic doses of aspirin increase the risk of major bleeding more than low-dose aspirin; however bleeding has also occurred with low-dose aspirin.
And again, anyone who's spent more than a week in pharmacy school knows this. This is simple, basic stuff.
Back to the letter:
So I called one of the pharmacist who serves on the "advisory board" and she agreed that it might be a good idea to have that level 1 interaction put back on the label. She brought this up on the conference call and was told, "no we can't do that. Medispan would have to redesign our labels and all that and "so, no we can not do that".
I know it's just a little green sticker on the side of the bottle, but it's my profession.
Correction. It was your profession buddy-boy. Today my friend, you are no longer even capable of judging whether the possibility that someone might bleed to death merits a warning label. Got that?
You are at 14:30 on that waiter on the counter though. better hurry up before someone gets a gift card.
I feel powerless to address this incompetence. I would like to be able to report this to the union and have them call up corporate and say: "Hey what were you thinking? Get that changed right away. Not next week, not after lunch, NOW!"
But I don't really like unions. I would like to think that they are unnecessary for professional people. I've developed a 2 inch thick folder of gripes like the one I've outlined above, but I don't like the sharp edge that's it's developed in me. I want someone to speak for us, but I don't know who.
You got any insight into this situation?
Yes, I do. Realize that unions are not perfect, and that as it stands today, they need a lot.....a LOT....of work before they become the type of organization that is able to advocate for our control of our profession. But right now they are the only tool we have. We need to improve the tool.
"Improving the tool" by the way, won't be nearly as much fun as it sounds.
Pharmacists can't even get an aspirin/coumadin warning on the label at one of the major chains that now control pharmacy. Imagine someone had told you that would happen back in 1995 and what you would have thought.
Now imagine what might be happening in 2030. Unless we improve the tool.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
A Little Rite Aid Southern California Strike Rumor Mongering.
So....am I unemployed now or am I writer? I just spent a good 15 minutes staring out the window pondering that question. You'd be surprised how busy I've been with the writing stuff of late. Had to learn how to use the calendar function on my Blackberry I did. I've had that thing for four years and never felt the need to learn the calendar function until this month.
On the other hand, I still have a Blackberry, which would be a phone for the unemployed.
And I still start the day with an automated e-mail from CalJobs, the state website for those who aspire to better cellphones. You can set up a profile there, then have it search its database every night for the type of jobs you're looking for and report back to you first thing in the morning. Or second thing, after a cup of coffee that I can never seem to make strong enough. Wait. Third thing. Usually gotta pee right out of bed. And clean out Spooky's litterbox.
Anyway, the job listings are there when you're ready.
Yesterday's looked pretty promising for awhile, right up top there was a pharmacist position just down the coast a little ways. It wasn't a hospital, which I have my fingers crossed for if I can ever find one that doesn't require hospital experience, but maybe it was a cool indy, perhaps with a compounding practice. I think it'd be kinda cool to get some mad compounding skillz.....
Shit. It was Rite Aid. The company whose commitment to protecting scabs from hearing any mean words as they take part in the destruction of our profession is the reason I'm getting these e-mails in the first place.
On to the next one.....Rite Aid....dammit.
Next.....Rite Aid.
After that.....Rite Aid. I am not kidding you. Sixty-nine postings for Rite Aid pharmacists. Followed by another thirty-one today. This is one page of five:
So...a company has 100 job openings for pharmacists, in one state, almost literally overnight. Let's use Mr. Brain and see if we can come up with any theories as to why.
I'll give you one clue. There are 124 colleges of pharmacy in the country today. I learned that while I was researching some writing stuff. In 2000 there were 81. Process that while you're thinking about whether the major pharmacist shortages of the 90's have returned.
You know, I'm in a good mood, so I'll give you two clues. Rite Aid is looking at the possibility of a strike in its Southern California stores.
I think we might have our answer.
A storm's coming my friends. And don't kid yourself. No matter where you work, or who you work for, this is a last stand. You know damn well what's happened to our profession in the last 20 years. If you need a reminder, next time you come home from work, I want you to look in the mirror, think about how your day went, and tell yourself you are a professional.
Seriously. Try it. Let me know how far you get.
If you ever want that professionalism back my friends, you're going to have to confront the forces that now control pharmacy. Try it yourself and you'll probably be as successful as telling that person in the mirror how valued you are for your medical skills. You need to get in the face of power and advocate for your interests, and if you go in there alone you will be chewed up and spat right back out.
Unions, however, get in the face of power and advocate for their members. That's pretty much their whole purpose. Lord knows they've done a half-ass job of it for the last generation or two, but the last scrap of infrastructure is still there, for now. With a lot of effort, it can be repaired. Once we lose this last bit though, it's gone forever.
How would you like a contract that says flu shot quotas are unethical? Only one way you're gonna get it. Repair that infrastructure and get in the face of power.
Or, you could always go to California City for $68 an hour. That has pretty much been the way of the last 20 years and you see where that's gotten us. I always wondered how much someone's honor was worth.
I'm going to get ready for bed now. Looking myself right in the mirror as I brush my teeth, and sleeping tonight like a baby.
