Thursday, October 26, 2006

A Reader Shares Their Thoughts, And Changes My Life. (Part I Of A Blog Trilogy)

I should have expected this.

Using the word "liberal" in turn of the 21st century America is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Except in this case the bull is usually a balding, middle aged, paunchy know it all white guy. Think of the guy who doesn't bat an eye when you tell him his Viagra isn't covered on his insurance plan then whips out his credit card. That kind of guy. I used the "L" word right in a post's headline, so sure enough right on cue the next morning this is waiting in my mailbox:

How can you call yourself a liberal? Your a Pharmacist, in the top 10% of all incomes in the good 'ole US of A. Do you like being taxed to death to fund all the sick lame and lazy people in this country. That is what your average tax and spend liberal wants. I hope you feel good about being a "liberal" every time a worthless state mediciad recipient comes into your Pharmacy. At least you will know where that 35% of your patcheck is going. If the liberals have there way it will be closed to 60%. At least then Mary Rottencrotch and her 16 kids from 16 different guys will be able to get Pulmicourt repules, Xopenex and Sigular chewable for all 16 kids minor runny noses. By the way your blog is funny as hell. Every Pharmacists goes through what you blog about on a daily basis. Its funny to read someone else observations of the ridiculous stuff we have to deal with.

My first thought upon reading this was an uncontrollable urge to raise taxes. That way we could afford to fund our public schools so someday I could stop getting comments with such disregard for the rules of grammar and spelling of the English language. Then I saw it. I read the message again to make sure. Yes. A connection to my very soul was being made.

I read the message a third time. What was so mesmerizing was how the words were obviously written just for me. The way AJ, the person who cared enough to write, didn't just spit up the same right wing drool that one can hear up and down the AM radio dial, see on Fox news, read in The Washington Times or hear wherever middle aged white people talk amongst themselves. AJ carefully took my thoughts on hospital charity care, which he obviously read very carefully, and by adding his own unique, personal take on what I had written, which he obviously read very carefully, was able to show me the error of my ways in a way Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly or the guys down at the elks lodge never could. Thank you AJ. Thanks to your intervention I now realize:

1) The fact I own property in the most insane real estate market in human history and drive a two year old paid for car are signs that I am being taxed to death.

2) That social services are the only thing the government spends tax dollars on. It really was a relief to find out that the war in Iraq, a war that I despise, a war that I hate with every past, current and future living part of me, is evidently not costing us a single dollar. Maybe Bush Sr. got a "buy one get one free" special on the first Gulf War. Republicans are smarter that the rest of you, and since I've only been one for about 5 minutes, I'll leave it up to them to explain how the free war thing works.

3) There is no such thing as a rich slut. That the fact Paris Hilton doesn't have 16 different kids by 16 different guys has nothing to do with the fact liberals have fought for a woman's right to contraception access.

I feel like AJ has removed the cataracts from my eyes, but also foolish for having wasted so many years taxing myself to death. I vow to you, to each and every reader of this blog, that I will make up for lost time. That I, the drugnazi, will so help me God turn this blog into every tax and spend hippie fornicator's worst nightmare.

Let's get started.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I just found this site; and without sounding too enamored by your articulately worded astute observational style, I should probably ask which gender you are. Fuck it, I love you. If you're a dude, you have made me a slightly gayer man than I was twenty minutes ago. Kisses. Oh yeah, if you're a chick, I am totally in love with you and think that we should run away together and make babies.