Friday, August 15, 2014

Why The Fucking Flexeril Isn't Covered Anymore.

More than a few of you have come across this situation by now I bet. In the midst of a chaotic, stressful workday you finally snag an easy one. Thirty flexeril. Yay. Two seconds and we'll have this one right out the.....

Then you see the insurance reject. Prior auth required. What. The. Fuck.

We've all come to expect this with the bullshit drugs of course. And the expensive meds  with cheap alternatives. I'm looking at you Lyrica. One of the missions of the insurance companies is to save money after all.

But Flexeril? Are you kidding me? The generic is cheap as dirt. So I repeat, what the fuck? "They must be doing this for no other reason than to get me to crack" you might be thinking. "They've decided they must make each and every prescription a herculean effort to get out the door. There is a war on my sanity. Because there can be no logical reason to slap a prior auth on a seven dollar med."

Oh but there is a reason my poor underinformed retail drone. Logical or not can be a matter for debate, but read on to find out  why that insurance company pain in your ass just got a little bigger.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that rejected Flexeril claim was for a Medicare Part D patient. I know this because while you, my poor pillcounter, are still stuck in that outdated world where insurance companies obsess about nothing but money 24/7, I have seen the future, that bright new paradigm where the health care powers that be now obsess But in completely new and innovative ways. Where an obsession with the dollar can lead to scrutiny of the most absurdly inexpensive of insurance claims.

It works like this. Someone got the bright idea that Medicare should do more than just sit there and pay claims sent in by the health care professional types. That since he who pays the bills can make the rules, they should use their bill-paying influence to try and influence quality of care. It was decided that Medicare would start to rate its Part D plans like AAA rates roadside motels, with a one to five star system.

So far this sounds OK, right? After all, who could argue with an effort to improve medical outcomes?

Next step involves how to go about being able to show how a large, paper-pushing, figure obsessed bureaucracy is improving things for the oldsters. How do we do that? We can't really just go around saying, " 'Ol Doc Johnson over there at Blue Cross of Lower Damnation does a pretty good job, Five stars for them!!" now can we? We need things to measure, so as we can compare like to like. Outcomes this year versus outcomes last year, Blue Cross versus Humana. In short, we need a way to generate numbers we can use in place of that unreliable human subjectivity.

I'll stop here the throw in the olive in the martini. Those star ratings are worth big bucks to the insurance companies, as Medicare pays bonuses to the highest rated plans.  It's estimated that the difference between a 3 star and 5 star rating is worth about $200 million to the plan getting rated.

That's right, the principle of using metrics to judge performance that has been such an unqualified success in making chain drugstores efficient customer service utopias has now been expanded to the realm of clinical judgement. In this case, Flexeril, the muscle relaxant that been part of the standard treatment plan for all sorts of painful conditions for longer than I have been alive, has been classified by some bureaucrat as a "high risk" medication for the oldsters. And a plan that goes over a 3% threshold of "high risk" meds is ineligible for a 5-star rating, and all the megabucks that goes with it.

So yeah, good luck getting them to approve that claim.

Except chances are, if you have a brain in your head and no desire to torture yourself, you won't even try. You'll notice that even if you moved heaven and earth and got that claim approved, the five dollar copay that would result isn't all that much less than you would normally charge a person with no insurance at all. As a matter of fact,  you could just say hell with the insurance company, charge the person five bucks,  make just a little less on the prescription than you would have anyway, and save yourself a hell of a lot of hassle.

It's a win win. And if grandpa gets a case of brain fog after popping a pill or two and falls down the stairs, it still goes down as a win for the insurance, as they don't have a claim for the "high risk" med on file, and therefore won't get dinged.

Meet the new health care order my friends. Where everyone wins, except the drugstore who made a little less on a prescription than they normally would have. And Medicare, who just paid out a big bonus that had zero impact on quality of care. And grandpa, who just fell down a flight of stairs.

Which means no one really won except the insurance companies.

Which means the new health care order looks a lot like the old health care order.

But at least you know why that pain in your ass is a little bigger now.

You're welcome.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Into The Mailbag We Go.......

