From "The Actual Conversation With An Actual Customer" File:
Upon filling a prescription for the antibiotic Zithromax, a close relative of erythromycin.
Me: "Mrs. Smith, I see we have you on file as being allergic to erythromycin, is that correct?"
Idiot #1: "I don't know, what did it do to me?"
Yeah.....um.....you know.....I would ask the person who told me you had this allergy..........EXCEPT I JUST DID!
Later on in the evening we had this:
Me: Your prescription will be $5 sir.
Idiot #2: WRONG! I have INSURANCE! The copay is TEN DOLLARS!
Customer's always right you know. I happily rang up $10 and the douchebag walked away thinking he had really showed me......
Now it may surprise you to hear me say that experiences like this can leave me a tad....bitter.... angry at times even. Tonight though, I'm gonna jump off the angry train and onto a track going in the complete opposite direction. I am using the motivation provided by these and countless other dimwits to start anew, to begin a project that will lead to a happy, meaningful, and productive remainder of my years.
I am going to start a magazine. I have a preliminary working title of "The World Can Lick My Hairy Scrotum"
I mean, I kinda like writing here in my little blog garden, and the key to happiness is to do something for a living that you like, right? Check this out though, I can go one better than just writing. How about in this magazine, I have a regular column where I review different brands of scotch, the wrinkle would be that I am not allowed to start writing until I had ingested at least 4 ounces of product. I think this would be very entertaining for both writer and reader, a true win win.
I am also working on developing some contacts within the serial killer community. I mean, who doesn't like reading about serial killers? Fuck, a serial killer is a printing press to make hundred dollar bills, that's what a serial killer is. Plus when a serial killer is caught, I don't think you have to pay them anymore.
I also think the magazine would run regular cartoons mocking Jesus. Mostly because I like to mock Jesus, but also to show Danish Muslims it's possible to be a good sport about these things.
Throw in a little hate mail from the avalanche I'd be sure to get after the first few issues, and it's gold. Fucking gold baby.
And when I accept the Pulitzer Prize that is surely in my future, the first person I will thank.....will be the erythromycin allergy moron. My anger will have been finally conquered, my mind..... finally at peace.
5 comments:
I hope I can get a job at your magazine I am in desperate oindition for money.
I may have to cancel my subscription to cat fancy though if I want to subscibe to your mag.
I shall help you on your scotch filled adventure, and call dibs on the scotches of Islay.
This is easily your best post yet. I love the working title. Consider nutsac in place of scrotum. I also fully support your scotch review and its policies. Perhaps I can help out and contribute druken gin reviews.
I will be more than happy to contribute to the drunken vodka reviews. Also, if you need more info on the Serial Killer thing, I am pretty sure I have some addicts that are just on the verge. Come on out, I am pretty sure we can push them over the edge and then use them for our financial gain.
I also agree, nutsack may be better than scrotum
And dearest Drug Monkey.....of course the Congaqween would definitely be interested in making herself available to provide write-ups for you on those smashing(no pun intended)Dirty Martini's of yours!!!!
I'll keep the scrotum/nutsac references out of my post, as u are well aware that the Congaqween does not discuss such personal things in the public forum.....ok....except with YOU!!!!
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