On the other hand, I still have a Blackberry, which would be a phone for the unemployed.
And I still start the day with an automated e-mail from CalJobs, the state website for those who aspire to better cellphones. You can set up a profile there, then have it search its database every night for the type of jobs you're looking for and report back to you first thing in the morning. Or second thing, after a cup of coffee that I can never seem to make strong enough. Wait. Third thing. Usually gotta pee right out of bed. And clean out Spooky's litterbox.
Anyway, the job listings are there when you're ready.
Yesterday's looked pretty promising for awhile, right up top there was a pharmacist position just down the coast a little ways. It wasn't a hospital, which I have my fingers crossed for if I can ever find one that doesn't require hospital experience, but maybe it was a cool indy, perhaps with a compounding practice. I think it'd be kinda cool to get some mad compounding skillz.....
Shit. It was Rite Aid. The company whose commitment to protecting scabs from hearing any mean words as they take part in the destruction of our profession is the reason I'm getting these e-mails in the first place.
On to the next one.....Rite Aid....dammit.
Next.....Rite Aid.
After that.....Rite Aid. I am not kidding you. Sixty-nine postings for Rite Aid pharmacists. Followed by another thirty-one today. This is one page of five:
I'll give you one clue. There are 124 colleges of pharmacy in the country today. I learned that while I was researching some writing stuff. In 2000 there were 81. Process that while you're thinking about whether the major pharmacist shortages of the 90's have returned.
You know, I'm in a good mood, so I'll give you two clues. Rite Aid is looking at the possibility of a strike in its Southern California stores.
I think we might have our answer.
A storm's coming my friends. And don't kid yourself. No matter where you work, or who you work for, this is a last stand. You know damn well what's happened to our profession in the last 20 years. If you need a reminder, next time you come home from work, I want you to look in the mirror, think about how your day went, and tell yourself you are a professional.
Seriously. Try it. Let me know how far you get.
If you ever want that professionalism back my friends, you're going to have to confront the forces that now control pharmacy. Try it yourself and you'll probably be as successful as telling that person in the mirror how valued you are for your medical skills. You need to get in the face of power and advocate for your interests, and if you go in there alone you will be chewed up and spat right back out.
Unions, however, get in the face of power and advocate for their members. That's pretty much their whole purpose. Lord knows they've done a half-ass job of it for the last generation or two, but the last scrap of infrastructure is still there, for now. With a lot of effort, it can be repaired. Once we lose this last bit though, it's gone forever.
How would you like a contract that says flu shot quotas are unethical? Only one way you're gonna get it. Repair that infrastructure and get in the face of power.
Or, you could always go to California City for $68 an hour. That has pretty much been the way of the last 20 years and you see where that's gotten us. I always wondered how much someone's honor was worth.
I'm going to get ready for bed now. Looking myself right in the mirror as I brush my teeth, and sleeping tonight like a baby.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Blog Posts That Somehow Didn't Get Me Fired, Number 3.
Original air date, October 12th, 2008
The Discount Pricing Program From The Pharmacy That Makes It Personal.
CAMP HILL, Pa. - Rite Aid Corp., the nation's third largest drug store chain, today claimed success for its "making stock affordable for the people" program, which took the industry by surprise when it was launched 15 months ago.
"Rite Aid has always been known for low prices every day" said CEO Mary Sammons with a straight face. "But with the phenomenal success of our stock discount program, we've taken a big step towards making corporate ownership, not just shampoo and medicine, affordable for everyone."
In East Los Angeles, José Lopez is using the Rite Aid program to help him take his shot at the American Dream.
"When I first came to this country, I only hoped to find work so I could send some money home to my Mother and cousin" said Lopez, a day laborer and part time landscaper found most mornings outside the Home Depot on Wilshire Blvd. "Now, with what I earn at the end of most days I can buy part of this giant drugstore. I hope someday to own enough of it to be given a golden parachute like the businessmen I hear about on TV. "
As of Friday, Lopez held a 15% stake in the company.
Morgan Stanley analyst Barney Weismann said that unlike the products sold in its stores, shares of Rite Aid Stock really are cheap.
"They certainly were ahead of the curve in aggressively driving down the price of their stock" said Weismann. "The idea has really caught on of late, not only in the drugstore industry but across the entire business world. Rite Aid took the lead in discount stock pricing, and no one has really managed to catch up."
"Catch up and stay in business" he quickly added.
The program suffered a major setback last month when Rite Aid shares were pulled from the shelves of several major dollar store chains as being "too cheap for even us to sell," nevertheless, Ms. Sammons extolled the virtues of value stock pricing.
"I think it's an opportunity anyone who still has any money left should take advantage of" said Sammons, her voice slightly quivering. "Please....I'm begging you...take advantage.....before it's too late."
Sammons then started to weep softly.
Disclaimer- Everything in this post is made up, except for the incredibly low price of Rite Aid stock, which closed at 55 cents a share on Friday.
_____________________________
Well, four years later I certainly look foolish on this one, don't I? A new CEO, a new business strategy, and that stock price these days has more than doubled...
