Never really.
But today I noticed the umbrella looked as tired and as old as I feel some mornings when I leave for work. I noticed the parts that faced up towards the car window and took the beating of the summer sun were faded, which gave the umbrella an unintentional two-tone look. And I thought about the rainy day in Pennsylvania.
The rainy day in Pennsylvania when I was young and newlywed and honeymooning. Privileged and educated and nearer to the top of society than I'm sure my grandfather who couldn't write his name ever would have thought a grandson of his would be. Normal. If you would have known me on that rainy day in Pennsylvania in 1994 you most certainly would have thought me normal.
I might even have been happy. I don't really remember. Other than going into an outlet store with my new wife and picking out an umbrella that would be big enough for both of us I really don't remember a lot about that day. The umbrella is a time capsule from another world. I know I was there, but damn if I remember a lot about it. I look at wedding pictures and I wonder who that normal looking guy is in there.
'Cause I don't feel so normal anymore. I haven't for a long time. It really is a big-ass umbrella though.
Thanksgiving is the hardest day of the year to not feel normal. That's why I've always worked them. My employer screwed me this year though by closing for the holiday, but that's not your concern. I'm just writing this to let you know if you ever see someone doing something weird like sitting around and staring at an umbrella, sometimes that's the kind of thing that's going through their mind.
I should try to get some sleep. Even though the sleep helps less and less, I should try.
12 comments:
What is it with the day prior to thanksgiving? Up and morose here too. Had a hospice case last night that was brutal. Makes you think.
Wow DrugMonkey... Perk up buddy!! I don't like it when you're all down and depressed!!
had bad nights the last few also...
http://conservativepropagandamachine.blogspot.com/
Sounds like you need a vacation! Lets go to vegas, I'll show you a good time~
I recommend copious amounts of alcohol, of the very good variety.
I shall be partaking in some Duvel.
You are not alone in the weird feeling.
Yeah I've noticed that the day before and Thanksgiving day, it seems more than ever, people who come into the pharmacy are either a) looking for someone to just talk to or b) picking up their antidepressant ...sometimes both!
Re: your post, it's okay to be a few different people at different points in your life.
I'm mad I'm not working, too. I think you're pretty normal.
Staring at an umbrella is better than studying for pharmacy school finals that start on Monday :P
ahhh little drug monkey under that jaded exterior is a softly beating heart...you missed your calling..writing is truly your thing
*kiss* *kiss* and a swat on your sassy ass.
I hope you perk up this weekend, Master of All Things Pharmacy.
LD 50 Rat
Cheer Up DM!
The interns feel your pain. Some of us can't go back home to family and friends (can't afford to anyway). We now have the comfort of a 13 lb dipiro text (finals coming up), alternating on a caffeine buzz then knocking myself out with zolpidem.
I'm right there with you, DM. Working those holidays helps, sometimes. I miss the excuse to have something to do with my time, too.
But "not normal" is worth it, most days...
Post a Comment