Apropos Of Nothing, A Short Random Review Of The New Rolling Stones Single

In 1999, 68-year-old country music icon George Jones released Choices, a ballad of a man looking backwards over his life, coming to terms with years of alcohol and turmoil, and perhaps finding some peace. I'm not particularly a country music fan, but I've always loved that song. It seemed to me to be the essence of old age, taking stock of your life and using your memories to improve the time you have left. 

When I saw the Rolling Stones had titled their latest single Angry, I wondered if we might get a Rock and Roll equivalent from the band's remnants, two men who turn 80 years old this year and one who is 75. Perhaps a reflection on the angry youth who wrote of things such as slave ships, underage sex, and sliding a knife right down your throat. Lord knows there was more than enough anger to go around in the 60s, when this band was on top of the world, and The Rolling Stones both reflected and created their fair share of it.

Based on the last 40 years of Rolling Stones material, I should have known better. This song continues the "Why are we bothering to do this?" vibe that started with 1983's Undercover. It's competent, workmanlike, but forced, and completely unnecessary, sprung from the same well of innovation as a factory worker who has to get up and turn a screw for eight hours.

The 60s are long gone, and along with them went this band's insight, originality, and creative hunger. Mick Jagger still has his unique frontman voice, and Keith Richards can still stum a mean guitar lick. After all, there is a certain amount of talent that comes from performing for close to 60 years, but this song not only fails to be a worthy successor to Sticky Fingers or Let It Bleed, but were it from a new act, it would be at best a mediocrity soon forgotten. It doesn't help that the song is being promoted with one of the most unconvincing video performances in music history, a piece of eye candy, supposedly a fan, who is roughly half the age of the Stone's last decent album. 

The Rolling Stones had one of the greatest winning streaks in Rock and Roll history. From Beggars Banquet through Exile On Main Street, no one did it better, and probably no one ever will. Enjoy the memories of that time that are in your music collection, cherish that music the way it deserves, play it until you wear out the vinyl or degrade the digital code that carries it. But forget Angry. It's not even an echo of their past greatness. It is simply a day at work. 

Here it is, if you insist:

The Big Empty

 I remember, when I was working, something I would call "The Big Empty." It came every other Friday, on the eve of a three day weekend. Because of the schedule that was worked out between myself and the manager, Fridays were always 12 hour days in the happy little pill room, marathons of medicating the masses, sedating the anxious, killing the pathogens of the infected, but mostly, just dealing with the first world problems of entitled assholes. Chaotic, short-staffed festivals of disorder, noise, and occasional medicine oriented activities. There were days when it was non-stop from the time you put the key in the lock to start the day until you slammed the gate in someone's face to end it. I don't miss it

Another feature of our schedule was that we only worked every other weekend, and if it was your lucky weekend, you had the added bonus of Monday off. Which means that after 12 hours of constant energy, you would slam that gate down at the end of the day to...nothing. No phone calls, no customers, no irritating assistant managers, nothing at all, and every other week this emotional whiplash lasted for three days. I have no kids, no family close by, no one I really wanted to spend time with, so for 72 hours I would basically have no reason to exist. 

The Big Empty. 

For those of you who don't know, I'm retired now, having sold my store to Rite Aid. I haven't filled a prescription in six months or rung up a sale in four, and let me tell you, I had no idea what The Big Empty was. What is retirement? It's nothing. No work clothes, no customers, no timeclock, no time really, no real reason to get out of bed in the morning. I know, boo-hoo cry me a river my retail pharmacy peeps are saying. "I just got my tech hours cut and my flu shot quota raised AGAIN. I don't wanna hear it."

I get it, and there's no way in hell I'd want to go back into your world. But, I'm gonna have to find more meaning in life than watering the garden every morning or wearing a path between my front door and the local library. I've probably read over 30 books since I've stopped working. 

The librarian knows me by name. 

A library is also more than books you know. There's also movies. Any movie that pops into your head, they'll go find it for you and let you take it home. Suck it Netflix. 

"Find a hobby" you'll say, and I could tell you all about my ham radio adventures. I'm sending out the radio waves up and down and east and west. I have contact with over 115 countries now. If only I was as worldly as my radio waves. 

So I'm reading like a banshee, watching more films than Roger Ebert in his prime, radioing around the world, spending time with a wife I adore, and taking occasional hikes in the mountains. Sounds pretty sweet now that I look at it. But there's no reason to do any of it. I'm thinking of dusting off my bass guitar, but there won't be any purpose in that either. 

Let's be honest, I'm just marking time until I die, and when I do, there's a good chance there won't be a person on this planet who will notice. I've gone from a job I couldn't stand to...

The Big Empty. 

I wasn't ready for it. I don't know how to get ready for it.

Anyway, that's how I'm doing for those of you that care.