Got this one as a comment to this post about the fun times people have working for CVS. Thought it deserved to be out front on its own:

Being a regular pain medication customer of CVS, I find it hilarious that not one single pharmacist will take ownership for their own fuck-ups. After getting rear ended at a stand still by a car traveling 60+ mph last year I was left with 8 bulging discs and an immense amount of pain that I will have to endure the rest of my life. My insurance won't work with Walgreen's so I got stuck with having to deal with CVS. I have a prescription for Tramadol and I don't know how many times I was supposed to have a script ready only to be told by my pharmacist that it can't be filled! You want to talk about a living hell? Try going through a Tramadol withdrawal on top of serious back pain! I am going through it again as we speak. I went back to my prescribing doctor and even pleaded to be put on anything else and he told me that there was nothing else that would help. He adjusted my prescription to where the frequency was 1 to 2 tablets every 4 hours as needed on a 120 count bottle. I have had one refill and one renewal since the adjustment and just had the online app tell me that my script was ready for a refill. I only had a few pills left so this seemed right. I put in the order online and was told it would be ready at 11:00 am. I show up at 1 pm and get told that they can't fill my script because it is too soon! They try to tell me that it was supposed to be a one month supply and I look at the label on my bottle and see "1 dose every 4 hours as needed". I talked to my prescribing doctor and he verified that he did not change the script. So some fuck head pharmacist filled out the script wrong the last time I renewed and I'm left to suffer until I can get this mess sorted out. Having just started a new job, this is the worst time to be going through this and I hope there is a special place in hell for all the fuckers at CVS who have repeatedly fucked me over. I am lodging a formal complaint with the pharmacist board. I have had enough. Meanwhile you fucktards whine about corporate pressure and how horrible it is. Then fucking quit! I can't quit my pain! Stop bitching and take ownership of your actions. Jesus Christ what a bunch of whiny fucking babies you all are . . .

Actually it was the answer I wanted to make sure everyone saw. Here goes:

Dear Whiny Douchebag:

Imagine you just got a letter from your insurance company about your tramadol coverage, and in it it said for you to get any more refills, you had to suck my dick. I bet you'd be all like "No way!! You guys can go to hell!" Right? Or at least something similar.

At least I hope so, 'cause I'm not getting any kind of hot chick vibe from your writing style.

Now, let's say I came to you and said for $15 a month, I'll tap you with a magic wand that will make sure your pain is under control and you will never have to go through tramadol withdrawal ever again. Assuming you're not a liar, (Many, many people with these type of stories are.) I bet you'd say something like "Wow! tramadol withdrawal sucks so bad, and I have this new job now with some dough coming in, and I work better when I'm not in pain, That's a bargain!! Sign me up!"

Well guess what Mr. Whineyfuck, this is your lucky day. because I am about to give you a clue as to how you should have been able to solve your problems all along.

I brought up my first point to show you that there is no law that says you have to do what your insurance company says. You wouldn't (I hope) suck my dick to get your tramadol, and you don't have to go to a pharmacy run by incompetent clowns. I'm not about to defend CVS here. The obsession with short staffing that permeates the chain drug world ensures that many people go through your type of experience.

Notice I said chain drug world, which means I wouldn't count on your Walgreen's being any better.

So what's a hurtin' tramdol dependent dude supposed to do? That's my second point. If you came into my place, I'd have you fixed up in about 5 minutes. Ten tops. And I'd charge you around $15 dollars a month without your insurance. If I happened to be in your fucky company's network, it'd be even less.

I'd also tell you the maximum dose of tramadol is 8 tablets a day, so your doctor kinda fucked you if he really did make out a prescription for 1 to 2 tablets every 4 hours. Do the math.

Which brings us to our conclusion. I'm not sure why I have to tell you this, but you don't have to be your insurance company's little bitch boy. Take some ownership of your own life, get your head out of your ass, and find yourself a real pharmacy. It'll cost you less than a Jackson. And if avoiding a life of pain and withdrawal isn't worth that much to you, then you'll get no sympathy from me.

You're welcome asswipe.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

A Random Book Excerpt, Because Not Everyone Should Pay To Experience My Wisdom.

Actually, now that I read that, very few people do. Pretty much anyone at anytime can come up to me at the store and pick my brain. Now that I think about that I'm kinda jealous of these people now. Able to ask me a question whenever they want. Lucky them.

Wait, now that I think about it even more I realize I can ask myself a question and experience my wisdom anytime I want. Whether it's 2 in the morning or during my morning shower or even in the middle of sexual intercourse.

I am the luckiest man on earth, and it would be mean of me not to share me.