Yup. Closed today at $1.21 it did. While I wipe the egg off my face, let's review what we've learned so far. As we've just seen, Rite Aid was totally cool with a person mocking their business shortcomings.
They also didn't mind me openly lusting after their CEO.
Telling the world they tried to order a pharmacist to feed someone's controlled substance addiction? No problem!!
But, say scabs suck...and...you.....are....outta here. Standing up for working people who want some measure of health security must be worse than all those things.
At least they are in some people's eyes, we now know.
The Discount Pricing Program From The Pharmacy That Makes It Personal.
CAMP HILL, Pa. - Rite Aid Corp., the nation's third largest drug store chain, today claimed success for its "making stock affordable for the people" program, which took the industry by surprise when it was launched 15 months ago.
"Rite Aid has always been known for low prices every day" said CEO Mary Sammons with a straight face. "But with the phenomenal success of our stock discount program, we've taken a big step towards making corporate ownership, not just shampoo and medicine, affordable for everyone."
In East Los Angeles, José Lopez is using the Rite Aid program to help him take his shot at the American Dream.
"When I first came to this country, I only hoped to find work so I could send some money home to my Mother and cousin" said Lopez, a day laborer and part time landscaper found most mornings outside the Home Depot on Wilshire Blvd. "Now, with what I earn at the end of most days I can buy part of this giant drugstore. I hope someday to own enough of it to be given a golden parachute like the businessmen I hear about on TV. "
As of Friday, Lopez held a 15% stake in the company.
Morgan Stanley analyst Barney Weismann said that unlike the products sold in its stores, shares of Rite Aid Stock really are cheap.
"They certainly were ahead of the curve in aggressively driving down the price of their stock" said Weismann. "The idea has really caught on of late, not only in the drugstore industry but across the entire business world. Rite Aid took the lead in discount stock pricing, and no one has really managed to catch up."
"Catch up and stay in business" he quickly added.
The program suffered a major setback last month when Rite Aid shares were pulled from the shelves of several major dollar store chains as being "too cheap for even us to sell," nevertheless, Ms. Sammons extolled the virtues of value stock pricing.
"I think it's an opportunity anyone who still has any money left should take advantage of" said Sammons, her voice slightly quivering. "Please....I'm begging you...take advantage.....before it's too late."
Sammons then started to weep softly.
Disclaimer- Everything in this post is made up, except for the incredibly low price of Rite Aid stock, which closed at 55 cents a share on Friday.
_____________________________
Well, four years later I certainly look foolish on this one, don't I? A new CEO, a new business strategy, and that stock price these days has more than doubled...
Yup. Closed today at $1.21 it did. While I wipe the egg off my face, let's review what we've learned so far. As we've just seen, Rite Aid was totally cool with a person mocking their business shortcomings.
They also didn't mind me openly lusting after their CEO.
Telling the world they tried to order a pharmacist to feed someone's controlled substance addiction? No problem!!
But, say scabs suck...and...you.....are....outta here. Standing up for working people who want some measure of health security must be worse than all those things.
At least they are in some people's eyes, we now know.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Ever See A Picture Of An Unsubstantiated Rumor? Now You Can.
Because when I called the Rite Aid media relations person and asked her if the company had plans to bring in replacement workers if a Southern California strike went down, she said it was just that. An "unsubstantiated rumor"
So, if you get a picture of an unsubstantiated rumor, is it still unsubstantiated? Or have you changed it's very nature, the way you can change photons in the double slit experiment merely by measuring them?
I may win a Nobel Prize for this. Me and the super secret spy who got the pic for me.
So, if you get a picture of an unsubstantiated rumor, is it still unsubstantiated? Or have you changed it's very nature, the way you can change photons in the double slit experiment merely by measuring them?
I may win a Nobel Prize for this. Me and the super secret spy who got the pic for me.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Blog Posts That Somehow Didn't Get Me Fired #2
Almost forgot about this one until a reminder showed up in the mail bag tonight. Original air date, December 21st, 2007:
I May Be Single Handedly Responsible For Every Chain Pharmacy In This Country Being Woefully Understaffed
Why? Because Corpo-pharmacy bigwigs know that the very second I am not drowning in prescriptions, things like this start happening to their displays.
The horses have been going at it for two days now. If anyone bothers to notice, and figure out the source, It'll probably make my lobbying for more tech help a little harder.
Does make the 12 hour day go a bit quicker though.
I May Be Single Handedly Responsible For Every Chain Pharmacy In This Country Being Woefully Understaffed
Why? Because Corpo-pharmacy bigwigs know that the very second I am not drowning in prescriptions, things like this start happening to their displays.
The horses have been going at it for two days now. If anyone bothers to notice, and figure out the source, It'll probably make my lobbying for more tech help a little harder.
Does make the 12 hour day go a bit quicker though.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Good Morning Rite Aid!!
How are you?? I'm so glad that you want to keep in touch. As you can imagine, I was a little surprised when I checked my hit logs and saw that someone from the corporate office is still visiting my humble little blog garden several times a day. But then, I realized that since you can't really be plotting to fire someone who isn't working for you anymore, you must be coming around because you like what you see. I'm flattered. Maybe all that striving to be the next Jon Stewart, the next Stephen Colbert, to become the next Onion is starting to pay off.
