Especially since there really isn't any weather in California. It gets a little warmer, it gets a little cooler, sometimes it rains. Almost every night at work though, I got a report that "It's a little cool out there." At first I admit I found it annoying. I find almost everyone annoying. Night after night though, the little old man in the 1930's style cap shuffling around the shopping center to get his exercise wore me down. He knew the way to get to me was to give me an opportunity to bitch about work.
"Looks like you're awful busy, but at least you got an inside job. It's a little cool out there tonight."
I think the first words I might have said to him were "You got the busy part right" He took that little crack in the drugmonkey toughguy act and used it to drive a wedge through my whole wall against the outside world. The chats gradually got a little longer. One time I saw him coming up the aisle with a big old smile on his face. He opened up his outer coat to show me his original letter jacket from high school. I admit he looked so cute I just burst out laughing. It was a little cool out that night.
I learned he was in his 90's
He was born in the town where I work and had lived there his whole life.
He used to run track. That's where the letter jacket came from.
I never saw him with anyone else.
I never saw him get a prescription.
I never knew his name.
And tonight I realized I haven't seen him in a few days. Crap. It doesn't take my Mensa card to figure out what's happened. That jacket is most likely headed to one of the thrift shops on the other side of town. And no matter what I do in the next 40 years or so, I will end up in the exact same place. I'm not saying I'll end up in the thrift shop. That'd be kinda gross. You know what I mean. Ashes to ashes.
So why am I gonna schlep off to the pillbox of sweat tomorrow like a good little boy? Why don't I just stay up all night jamming tunes too loud, pack up my car and head to the Grand Canyon in the morning? I'd like to see the Grand Canyon. You know I've never smoked weed? Seriously, not once. Why not? Am I afraid of some father of the skies keeping a ledger on my life's rights and wrongs? Um, no. I'm an atheist. So why exactly don't I just empty out my bank account on a few high class hookers and a couple laps around the world? Why get close to anyone at all? You'll still end up just as alone. The same pile of ashes. I would be better off tonight if I had just growled at that old man the first time I saw him.
Other than AIDS. That would be a good reason to avoid the escorts, but I think you get my point.
It's not as cool tonight as it usually is.
10 comments:
You really must let us know if the little old man comes back! If you are going to be soft at least be thorough.
Kay
In the past year, I think I've lost five patients (that I know about). It's always heartbreaking to know that someone that's been in your life so much is gone.
I hope your "visitor" is alright; maybe he just went on a trip or something.
-Andrew, CPhT
Californian's are the biggest pussies when it comes to weather. The other day my friend and I were headed to school and on my car dash it said it was 58 degrees outside. I did a dramatic shiver and my friend and I commenced to lament the fact that capri pants were out today. The last time I saw snow was in July in the sierra foothills at about 9000 feet. And it certainly wasnt cold, it has just been a plentiful winter.
I am sure you could get laid if you wanted to. Buy a college girl a nice dinner, she will be yours. 18 year olds are that way. All of their contemporaries are poor and you have money to buy dinner... open my pants now... that is what they are saying.
And really if your job isnt meaningful, there are phamarcy jobs that are. I dont know if you need to see the grand canyon, but for me I need to love my work, I need passion for it.
You sound a little down, DrugMonkey. I study my older customers and admire the ones who carry on with grace and dignity. I realize I'm going to become more invisible the older I get, too. You made a little connection and that's important. It's worth something. (I've never smoked weed either.)
Uhm, well, because sometimes other people don't suck? (get your mind out of the gutter.) Becasue it might be more fun to take off to Arizona with someone? Cause life is a race you don't want to win- really- you don't want to get to the finish line first. Also- all the weed seems to be sold by actual drug dealers now. No more gentle hippies with hydroponic kits.
sometimes you are such a softy that it is scary drug monkey!!!!!
Parce-qu'il faut trouver et tenir la beauté quand nous pouvons et donc nous sommes reconnaissants de douleur et les leçons qui arrivent. Parce-que tomber dans les bras de quelqun(e) après la journée est comme une petite pièce du ciel. L'âme est née toute seule, et part de la terre toute seule, mais quand elle réspire, c'est bien pour la partager de temps en temps- longue ou corte. C'est comment nous étions construit. Être.
You can love you work without liking it. The little things are what make it bearable. It's sad when you notice that something (or someone) is not around anymore and it just slipped right past you.
It's nice to read your human side. Did the old guy ever come back??
"I am sure you could get laid if you wanted to. Buy a college girl a nice dinner, she will be yours. 18 year olds are that way. All of their contemporaries are poor and you have money to buy dinner... open my pants now... that is what they are saying."
Hahaah I really like reading your older entries.
I've never smoked up either.
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