Here you go:

Chapter 7: Atralin

The Med

Atralin is a brand name for the topical acne medicine tretinoin, and tretinoin was my teenage savior. Regular use, a little peeling to let me know I was using too much, a sunburn or two to teach me those warning stickers put on by the pharmacy weren’t just for show, and the volcanic mountain range that had erupted on my face eventually went into submission. The fact tretinoin can make acne worse before it makes it better was a little disconcerting, but after a few weeks, this pimply faced future professional was convinced tretinoin was a gift from heaven. I was now free to become socially awkward based only on the merits of my actions and not on the condition of my skin. It felt better somehow to know my awkwardness was now earned.

To make it even better, as I approach middle age, tretinoin has now also come into wide use in the treatment of facial wrinkles, making it easy to think of it as some sort of lifetime sex appeal in a tube. There are some people who would pay a lot for lifetime sex appeal, no questions asked I bet. Valeant Dermatology, the same company that brought us the rip-off acne med Acanya I talked about earlier, seems to have made that bet as well.

The Scam

Some of you more astute readers may have read the above description of tretinoin and wondered if I wasn’t talking about Retin-A. I was. Retin-A was the original topical tretinoin, and is now saving the complexions of the children of its first generation of users. Drugs this old have generally lost their patent protection and are available as money-saving generics, and Retin-A is no exception. Funny thing about this med though, even though it’s sold in different strengths, including 0.05%, and even though it’s available in both a cream and a gel formulation, one way you can’t get it is as a 0.05% gel. This is where Valeant saw its opportunity.  It introduced Atralin, a 0.05% gel form of tretinoin and marketed it as a new product not substitutable for a generic. The price? $250 for a 45 gram tube. Over four times the price I found for the same size 0.05% cream with a little shopping around.

Neither the cream nor the gel has been shown to be more effective by the way. Keep that in mind when you’re making your purchasing decisions.

Once again however, a little looking around will lead you to a “savings offer,” where insured patients, most insured patients that is, will pay $25. If you’re one of the lucky ones who qualifies for that $25 copay though, just remember your pharmacy has submitted a claim to your insurer for $250. Uninsured patients will pay $75 with the savings card. Which means Atralin is a product whose primary purpose it would seem, is to drain money away from your insurance company and those people not savvy enough to look for coupons, and into the coffers of Valeant Dermatology.

What To Do

Unless you’re just a really big fan of topical gels, there’s little if any reason to buy Atralin. Just stick with the generic Retin-A.

Actually, let me take that back. The box design on the generic tretinoins can be a bit boring. They have plain old boxy letters and tired plain color schemes. So if it's important to you to have stylish graphic artwork in your medicine cabinet, then by all means, go for the Atralin.

The rest of us though, can take the money we save on our lifetime sex appeal in a tube and spend it wining and dining our soon to be many suitors.

Or come stalk me at the store.

Lucky you.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Makers Of Dulcolax See Your Ass As A Penitentiary, And Their Mission As A Humanitarian One.

This, my friends, is an actual ad for the actual laxative Dulcolax, which ran in newspapers and bus stations in Singapore.

I am not making this up. There sit a pack of imprisoned turds, marking time around your asshole until they are, as the text in the corner says, set free by you.

"Well I should start shitting right away" you're probably thinking. My turds have done no crime, and therefore don't deserve to be doing time."

Not so fast there bubs, let me tell you what's gonna happen to those poor turds once that Dulcolax kicks in. It's a stimulant laxative, you see, and in this case, what's stimulated is the smooth muscle of the large intestine.

Which means those poor turds are gonna get crushed as the walls of their prison close in around them. Crushed until there is enough pressure to force them out of that little asshole in the floor. Look at the size of that asshole and look at the size of the turds. It ain't gonna be pretty.

I am going to go to bed now, but not before I say a little prayer for my turds. They are in for an ordeal the torturous quality of which I cannot even imagine.

Godspeed to you, innocent shit.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Once Again, Real Life Takes Away My Material. I Also Call Out Some Chicken Shit Compounding Pharmacists

Those of you who've picked up a copy of my awesome first book no doubt remember how I opened it with reminiscences of how I used to mock healthcare professionals who couldn't poison someone.  A doctor who tried to kill his mistress with strychnine for example, or a nurse who might use morphine to off a patient or two. It worked as humor because you'd assume that anyone who spent a few years studying the combination of how the body works and the chemicals the world of medicine puts into it oughta be pretty good at figuring out the poison thing. Basic stuff, right? Right in these people's wheelhouses and they screwed it up.....ha ha ha.....

