Monday, July 21, 2008

You Wanna Know Why I Get Paid So Goddamned Much? I'll Tell You Why I Get Paid So Goddamned Much

"Yes, I'm calling to get a refill of my blood pressure medicine." I could have just done what the woman wanted and filled her blood pressure medicine. One more prescription to get credit for and one more sale in the cash register. That's what I'm here for you know, just to put pills in a bottle.

Instead my super-spidey pharmacy sense kicked in.

"Well, I see we haven't filled these for you since October, has everything been going alright with your medicine?"

"Oh yes, it seems to work just fine, it's just that I don't need it that often"

Yes. This was definitely going to be a case for super-pharmacist.

"Hmmmmmm......well, blood pressure is usually a type of condition that's treated all the time....."

One of the reasons I make so damn much is because I know stuff like that.

"Well sometimes it gets up over 150 you know. And I'm scared I'm gonna have a stroke or something."

"I see, well do you have a blood pressure machine at home?"

I will point out again, I could have just filled her pills. That's all she was looking for. If I had just put some pills in a bottle I would have had a happy customer.

"Uh-huh. I usually measure it once a week or so, and most of the time it's OK, but sometimes it gets up to 150 or so."

"Well it's normal for a person's blood pressure to go up and down over the course of a day. The problem is when it goes up and stays up"

"Really?"

I'll also point out, that I was putting other people's pills in their bottles the entire time this conversation was going on.

"Oh sure, your doctor probably told you something like that when he wrote the prescription." I needed to find out where the hell the doctor was in this mess.

"He said he wasn't sure if I was gonna need 'em or not, but honey, he went over everything so fast, I can't remember half of what he said." So now I knew. The doctor's role here was similar to that of a sperm-chucking father, in that he started the process and then was nowhere to be found the next time he was needed. I was on my own here. So was she. That's why I now became a honey.

"I tell you what."

"OK...." I could hear the happy anticipation in her voice that someone in a white coat was actually going to give helpful guidance. I could have told her to hop up and down on one foot and cluck like a chicken at that point and she happily would have.

"Take your blood pressure a couple times a day here for the next few days. Mix it up.....sometimes in the morning, afternoon, sometimes in the evening, after eating, before eating, you get the idea, right?"

"Oh sure"

"Keep track of it in a notebook or something, then call me back in a few days and we'll figure out what to do about these high blood pressure pills"

She called me back today and has better blood pressure readings than I do. That's why I make so goddamn much. Not because my blood pressure's higher than hers, but because I can figure out when it's best not to make a sale.

Now why mail-order pharmacists make so much I have no idea. All those fuckers do is put pills in a bottle.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

rock on!

Anonymous said...

You make me giddy

Anonymous said...

Sometimes it's a good thing they don't opt for the touch tone refill entry. It would have been a lot more difficult to notice the sperm-chucking doctor's negligence.

I just heard "Liar" on tv! You have educated me once again.

Anonymous said...

*swoon*

Anonymous said...

You were talking to this patient on the phone right? Do you know what I do all day as a mail order pharmacist? Talk to people on the phone! Except I sit a desk, have better reference materials, and I can go home sick, take a bathroom break, or go grab a cup of coffee anytime I want.

Cracked Pestle said...

You are indeed the baddest pharmacy badass. Who says you have to work in a hospital to be clinical? You rule, honey.

Lipstick said...

Way to go "honey"!

Christine said...

I have mad white coat syndrome. I'd definitely be on pills if my doctor went just by bps at the office, but I'm <120/80 the rest of the time.

Robin Fonner Andersen said...

right on!

Anonymous said...

I don't get the impression that the mail-out pharmacist does anything but check bottle contents, when I call to find out why the patient is on two different strengths of medications at the same time and I can't even get through to a pharmacist, stopped at the get-go by some uptilted snotty-voiced tech, who wants my NPI number. I don't get the impression that a mail-out pharmacist is anywhere around when I call to find out why the patient's medication hasn't arrived, and if I can get a copy of the latest order to give him a day or two until the MD office opens on a weekend. I have not the slightest impression that there is a caring pharmacist at the mail-out service, when I call to find out what antipsychotics are on the patient's prescription plan so that I can consult with the psychiatrist to provide a drug the patient can afford, and some arrogant tech somewhere three states over puts me on hold until the outfit closes for the day. Heavens, when I volunteered with the VA help desk, I was able to talk far more often with live patients than one of these 'mail-out' businesses who only live for the bottom line.

Anonymous said...

in my province we call 811 if we have a problem and the RNs talk to us about our bp or any other health issue and then if it is related to medication we talk to a pharmacist...any time night or day. It's great. That person who called u would have been referred to 811 at the pharmacy before calling back and it would have saved you the explanation and the time.....it's a great service we have here.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous: I assume you're from BC (Google implies 811 is also in the Maritimes) -- I tried this number a year or so ago when I had the most severe flu ever but would not call again unless it was an emergency -- they would not answer anything until they had a FULL history of my life -- and weren't that helpful. BUT I didn't know they had a pharmacist to talk to -- will keep that in mind since anyone at a pharmacy is too rushed.

Zach L said...

Excellent. You're a Jedi. Now, if only we could restructure medical reimbursements and compensation for health care professionals...

ezatieya said...

hey, i republished your post on my blog. hope you won't mind.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of one day prior to Medicare part D. I get a phone call from an elderly lady asking what Protonix is used for because she needs a refill. Since we are pre part D, Protonix is still only available as brand. I explain and she replies that she does not have any problems with acid reflux or heartburn. So I ask her why she was put on the medication and she said that she was put on it while she was in the hospital and I determine that it was probably used for prophylaxis while on corticosteroids. I told her she should contact her doctor to see if she still needs the medication. She calls me back and tells me that the doctor told her that she does not need to be on it any longer. I wonder how much money this poor woman spent on this medication that she did not need. What probably happened was that when she was released from the hospital we faxed her PCP for a refill and the PCP continued refilling it not bothering to check her records to she why she was taking it and that she was not even the initial prescriber. But in a situation like that I can't even begin to list the failures in our healthcare system.