Do you like Jon Stewart Mr. Rite Aid Corporate Hack that can't get enough of my writing? Do you think Stephen Colbert is real? When he testified in front of Congress did you think he was a newscaster giving journalistic insight into one of the major issues of the day?
I hope you didn't. Because that would make you really stupid. Someone who would have to have explained to them that people like Colbert, Stewart, and the writers of The Onion use satire and outrageous behavior to make larger points simply wouldn't have the brainpower to be an executive at a successful drugstore chain, a goal I know you must aspire to while putting in time at your current job. I know you get it though, because when I tried to explain this to you the last time we talked, you totally cut me off, like you already understood.
Which can only mean this violence in the workplace policy you claim was violated was meant to provide protection from fictional characters like Stephen Colbert and The Drugmonkey. You did notice that on the day of our final meeting my name had never appeared on this blog, right? That this wasn't a blog by David, but a blog written in the character of The Drugmonkey, correct?
Of course you did. Because you're really smart.
You must really take your fiction seriously Mr. Hack. Because when I, David, called your media people to get information on your plans to bring in scabs should a Southern California strike happen, I was told that this was only an "unsubstantiated rumor"
So, when The Drugmonkey wrote that any scabs that come out here deserve to have their ass kicked "so hard their rectum ends up in front of their incisors" you immediately swung into action. To protect an unsubstantiated rumor from a fictional character.
I can only hope that someday you'll treat real people as well.
Just to show there's no hard feelings though, I'll leave you with an entertaining little clip that I'm sure I won't have to explain to you.
Or will I?
Do you like Jon Stewart Mr. Rite Aid Corporate Hack that can't get enough of my writing? Do you think Stephen Colbert is real? When he testified in front of Congress did you think he was a newscaster giving journalistic insight into one of the major issues of the day?
I hope you didn't. Because that would make you really stupid. Someone who would have to have explained to them that people like Colbert, Stewart, and the writers of The Onion use satire and outrageous behavior to make larger points simply wouldn't have the brainpower to be an executive at a successful drugstore chain, a goal I know you must aspire to while putting in time at your current job. I know you get it though, because when I tried to explain this to you the last time we talked, you totally cut me off, like you already understood.
Which can only mean this violence in the workplace policy you claim was violated was meant to provide protection from fictional characters like Stephen Colbert and The Drugmonkey. You did notice that on the day of our final meeting my name had never appeared on this blog, right? That this wasn't a blog by David, but a blog written in the character of The Drugmonkey, correct?
Of course you did. Because you're really smart.
You must really take your fiction seriously Mr. Hack. Because when I, David, called your media people to get information on your plans to bring in scabs should a Southern California strike happen, I was told that this was only an "unsubstantiated rumor"
So, when The Drugmonkey wrote that any scabs that come out here deserve to have their ass kicked "so hard their rectum ends up in front of their incisors" you immediately swung into action. To protect an unsubstantiated rumor from a fictional character.
I can only hope that someday you'll treat real people as well.
Just to show there's no hard feelings though, I'll leave you with an entertaining little clip that I'm sure I won't have to explain to you.
Or will I?
Monday, August 13, 2012
Off With The Lab Coat And On With The Fedora. An Open Call For Evidence Of Scabbage And Good Pharmacy Preceptors.
So, for the moment, my job is as a writer. A journalist specifically. I think I'd look pretty good in one of those hats with a piece of paper marked "PRESS" tucked in the band.
And I kinda hope the moment lasts. It's fun to spar a little with corporate media relations folks. Friday I called Rite Aid's to see if I could get a take on their plans to bring in scabs should a Southern California strike go down. She bobbed and weaved, and said the policy is not to comment on "unsubstantiated rumors." I then asked her flat out if the company was going to bring in replacement workers and she said she would get back to me.
You have no idea how much I would like to call her back with evidence in hand. No idea.
So, my Rite Aid friends, talk to me some more. Did the company put any of their plans in writing? Is there a name of the person making calls rounding up people to head out west? Tell me what you know and I assure you no one ever finds out where I got my scoop. No piece of info is too small. Once we get some solid evidence of what they're doing we can take this story off the blogosphere and into the mainstream media, where people who deserve to know what's happening will see it.
On a lighter note, I've also been assigned a feature piece on pharmacy preceptors. If you've ever been or had one you know their importance to the profession. I still, to this day, surprise myself by parroting something said or done by my preceptor long ago. So, we're looking to explore the subject a little bit. How to become one, the ups and downs and challenges and rewards involved, and of course, any great stories. I know there are great stories out there. I had been behind a pharmacy counter a grand total of five minutes when I spilled a bottle of (very expensive) Capoten all over the floor. Had it not been for my preceptor calming me down, I might have gone down the career path of a grocery clerk.
Which would mean I'd have a steady job right now. Hm. I'll have to ponder that awhile. Reach me at drugmonkeyrph at gmail with your scoops or stories.
And I kinda hope the moment lasts. It's fun to spar a little with corporate media relations folks. Friday I called Rite Aid's to see if I could get a take on their plans to bring in scabs should a Southern California strike go down. She bobbed and weaved, and said the policy is not to comment on "unsubstantiated rumors." I then asked her flat out if the company was going to bring in replacement workers and she said she would get back to me.