Yeah....ha ha fucking ha.

The execution of a convicted murderer in Arizona lasted for nearly two hours on Wednesday, as witnesses said he gasped and snorted for much of that time before eventually dying. 
This drawn-out death of Joseph R. Wood III in Arizona prompted the governor to order a review and drew renewed criticism of lethal injection, the main method of execution in the United States, just months after a high-profile botched execution in Oklahoma.

And another one before that in Ohio. Right in the people's wheelhouses and they screw it up. Time after time. Once again I have underestimated the incompetence of others, and once again, real life robs me of comedic material.

Midazolam is the common denominator in all these fuckups, used with the narcotic hydromorphone in Ohio and Arizona and with a muscle relaxant (vecuronium) and potassium chloride (to stop the heart) in Oklahoma. So let me tell you a little bit about midazolam. It's what's known as a benzodiazepine, related to the Xanax and Valium so many people have made friends with. All in all they're a pretty good class of meds, gaining popularity in no small part because they are safer, particularly in overdose, than the class of meds they replaced, known as barbiturates.

Now, I'm gonna pause here, and place a large bet that even if you haven't had a day of any kind of medical training in your life, you can read that last paragraph and figure out the problem here, and offer a possible solution.

Some 6th grade dropout probably just said something like "um...maybe they shouldn't be using the safer one if they want to kill someone, and maybe go with that barbiturate stuff instead"...and that person... would be smarter than the Ohio, Oklahoma, and Arizona Departments of Correction.

 How many of you have had to have a pet put down? How long did it take? Seconds, not hours, yes? Guess what they use? Read that paragraph again and just take a wild-ass guess.

"Um......a barbiturate maybe?" the dumbest person on earth might say. And he would be right. Pentobarbital to be specific.

The olive in the martini here is that some states have figured this out. You won't hear about botched executions in Texas or Missouri because pentobarbital is exactly what they use.

So let's recap here. There is a successful model of a lethal drug that has a proven track record in both animals and humans. Yet some people in power think it's a good idea to go their own way and come up with a plan that uses a drug that is popular in medical practice in part because it is safer in overdose than the drug that is successfully used to kill lots and lots of living creatures.

And this is the world in which I try to satirize. Which probably says something about my intelligence.

Not that a midazolam/hydromorphone combination is completely inappropriate in theory. Pump someone full of enough of it and yeah, they should kick the bucket you would think. You know, assuming the meds were of the correct potency and actually were what they said on the label. Who knows? Maybe that was the problem here. Let's just check with the manufacturer and clear this right up....

...oh....wait. We can't do that. because no one quite knows who the manufacturer is. The prison people claim they're getting their goods from compounding pharmacies. Which means, if true, there's a colleague or two out there of mine who's a spineless, chicken-hearted, weak, cowering, thumbsucking, lily-livered, yellowbellied coward of a human.

That's right bubs. I'm calling you out. Signing a contract of death with the state is one thing, but doing so while insisting on the protection of anonymity is a whole other level of pussydom. Come out come out where ever you are deathdruggist, because if you can't stand the heat you're generating, you never should have gone into that kitchen and started cooking.

And just in case you are ready to point a finger back at me, I'll point out that I ended my awesome first book by telling the world how to get an abortion using a common anti ulcer medication, and I'll put the backlash whackadoodle anti-choice zealots are capable of generating up against anything you'll face any day of the year.

That part of the book still holds up by the way. No doubt because there I wasn't trying to mock an increasingly unmockable world.

Friday, June 20, 2014

This Is The Business Expertise I Remember From My Former Employer.

From The Motley Fool:

the biggest reason for the profit shortfall is what now appears to be overly rosy guidance for cost-saving benefits tied to Rite Aid's recent deal with generic distribution giant McKesson.

That deal transferred the company's responsibility for buying and distributing generic drugs to stores from Rite Aid to McKesson. When the deal was announced, Rite Aid argued that McKesson's bigger buying power and sophisticated distribution network (allowing for daily shipments direct to stores) would lower purchasing costs and inventory.

Unfortunately, that argument fell short this past quarter given that the company's cost of goods sold totaled 72.1%, up about a percent from a year ago.

