Introducing the first proven and dependable veterinary medication for the management of canine obesity.
"medication for the management of canine obesity" means just what you think it does.
SLENTROL (dirlotapide) is a solution formulated at a concentration of 5 mg/mL of dirlotapide for oral administration of dogs. Dirlotapide is a selective microsomal triglyceride transfer protein inhibitor that blocks the assembly and release of lipoprotein particles into the bloodstream (via the lymphatic system) in dogs.
I'll point out here, rather rudely, that 2 to 3 million children die every year from acute diarrhea. In most cases you can make sure a person with severe diarrhea doesn't die at a cost of a few pennies. Let's go back to thinking about your fat dog now.
I managed not to score an interview with Jeffrey Kindler, CEO of Pfizer, the manufacturer of Slentrol. In it, he never described the ideal candidate for canine obesity treatment.
"A dog who's developed thumbs" Kindler didn't say. I asked him to explain in my imagination.
"Well, as you can imagine, once a dog grows an opposable thumb, there's nothing to stop them from being able to work a can opener or open the refrigerator at will. Free from dependence on humans to control their caloric intake, in almost all cases a thumbed dog will eat until its health is adversely affected."
"We were particularly excited about thumbed dogs with self-esteem issues that caused them to down quarts of Ben & Jerry's at a time" Kindler didn't add. "But it looks like those bastards at Lilly may have got to that market first."
"Do you really think there are enough dogs with thumbs out there for you to make a profit?" I never asked.
"Of course. The proof is in the tremendous level of pre-marketing interest in Slentrol we've seen from both veterinarians and dog owners. I mean, who else would buy it? For dogs without thumbs, all the owner would have to do is give the dog less food."
Somewhere in the two-thirds of this world that is ruled by poverty, a child just felt a pang, and realized something is wrong with her stomach. Ask your veterinarian if Slentrol is right for your dog.
14 comments:
While I really enjoyed the chuckle I got from this post, I do have to point out that dogs need not have thumbs to overeat. Case in point. My dog, when he was just 16 weeks old, figured out how to get out of his pen in the garage, climb up the stacked, locked, storage totes that the pet foods were in, up onto a shelf where a 5 pound bag of cat food sat. Unopened. He chewed a hole in it, then ate the entire 5 pounds of food. $200 in vet bills later, I was assured via Xray and the vet that ninja pup had not ruptured his gut or caused gastric torsion. This dog has the potential to become obese on his own, so I no longer keep spare bags of food anywhere he may climb to get...
But, even if he were fat, I wouldn't waste money on a diet drug for him - I'd just buy him a treadmill! Like I always tell humans who ask - "If skinny came in a pill, we'd all be thin!"
A friend of mine was house/dog sitting for a relative of hers and had to give the dog some weight loss drug. I'm not sure if this was it or not, but regardless, the dog was on diet drugs. From the sounds of things, it wasn't working. I dropped a crumb on the floor and that dog was at my feet in 2 seconds flat.
I've been working in an upper income area this summer. Don't get between the rich people and their pets. They probably spend more on their animals than many people make in a year. Fido must have brand name Valium for his poor frayed nerves. I've also dispensed laxatives and inhalers for cats. Heeere, kitty, kitty. Can you imagine trying to give an inhaler to a cat?!
Pharmacy psychic:
They have special masks that go over cats' and dogs' faces to help deliver inhaled medications to them. I agree that it would still be hard to get them to hold still and not hate you for it.
I was surprised one day while making conversation at the pharmacy with the owner of a diabetic cat who came in to pick up her cat's insulin. I told her I couldn't imagine getting my cats to sit still and get a shot. She said the cat actually knew when it was time for his shot and would come sit right by her and happily take it. It's like the cat knew that it needed the medicine.
This is clearly this week's sign of the apocalypse. Wow.
My dog is not fat, just big boned.
Dogs will indeed eat anything. An unscooped litter box is like a buffet for them.
My old Siamese-mix cat had to have insulin injections for a little over three years before he died. He could smell the insulin bottle come out of the fridge, and would exit stage left every time. He could also smell the gushy cat food I put down, and that is what would distract him while I did the deed. Not exactly willing, but he didn't put up much of a fight. If it were an IM gentamicin shot, that might be a different matter.
Our dogs are fat for the same reasons we are. Too much food, too little exercise. Get out and walk your fat dogs, people, and keep them the hell off my yard.
so.... this is it. this is the end. really.
when your sad little lonely life gets filled up with taking the dog to the vet and giving inhalers and injections and...and... FAT PILLS>
what happened to taking the dog for a walk?
I LOVE my pets - would do anything for them, including inhalers and insulin injections if needed. but I would definitely draw the line at diet pills....
My personal thought: if your animal is so sick that its prescription bill is more than your granny's, it's time to buy it a one way ticket to the farm in the sky.
And I love my cat, I just don't think giving it inhalers and insulin shots and diet pills is the right way to treat an animal.
Don't let the thumbed dog drink alcohol or operate heavy machinery!!
http://oddee.com/_media/imgs/articles/a94_w8.jpg
:)
I've worked at a vet hospital for 6 years, and I can confirm that at least 70-80% of pets that walk (or get dragged) through door are overweight. A good 25-30% are morbidly obese. I still struggle to wrap my head around the average owner's complete helplessness when it comes to getting their euthyroid fat dog to lose weight. You feed them less. That's it. Maybe even go for a walk every once in a while. Are they hungry? That's nice. Too bad. Have some green beans.
It is even more mind-boggling that an owner would PAY for an expensive medication (about $100/month) that they have to give every day (most can't manage a once-a-month heartworm pill) when they could SAVE money by, oh, say, not feeding so goddamn much.
are you effing kidding me, people? these are animals, not humans. try donating money to food banks instead of wasting it on dog diet pills...
There are some cats that should be on Weight Watchers, too.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/07302008/news/regionalnews/fat_cat_122221.htm
Diet pill for pets - that is ridiculous. But please, are you really expecting me to have my cat put down instead of giving him inhaler for his asthma? Whatever. He jumps on the bed, lies down, and purrs through the application. Believe me, he likes that much better than coughing his lungs out.
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