You have no idea how much I would like to call her back with evidence in hand. No idea.
So, my Rite Aid friends, talk to me some more. Did the company put any of their plans in writing? Is there a name of the person making calls rounding up people to head out west? Tell me what you know and I assure you no one ever finds out where I got my scoop. No piece of info is too small. Once we get some solid evidence of what they're doing we can take this story off the blogosphere and into the mainstream media, where people who deserve to know what's happening will see it.
On a lighter note, I've also been assigned a feature piece on pharmacy preceptors. If you've ever been or had one you know their importance to the profession. I still, to this day, surprise myself by parroting something said or done by my preceptor long ago. So, we're looking to explore the subject a little bit. How to become one, the ups and downs and challenges and rewards involved, and of course, any great stories. I know there are great stories out there. I had been behind a pharmacy counter a grand total of five minutes when I spilled a bottle of (very expensive) Capoten all over the floor. Had it not been for my preceptor calming me down, I might have gone down the career path of a grocery clerk.
Which would mean I'd have a steady job right now. Hm. I'll have to ponder that awhile. Reach me at drugmonkeyrph at gmail with your scoops or stories.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Tonight, The First In A New Series: Blog Posts That Somehow Did *Not* Get Me Fired.
Before I say anything, I have to tell you how touched and how honored I am by all your kind words. There have been times the heartfelt feelings so many have zapped my way these last few days have had me close to tears, and I can't thank you enough. I want to grab all your faces and plant a big kiss on all your foreheads. You my friends, inspire me.
So, if they thought I would shut up, they were very, very, wrong. The fight continues.
For those of you just tuning in, I'll let you know that Rite Aid and I parted ways last week because I said mean things about the scabs they are planning to bring to California should a looming strike actually go down. Specifically, that anyone who comes out here to break a strike that involves people who want things like the ability to get sick and not go bankrupt should have their ass kicked.
In light of how sensitive they were on this subject, I thought it might be interesting to look back and see some of the things the company was apparently OK with. Through the magic time machine we go to a post originally published on July 21st, 2007:
Mary Sammons, Pharmacy MILF.
I have never thought it fair that women receive the vast majority of sexual harassment opportunities. For years I have seethed with jealousy as the attractive women around me get chance after chance to to enter the world of higher pay, cushy assignments, and all expense paid travel and meals while I am stuck working for a living. I have prayed and hoped and dreamed of the day the executive glass ceiling would be shattered so that I too could have my share of uncomfortable swats on the ass and porn "accidentally" left on the office computer. It's my human right to be harassed.
Well things may be looking up in my industry. Meet Mary Sammons, CEO of #3 Drug retailer Rite Aid:
Mary may not be getting invitations to the Playboy Mansion, but when compared to the type of person we usually find at the helm of Fortune 500 corporations, I think you'll agree she's smokin.' Here's a picture of Lee Raymond, the former CEO of Exxon:
Lee was recently given a retirement package worth $400 million. Perhaps because everyone else at the company couldn't stand to look at him anymore.
In Mary's case though, the Drugmonkey could easily find himself caught in the web of power, money and luxury that someone in her position could weave. And she is a titan of the industry that employs me. I could see it now..............
(fade into dream sequence here.)
The Drugmonkey is in the middle of just another average day in his new job, simultaneously on hold with a doctors office, another drugstore and the help desk of Blue Cross of Lower Damnation. The line at the counter is 5 deep, and the fax machine is working non stop. In walks an elegant older woman in a business suit right past the chaos....she stands uncomfortably close to the Drugmonkey.
"Hello Drugmonkey. I just wanted to stop by to tell you how glad we are to have you on board, and to tell you about our...... bonus....... program" She touches the Drugmonkey a tad inappropriately. "You like bonuses don't you Drugmonkey? Do you have a minute?"
Drugmonkey: "Um, actually, I don't, take a look out there at your store."
"I see, well, I'll make a few phone calls while you make me some money."
Lunatic Customer: HOW MUCH LONGER?????????
Sammons, speaking with an air of authority into her PDA/Cellphone/MP3 player/Space Shuttle: "Johnson? Sammons. Giving a green light to the pharmacy staff cuts you outlined in your memo. A 10% increase in prescriptions filled per person will be our goal."
Customer Number 2: ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PUT SOME PILLS IN A BOTTLE!!!!!
Sammons: "AT&T? I need to order 5 more phone lines to be put in each of my stores"
Sammons then slowly saunters back to the Drugmonkey and whispers in his ear........"I can see you're busy....when you're free, I'm in room 869 of the Ritz-Carlton.....remember....with me.... it's personal."
Customer Number 3: WHERE IS THE MOTOR OIL? HHHEEELLLOOOOOO....CAN I GET SOME SERVICE?
Drugmonkey: "Ms. Sammons, don't think I'm not picking up on the signals you're sending, but can't you see that your policies are precisely the reason we will never make sweet love? I don't have time to urinate when I'm working for you, and holding it in for 12 hours can't be good for penile health. And by the time I'm free Ms. Sammons, the only use I will have for a bed will be for sleeping...."
