Wednesday, April 18, 2007

An Ode To Nuprin. We Hardly Knew Ye.

It all started with a request from one of my favorite customers. Yes I have favorite customers, some of which are not even hot women. "Can you help me find the Nuprin?" Said the woman, who may or may not have been hot.

It was a slow part of the day, only three of the six phone lines being lit up, so I decided to take a look. The name "Nuprin" flooded my brain with happy memories, like an old friend you haven't heard from in years. I soon found out why the old friend had gone silent. There was no Nuprin.

"This can't be happening, surely I'm just overlooking the Nuprin" I thought as I scanned, rescanned, and double scanned every last inch of the analgesic aisle.

You could say that Nuprin was responsible for me becoming a pharmacist. I remember as a young DrugMonkey the sense of awe and wonderment I felt knowing that one of the magical preparations kept in that mysterious world behind the counter was now available to me. I wanted to learn all I could about this new pain reliever.

It was little.

It was yellow.

It was different.

It was ibuprofen, and in 1984, Nuprin, along with it's partner Advil, took the pain relieving world by storm. I became drunk on the taste of drug knowledge learning about Nuprin had given me, and I soon applied to pharmacy school, starting me on the path to where I am today. So really, considering where I am today, you could say that Nuprin ruined my life. I don't blame it though. All Nuprin wanted to do was ease the world's pain just a little bit.

But now it was gone without a trace, and I didn't even notice it's passing. A frantic search of other retailer's pain relieving sections turned up only one empty slot where Nuprin should have been. Advil has gone on to bigger and better things, caplets, geltabs, a suspension even, and piece of shit over the counter meds like Milk of Magnesia and Epsom salts continue to thrive, but it would seem Nuprin is on it's last legs.

What the fuck is up with Epsom Salts anyway? Great cutting edge medicine you got there in the Epsom salts. Cutting edge from the Civil War. Dammit it's not fair!!! I could have done more. I should have done more.......for the Nuprin. Take your Milk of Magnesia and shove it up your ass.

Actually, don't. Neither one of us would be happy with the result.

Times may be tough Nuprin, but i know you're a fighter from the way you've taken on my toughest pain in the past. That empty slot I found tells me you're not completely gone. That empty slot represents hope. The hope of a young drugmonkey that thought pharmacy might be a good way to earn a living. Hope that is empty, but not completely written off.

Fuck Advil.

20 comments:

Stratosis said...

Hate to break this to you, Drugmonkey, but CVS now owns Nuprin. They are the only store who sells your beloved old friend...

[enter 'I hate corpo-pharmacy rant here']

philskaren said...

Did you try to order it?

Order as much as you can get your hands on and if your boss or store manager questions you, respond, "If the Nuprin goes, I go too." Ha!

Awesome Mom said...

Epsom salts are used in gardening which may account for them still being around.

Mc RPh said...

I actually got into a three minute 'argument' from a lady about the use of epsom salt as a laxative vs. magnesium citrate. She insisted on using the epsom salt (probably because that's what she found first). Obviously I lobbied for the latter. She simply wouldn't believe me. Fine, honey. It's not like I don't have 10 hours worth of work to do. And apparently, you desire the same workload. Enjoy your evening of shit cramps. Fuck off, and don't bother a pharmacist next time you want to invoke your hillbilly wisdom in lieu of actual science. You probably believe in creationism too. Go away.

Anonymous said...

Nuprin went OTC in the U.S. first, and while living in Toronto I picked up a magical bottle on a shopping trip to Buffalo. Thanks for the memories, DrugMonkey.

RioIriri said...

I went to CVS today and saw Nuprin brand stick-on pain patches. I thought of you.

Tim said...

Yes, Nuprin is now a proprietary brand of CVS, and I am sad to report that they are no longer little, yellow and different.

Well, they're still sort of little, but there definitely not yellow, which doesn't make them very different. Bastards.

Carmen Sandiego said...

Happy Earth Day DrugMonkey! Coco too!

Anonymous said...

Nuprin brand stick-on pain patches?? Holy crap, my wish for OTC fentanyl came true!! *drools*

Anonymous said...

The Nuprin brand was bought by a company that buys dead brands and re-sells them.

Read all about it in the NYT magazine:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/18/magazine/18rebranding-t.html?ref=magazine

Anonymous said...

Epsom Salt is used for Floatation Tanks too. So it's gonna be around for a LONG time. Definitely wouldn't wanna be the idiot that swallows it though....

WNES said...

I just did a search for Nuprin and found your post of more than 2 years ago. It's great and I enjoyed it so much I'm re-posting it on my blog with credit to you and a link back to your original blog. If you would like for me to remove it just let me know and it's done.
-wnes

WNES said...

Here's a link to my re-post: http://wnes.tumblr.com/post/225382747

AngryPharmacyTech said...

Nuprin is available in Canada at a large pharmacy chain! Nuprin is just a cheap brand now that makes Ibuprofen, Acetaminophen and ASA.

charles said...

nuprin is now owned by scolr pharma symbol amex:DDD they gona bring it back with a new CDT technology

Anonymous said...

nuprin.com goes to cvs.com

Epsom Salt is for soaking your feet! This is the first I heard of anyone actually swallowing the stuff.

Anonymous said...

The Epsom Salts, the old woman, her comparison to another laxative, ergo the term: "It went through faster than a dose of salts through an old widow woman".

Anonymous said...

Epson salts is also used as a soak both for open cuts and for muscle strains I agree I wouldn't swallow it

Anonymous said...

I had toenail ablasion and they make you soak your feet in epsom salts twice a day for two weeks. And let me tell you, it is heaven!

Anonymous said...

http://www.nuprin.com/index.html

This website says Nuprin is coming back August 2015. It's also under a different pharmaceutical company name.