Tuesday, January 02, 2007

My Life Is Taking On The Feel Of Gilligan's Island

I don't have to remind you I'm sure, how in the classic TV series week after week Gilligan and his fellow castaways allowed themselves to get their hopes up about an apparent opportunity to finally escape the desert island that imprisoned them, perhaps with a scheme involving a ham radio constructed out of a coconut, processed sand, and a rare jewel owned by the millionaire's wife, only to have their dreams dashed by the end of the half-hour again and again. Through it all though, Ginger always managed to look fabulous. I think I may have popped my first little boy boner watching Ginger after school one afternoon.

I wrote recently how I had hopes that the gates of hell would deliver me from my own retail pharmacy desert island, but just like when Gilligan would do something like drop the coconut radio into the ocean, it wasn't meant to be. The other day though, I had this left as a comment to my recent post about the ONU alumni office and their less than impressive free luggage tag offer:

In A#$%&*stan, we gave out business cards to tribal chiefs with their name on it...they thought they were cool.

They would give out their cards to other chiefs...by examining the network of card exchanges, we could track people and their contacts. Often, dead Taliban guys would have many of the cards of our contacts.

Thank God! I had finally attracted the attention of the feds with my little blog garden! I wondered what took them so long. I mean, after all, Certainly my ability to attract up to 500 hits a day with my occasional anti-war writing makes me more of a threat than the Quakers or a University of Santa Cruz Banana Slug. It was honestly starting to bruise my ego that I hadn't been picked up for at least a little questioning by now. This comment though, seemed to be a sign that things were looking up. Some quality time in sunny Guantanamo Bay Cuba could be in my future if I played my cards right. Fantasies of time in solitary confinement, away from all customers and other annoyances of the general public, started dancing through my head like sugarplums. There was the matter of waterboarding however, which even though it does not involve a customer in any way, I was still sure wouldn't be a pleasant experience. I started to concoct a cover story about members of the Houston Astros baseball team and a dirty bomb that I hoped would stop the dipping of the Drugmonkey should it come to that. I was ready, so ready, for my tropical pharmacy-free vacation.

Gradually of course I realized the comment was more than likely left by a well-meaning grunt just trying to keep me away from the clutches of the ONU alumni office, and my heart broke yet again. If I remember correctly though, Gilligan and friends did eventually get off that island in a special made for TV movie. Hope springs eternal.

2 comments:

Mother Jones RN said...

I'm sorry that you are heartbroken, but cheer up. "W" is going to be in office for two more years, so there is still time for all of us liberals to end up in jail.

MJ

Trekreb said...

Mary Ann was better looking than Ginger. Especially in those shorts.