Sammons looks at the Drugmonkey with a mixture of sadness and confusion.
"Mary, if you ever want some Drugmonkey lovin' you're gonna have to make some changes. I'll never be able to do nooners unless I get a lunch break."
Mary's eyes lock onto the Drugmonkey's for what seems like an eternity. Her cellphone rings and it goes unanswered. Softly, she says:
"I'll do it. Mary Sammons always gets what she wants, and I want you Drugmonkey."
My friends, the power of my raw animalistic sexual attractiveness may be just the thing that saves what is left of our profession. I owe it to you to apply for a position at Rite Aid soon. Wish me luck.
______________________________________
I gotta come clean here. I was already working for Rite Aid when I wrote that, and things didn't quite work out the way I had envisioned. I took a bold gamble hoping to win the heart of Mary Sammons, and while the silence from the pharmacy MILF who had just engineered the deal that would cripple the company with a $6.4 billion debt was a little heartbreaking, I did learn that evidently it was kosher to broadcast sexually suggestive remarks about my boss to the world.
Perhaps because she was secretly hot for me. We'll probably never know.
By the way, let me just say that any scabs that come out here to break a strike deserve to have their ass kicked. I believe the line was "so hard their rectum ends up past their incisors"
Ha ha. The result of firing me for saying that once is that I said it twice. Making their actions about as effective here as their Brooks Eckerd deal was profitable.
As time went on though, I learned the company was cool with all sorts of things you could say about them. Stay tuned my friends......
So, if they thought I would shut up, they were very, very, wrong. The fight continues.
For those of you just tuning in, I'll let you know that Rite Aid and I parted ways last week because I said mean things about the scabs they are planning to bring to California should a looming strike actually go down. Specifically, that anyone who comes out here to break a strike that involves people who want things like the ability to get sick and not go bankrupt should have their ass kicked.
In light of how sensitive they were on this subject, I thought it might be interesting to look back and see some of the things the company was apparently OK with. Through the magic time machine we go to a post originally published on July 21st, 2007:
Mary Sammons, Pharmacy MILF.
I have never thought it fair that women receive the vast majority of sexual harassment opportunities. For years I have seethed with jealousy as the attractive women around me get chance after chance to to enter the world of higher pay, cushy assignments, and all expense paid travel and meals while I am stuck working for a living. I have prayed and hoped and dreamed of the day the executive glass ceiling would be shattered so that I too could have my share of uncomfortable swats on the ass and porn "accidentally" left on the office computer. It's my human right to be harassed.
Well things may be looking up in my industry. Meet Mary Sammons, CEO of #3 Drug retailer Rite Aid:
Mary may not be getting invitations to the Playboy Mansion, but when compared to the type of person we usually find at the helm of Fortune 500 corporations, I think you'll agree she's smokin.' Here's a picture of Lee Raymond, the former CEO of Exxon:
Lee was recently given a retirement package worth $400 million. Perhaps because everyone else at the company couldn't stand to look at him anymore.In Mary's case though, the Drugmonkey could easily find himself caught in the web of power, money and luxury that someone in her position could weave. And she is a titan of the industry that employs me. I could see it now..............
(fade into dream sequence here.)
The Drugmonkey is in the middle of just another average day in his new job, simultaneously on hold with a doctors office, another drugstore and the help desk of Blue Cross of Lower Damnation. The line at the counter is 5 deep, and the fax machine is working non stop. In walks an elegant older woman in a business suit right past the chaos....she stands uncomfortably close to the Drugmonkey.
"Hello Drugmonkey. I just wanted to stop by to tell you how glad we are to have you on board, and to tell you about our...... bonus....... program" She touches the Drugmonkey a tad inappropriately. "You like bonuses don't you Drugmonkey? Do you have a minute?"
Drugmonkey: "Um, actually, I don't, take a look out there at your store."
"I see, well, I'll make a few phone calls while you make me some money."
Lunatic Customer: HOW MUCH LONGER?????????
Sammons, speaking with an air of authority into her PDA/Cellphone/MP3 player/Space Shuttle: "Johnson? Sammons. Giving a green light to the pharmacy staff cuts you outlined in your memo. A 10% increase in prescriptions filled per person will be our goal."
Customer Number 2: ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PUT SOME PILLS IN A BOTTLE!!!!!
Sammons: "AT&T? I need to order 5 more phone lines to be put in each of my stores"
Sammons then slowly saunters back to the Drugmonkey and whispers in his ear........"I can see you're busy....when you're free, I'm in room 869 of the Ritz-Carlton.....remember....with me.... it's personal."
Customer Number 3: WHERE IS THE MOTOR OIL? HHHEEELLLOOOOOO....CAN I GET SOME SERVICE?
Drugmonkey: "Ms. Sammons, don't think I'm not picking up on the signals you're sending, but can't you see that your policies are precisely the reason we will never make sweet love? I don't have time to urinate when I'm working for you, and holding it in for 12 hours can't be good for penile health. And by the time I'm free Ms. Sammons, the only use I will have for a bed will be for sleeping...."