You know, I work with McKesson myself, and I've always kinda liked them. They've always treated me fair, they have a lot of resources available for an indy out there in the big, bad, drugstore marketplace, they even gave me a free plant when I opened my account that's still alive.

I don't like McKesson anymore though. Because according to this they kinda fucked my former employer.

Which means I now LOVE them!!


I'll probably kiss my McKesson driver Monday and he'll have no idea why.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

My Preliminary MTM Conclusion

So...working through some numbers this night, I see that my MTM revenues to date have netted me about as much revenue as....

Ten extra prescriptions.

Pushing the figures a little further, I remember that when I'm in the happy pill room by myself without technician, ten prescriptions in an hour is a pretty good pace.

And...I've probably spent more than an hour doing the MTM stuff.

Which means....the paradiem  we've been living with since Nirvana was a fresh new band, of desperately grabbing as many prescriptions as we can at any price (including now actually paying for the privilege of filling them in some cases...long story) is actually still ahead of the bright new future of pharmacy being engineered for us by the visionaries of the profession.

To recap, in case you missed it. I can probably make more money in an hour cranking out prescriptions than I can working my MTM cases.

No wonder the chains went ape shit over the flu shots with hardly a peep about making sure Grandma is taking her Lipitor.

I've gotta get that damn Medicare immunization application done.

OK, thanks for helping me work through that folks. Goodnight.

Holy crap I can't believe I'm a businessman now.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Your Small Penis Is The Key To Understanding A Key Tactic Of Right Wing America's Arguments.

Because make no mistake, the right wing media machine is set to dominate the nation's news agenda. In a few short years they've gone from Glenn Beck being the crazy babbling uncle in the journalistic attic to being able to manufacture stories that get traction in normal people's dialogue.

Don't believe me? Bengazi.

Don't worry though, democracy may be at stake, but your small penis will stop them. First though, we'll have to learn a little bit about how they operate.

One of the favorite tactics of the conservative cable goons is the old "some people are saying" trick. It has its origin in the writings of people like Hunter S. Thompson, who wrote this for Rolling Stone while covering the 1972 presidential race.

“Not much has been written about The Ibogaine Effect as a serious factor in the Presidential Campaign, but toward the end of the Wisconsin primary race – about a week before the vote – word leaked out that some of Muskie’s top advisers had called in a Brazilian doctor who was said to be treating the candidate with ‘some kind of strange drug’ that nobody in the press corps had ever heard of.” 
It is entirely conceivable — given the known effects of Ibogaine — that Muskie’s brain was almost paralyzed by hallucinations at the time; that he looked out at the crowd and saw gila monsters instead of people, and that his mind snapped completely and he felt something large and apparently vicious clawing at his legs. 
We can only speculate on this, because those in a position to know have flatly refused to comment on rumors concerning the Senator’s disastrous experiments with Ibogaine.

After the campaign, Thompson had this to say:

“I never said he was (taking ibogaine), I said there was a rumor in Milwaukee that he was. Which was true, and I started the rumor in Milwaukee. If you read that carefully, I’m a very accurate journalist.”

Back then it was funny because of course no one would take that Ibogaine story seriously. But just like the old lady who gets up at a town hall meeting and says "the government needs to keep their hands off my Medicare,"  what was once ridiculous is now considered mainstream.  Listen for echos of Thompson in these actual quotes from Fox News transcripts:

7/14/11, commentator Eric Bolling: "There Is No Question That The Ground Zero Mosque Is In Fact A Victory Mosque."

The same Eric Bolling, 4 days later on Fox Business news: "Some Have Called" Park51 "A Victory Mosque."

On November 21st, 2011 Fox' Martha MacCallum reported "People Are Saying" Obama "Did Not Show Leadership On" Deficit Deal."

Who are some people? Mostly Bill O'Reilly from the day before: "Where Is President Obama On Leadership? He Should Have Laid Out His Vision."

I could give you plenty more examples, as there is no shortage of this kind of thing on Fox, but you get the idea, and you might be saying to yourself, "Wow, that Thompson example is just what I need to expose this bullshit for what it is."

You may be right for a few of the higher functioning ones, but remember who you're dealing with here. If you want to get to the majority of them, you're going to have to go with something far more visceral. Something that plays into their constant need to have something to fear.

