Do you like Jon Stewart Mr. Rite Aid Corporate Hack that can't get enough of my writing? Do you think Stephen Colbert is real? When he testified in front of Congress did you think he was a newscaster giving journalistic insight into one of the major issues of the day?
I hope you didn't. Because that would make you really stupid. Someone who would have to have explained to them that people like Colbert, Stewart, and the writers of The Onion use satire and outrageous behavior to make larger points simply wouldn't have the brainpower to be an executive at a successful drugstore chain, a goal I know you must aspire to while putting in time at your current job. I know you get it though, because when I tried to explain this to you the last time we talked, you totally cut me off, like you already understood.
Which can only mean this violence in the workplace policy you claim was violated was meant to provide protection from fictional characters like Stephen Colbert and The Drugmonkey. You did notice that on the day of our final meeting my name had never appeared on this blog, right? That this wasn't a blog by David, but a blog written in the character of The Drugmonkey, correct?
Of course you did. Because you're really smart.
You must really take your fiction seriously Mr. Hack. Because when I, David, called your media people to get information on your plans to bring in scabs should a Southern California strike happen, I was told that this was only an "unsubstantiated rumor"
So, when The Drugmonkey wrote that any scabs that come out here deserve to have their ass kicked "so hard their rectum ends up in front of their incisors" you immediately swung into action. To protect an unsubstantiated rumor from a fictional character.
I can only hope that someday you'll treat real people as well.
Just to show there's no hard feelings though, I'll leave you with an entertaining little clip that I'm sure I won't have to explain to you.
Or will I?
8 comments:
OMFG Since I do not work for Rite Aid, he will be reporting me as a terrorist the Homeland Security. I may go to jail for refusing to shop at Rite Aid. I could destroy the nation by letting the citizens know the secret behind Rite Aid's promotional policy. Scum rises to the top.
wow. it's a good thing that the unsubstantiated rumors are protected from the fictional characters....were you union? are they grieving it? even if you don't want the job back, it costs the company a lot of time/money to deal with the process, so I highly recommend it. plus, it will provide blog fodder.
Of course the corporate ding-dongs cannot discern fact from fiction, just look at the ridiculous metrics,quotas,'targets' they demand with no regard to the reality of the workplace.
We don't have Rite Aid here. I hate Wags, Osco (Albertsons), Dominicks (Safeway), and there aren't any independents, so it's Costco, CVS, and my horrible insurance company's crappy mail order. CVS, surprisingly, is the best of the bunch. Frankly, the mail order rx mill scares the $hit out of me. Who the hell are they, do they actually have any real pharmacists there, and where do they get some of the crap they sell? I must be on the pharmacy bad list, too. Oh noez!!!111!
Hmmm...reminds me of the ever stupid Dan Quayle and his remarks about the tv character Murphy Brown.
MAP
Dear Wrong Aid corporate whore,
Been telling my family what a pack of abusive pimps you are to your workers and about the importation of put of state heux scabs to union bust.
Got about 7 of my family members to transfer their RXs to other stores. Moved mine to the independent down the street.
Abusive pimps don't deserve my cash. You don't need to kick your heux's teeth to keep 'm "under control".
*gives the finger*
Lil Bat
PS DM, the offer for the gig in Windsor ONT, would be sweet. Windsor's nice, and you are close to real civilizations like London, ONT, Toronto and Ottawa. Think Vancouver or Montreal. Get your foot into the country, and real living is yours. I live in occupied Detroit, Mi.
More than likely they are compiling your comments for use in any Wrongful Termination suit you may be planning.
Don't know if you signed off on their stupid media restriction policy - which has been shot down when employed as cause for dismissal by other corporations.
Or perhaps they are trying to ferret out other renegade employees. So be it.
Or maybe - though unlikely - they would actually want to know how their employees actually do feel about their MASTER, since the ridiculous satisfaction survey they annoy us into taking is a farce. NOBODY answers their questions honestly. It is NOT anonymous when one has to identify their store,position,and length of service.
Finally - you are correct. How can you threaten violence against a fictional character? I hope that you sue them David. And I hope that other dismissed Pharmacists do so as well. I do know of one RiteAid Pharmacist that did and won a cash settlement. Go get paid.
I agree with some others -- go for the money -- there is a lawyer out there that will represent you -- maybe get a class action thing going.
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