Sammons looks at the Drugmonkey with a mixture of sadness and confusion.
"Mary, if you ever want some Drugmonkey lovin' you're gonna have to make some changes. I'll never be able to do nooners unless I get a lunch break."
Mary's eyes lock onto the Drugmonkey's for what seems like an eternity. Her cellphone rings and it goes unanswered. Softly, she says:
"I'll do it. Mary Sammons always gets what she wants, and I want you Drugmonkey."
My friends, the power of my raw animalistic sexual attractiveness may be just the thing that saves what is left of our profession. I owe it to you to apply for a position at Rite Aid soon. Wish me luck.
______________________________________
I gotta come clean here. I was already working for Rite Aid when I wrote that, and things didn't quite work out the way I had envisioned. I took a bold gamble hoping to win the heart of Mary Sammons, and while the silence from the pharmacy MILF who had just engineered the deal that would cripple the company with a $6.4 billion debt was a little heartbreaking, I did learn that evidently it was kosher to broadcast sexually suggestive remarks about my boss to the world.
Perhaps because she was secretly hot for me. We'll probably never know.
By the way, let me just say that any scabs that come out here to break a strike deserve to have their ass kicked. I believe the line was "so hard their rectum ends up past their incisors"
Ha ha. The result of firing me for saying that once is that I said it twice. Making their actions about as effective here as their Brooks Eckerd deal was profitable.
As time went on though, I learned the company was cool with all sorts of things you could say about them. Stay tuned my friends......
Thursday, August 09, 2012
From This Day Forward, I Will Practice Pharmacy.
"OK this is important" I told my friend. "Make sure the doctor knows she's in pain, and that the problem isn't itching"
The person in pain was my dear friend's mother. She suffers from Alzheimer's disease you see. I've seen her ask for her daughter, my dear friend, while her daughter was three feet in front of her. She's called me a dentist, a lawyer, the name of a family friend, and tonight asked me four times in an hour when I would be moving. I have no plans to move.
Mom is also a wonderful woman with a smile that will melt your heart and a heart of gold.
This night though, mom was battling a painful bout of hemorrhoids, suffering and making a hard job a little harder for her daughter.
Her daughter, you see, has put her life on hold to be her full time caregiver. If you've never known love you probably won't understand why.
The problem with an Alzheimer's patient in pain is that it's more than pain. The stress leads to more confusion, more anxiety, more feelings of fright. Imagine being in pain and not being quite sure why.
I was sure that once the pain part was made clear, a prescription for hydrocortisone and lidocaine would be on the way. Or at least pramoxine. Nope. When the prescription was picked up it was for 2.5% hydrocortisone only. For those of you playing along at home, hydrocortisone treats itching, and lidocaine and pramoxine are the pain relievers. To top it off, there wasn't even a rectal applicator. Holy fuckup Batman.
I swung into action. "OK, until we can get this straightened out, what you need is the green label Preparation H. Everyone knows the blue label, but the green is the one with the pain reliever"
Later that night I got a report that the green label had done the trick and things had stabilized. I did a little dance and chanted "who's the drugmaster/who's the drugmaster/who's the drugmaster/ me me me." Because that, my friends, is practicing pharmacy. You spend your time using the drug facts that are in your head to help a person. Simple concept really, but one that seems to have been lost somewhere along the way. An actual pharmacy these days can be the worst place to get some pharmacy practice in. I relished my little triumph, all the more so because the Drugmonkey doesn't mind playing on team love.
By the way, there's really no reason anymore not to let you know my real name's David. Not after today.
The next morning I braced myself for a day of business, not practice. Labels that were not to be printed more than five at a time. That's the priority in a pharmacy. And those labels better not take more than 15 minutes to get to the filled bin, people with drug problems or questions be dammed. Flu shot quotas and no such pressure that you perform legally mandated prescription counselling. No money in counselling you see, just fewer prescription mistakes and misunderstandings. I took a deep breath and resigned myself that there would be little professional practicing going on within these walls this day. The modern chain pharmacy long ago stopped being about professional practice.
What happened was that I was met shortly after arrival by two corporate suits. Those of you who've read my little blog garden over the last few years won't be totally surprised what happened.
What amazes me is that it wasn't this post that got me fired. Broadcast to the world that Rite Aid ordered a pharmacist to feed an old woman's drug addiction and they're OK with that evidently. Write something mean about the fact they're recruiting scabs to help break a Southern California strike though, and you are history.
It's probably not normal to feel pity for the people that are firing you, but I gotta tell you, that's the first thing that went through my mind. I looked at the short little fat man in the suit and saw a life wasted. I saw a mother that would be packed away into a nursing home. I saw someone past the halfway point in his life and wondered if there was anything he's done that he's proud of. I wondered if he's ever done anything that made him feel good inside.
I'm proud of my writing, and I feel good when I practice pharmacy and score for team knowledge while helping people. He introduced himself as the corporate head of loss prevention by the way. I think I should be flattered by that.
After the pity for the suit though, came emotions more normal. Relief, yes. But also a "holy shit" moment. Thoughts of lost fat paychecks....and...while staring out the window...