Their small penis.

It's actually pretty simple, whenever you find yourself in front of the Fox News with one of their Cro-Magnon fans, just insert the phrase "your small penis" anytime after you hear "people are saying"

For example, Gretchen Carlson's "Some Would Say That It's The Unions That Have Crippled The U.S. Economy And Led To The United States' Debt." Becomes "Some would say you have a small penis"

Later, when they hear Sean Hannity say "And, less than 24 hours after some say that President Barack Obama virtually spat in the face of the State of Israel... " you tell your co-watcher "less than 24 hours after some say you have the smallest penis on the planet....."

Don't think you'll actually be promoting any intellectual growth or understanding of logical fallacies with this though. It'll be effective, eventually, but only because they will develop a Pavlovian fear of the phrase "some say," as it will trigger unwanted awareness of their organal inadequacies.

Take your victories where you can get them my friends, and pick up a copy of Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72. If for no other reason than to be ready for the next trick the fiends at Fox will have up their sleeve.  

Saturday, May 17, 2014

As The Nation Turns It's Attention To Horse Racing, I Retell The Story Of The Greatest Kentucky Derby Ever.

I've told this tale before, but I so love this story, and as much as it's possible to be in love with a horse, I love Mine That Bird.

Mine That Bird went into the 2009 Kentucky Derby a 50 to 1 longshot. His trainer was surprised to find out the horse had qualified, and loaded him up in a horse trailer and drove his pickup truck from New Mexico to get him there. Sports Illustrated didn't even bother to find out anything about him for its feature article on the race. He *did* get a mention in New York Newsday however, whose writer said he "should just stay in the barn"

And when the race started Mine That Bird lived up to expectations. Here's the You Tube Video of the race, and you'll see Mine That Bird so far back at one point that the announcer says another horse is in last place, because he can't even see Mine That Bird. the rest of the video, and keep an eye on the inside rail as they come around the final turn.

Some days, when I was unemployed and looking increasingly unemployable, as life started to look increasingly bleak,  I'd watch that video just to lighten up a little because I desperately didn't want to go through a whole day with nothing good in it. No matter how bad the suckfest got. That horse never failed to being a little smile to my face.

Someday I want to meet Mine that Bird, give him a big hug around his horse neck and get his hoofprint autograph.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I'm Amazed Sometimes At The Stuff That *Didn't* Get Me Fired.

Blogpost Original Airdate, May 23, 2011. 

A Few Random Thoughts That Should In No Way Be Confused With Those Of My Employer.

I know the profession has its ups and downs. Its frustrations and pitfalls. But I was thinking today, I really take pride in the work my fellow pharmacists and I do day in and day out. It's such a pleasure to be able to serve people and to know that I'm making even a small difference in the fight against things like cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and HIV. To know that I can use the talents I have honed over the course of my career to contribute to the good health and wellness of humanity is a feeling almost impossible to describe to someone not lucky enough to be in a health care field. I'm a big fan of pharmacy.

I should mention though, that the other day my employer came out with a new social networking policy that made it very clear that we were to leave no confusion when we post something online that we are speaking only for ourselves, and not as a representative of the company. So please, don't assume my employer agrees with anything I've just said.

I'm not just a pharmacist though, I'm also a citizen of the United States, and I'd like to think, the world as well. That's why my heart was filled with joy when I heard the news that Osama Bin Laden is no longer a threat to the planet. I really swelled with pride knowing our brave troops had brought evildoer number one face to face to his maker. I'd like you all to join me in honoring our brave men and women in uniform who all played a part in this "Mission Accomplished!," especially the Navy Seals, who may be the most heroic people who have ever lived.

Again though, my employer feels it is very important for me to say that what I write here does not necessarily reflect their views. I'm not sure why, but they definitely want you to know that.

Life isn't all happiness and triumph over evil though. I think we can all agree that there are some truly awful people in society. Take pedophiles for instance. The crimes they perpetrate against our children are among the most horrific things one person can do to another. Pedophiles should be severely punished, not only for the acute physical trauma they inflict on our most vulnerable, but for the lifetime of emotional scars they leave behind. I am no friend of the pedophile.

And I am in no way speaking for my employer. If you want to know what my employer thinks of pedophilia, you'll have to ask them directly. I'd recommend talking to someone in the legal department.

I also recommend you always wash your hands after defecating. But that's just me talking.