....the creeping in of the storm. My brothers in Wellbutrin know exactly what I mean. The storm is no fun and I shouldn't admit that because it will give the short suit man something to be proud of.
Later the phone rang.
"David, it's Mom. What a day I've had dealing with these moron doctors." The moron doctors, you see, never did correct their fuckup. Green label Preparation H and some Desitin cream were the only things that had done anything to help. "I wonder if you could come over, we'd love to see you."
Mom's voice was IV Prozac my friends. No storm for me this night. I bought some groceries for dinner and got a hug from my dear friend and felt appreciated in a way I never did when all I was doing was making money for the man. I cried happy tears because team love values me.
I don't know everything the future holds for me, but I do know this. From now on I will practice pharmacy. Perhaps I will even be paid for it. For the rest of my life though, I will be a pharmacist.
You should too. Because hugs from team love are fucking awesome.
The person in pain was my dear friend's mother. She suffers from Alzheimer's disease you see. I've seen her ask for her daughter, my dear friend, while her daughter was three feet in front of her. She's called me a dentist, a lawyer, the name of a family friend, and tonight asked me four times in an hour when I would be moving. I have no plans to move.
Mom is also a wonderful woman with a smile that will melt your heart and a heart of gold.
This night though, mom was battling a painful bout of hemorrhoids, suffering and making a hard job a little harder for her daughter.
Her daughter, you see, has put her life on hold to be her full time caregiver. If you've never known love you probably won't understand why.
The problem with an Alzheimer's patient in pain is that it's more than pain. The stress leads to more confusion, more anxiety, more feelings of fright. Imagine being in pain and not being quite sure why.
I was sure that once the pain part was made clear, a prescription for hydrocortisone and lidocaine would be on the way. Or at least pramoxine. Nope. When the prescription was picked up it was for 2.5% hydrocortisone only. For those of you playing along at home, hydrocortisone treats itching, and lidocaine and pramoxine are the pain relievers. To top it off, there wasn't even a rectal applicator. Holy fuckup Batman.
I swung into action. "OK, until we can get this straightened out, what you need is the green label Preparation H. Everyone knows the blue label, but the green is the one with the pain reliever"
Later that night I got a report that the green label had done the trick and things had stabilized. I did a little dance and chanted "who's the drugmaster/who's the drugmaster/who's the drugmaster/ me me me." Because that, my friends, is practicing pharmacy. You spend your time using the drug facts that are in your head to help a person. Simple concept really, but one that seems to have been lost somewhere along the way. An actual pharmacy these days can be the worst place to get some pharmacy practice in. I relished my little triumph, all the more so because the Drugmonkey doesn't mind playing on team love.
By the way, there's really no reason anymore not to let you know my real name's David. Not after today.
The next morning I braced myself for a day of business, not practice. Labels that were not to be printed more than five at a time. That's the priority in a pharmacy. And those labels better not take more than 15 minutes to get to the filled bin, people with drug problems or questions be dammed. Flu shot quotas and no such pressure that you perform legally mandated prescription counselling. No money in counselling you see, just fewer prescription mistakes and misunderstandings. I took a deep breath and resigned myself that there would be little professional practicing going on within these walls this day. The modern chain pharmacy long ago stopped being about professional practice.
What happened was that I was met shortly after arrival by two corporate suits. Those of you who've read my little blog garden over the last few years won't be totally surprised what happened.
What amazes me is that it wasn't this post that got me fired. Broadcast to the world that Rite Aid ordered a pharmacist to feed an old woman's drug addiction and they're OK with that evidently. Write something mean about the fact they're recruiting scabs to help break a Southern California strike though, and you are history.
It's probably not normal to feel pity for the people that are firing you, but I gotta tell you, that's the first thing that went through my mind. I looked at the short little fat man in the suit and saw a life wasted. I saw a mother that would be packed away into a nursing home. I saw someone past the halfway point in his life and wondered if there was anything he's done that he's proud of. I wondered if he's ever done anything that made him feel good inside.
I'm proud of my writing, and I feel good when I practice pharmacy and score for team knowledge while helping people. He introduced himself as the corporate head of loss prevention by the way. I think I should be flattered by that.
After the pity for the suit though, came emotions more normal. Relief, yes. But also a "holy shit" moment. Thoughts of lost fat paychecks....and...while staring out the window...
....the creeping in of the storm. My brothers in Wellbutrin know exactly what I mean. The storm is no fun and I shouldn't admit that because it will give the short suit man something to be proud of.
Later the phone rang.
"David, it's Mom. What a day I've had dealing with these moron doctors." The moron doctors, you see, never did correct their fuckup. Green label Preparation H and some Desitin cream were the only things that had done anything to help. "I wonder if you could come over, we'd love to see you."
Mom's voice was IV Prozac my friends. No storm for me this night. I bought some groceries for dinner and got a hug from my dear friend and felt appreciated in a way I never did when all I was doing was making money for the man. I cried happy tears because team love values me.
I don't know everything the future holds for me, but I do know this. From now on I will practice pharmacy. Perhaps I will even be paid for it. For the rest of my life though, I will be a pharmacist.
You should too. Because hugs from team love are fucking awesome.
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