Now, I don't spend much time around children, for many of the same reasons I don't spend time around wild boars, but I have never seen anything like the little out of control shit whose mom I had the good fortune of waiting on today. He announces his presence by throwing a volleyball for no apparent reason straight up and hitting the store's ceiling, sending said ball ricocheting down and almost hitting him on the head. Society should be so lucky, as it would have been more of a behavior deterrent than anything mom could offer.
"I don't like that Johnny" she says, as Johnny runs down the vitamin aisle.
A loud scream. Something like you might imagine coming from the mouth of the mythical banshee. Then "Johnny, if you don't settle down there will be no video tonight."
A loud crash out of my sight. "Johnny, did you hear me? Behave or no video. This is not OK"
Johnny and I both knew that if he went home and deliberately set the house on fire, mom would rush into the burning building to save the DVD player and Johnny's five favorite cartoon discs.
Then the pharmacy door opens and in comes Johnny. Running at full speed behind me and into the room of drugs. The drugnazi corners little Johnny and leads him out by the ear. Now I'll give the kid credit, they say children and animals always know a persons real intentions, and Johnny seemed to sense that the only thing keeping me from slapping his sorry little ass into last year and giving him one more chance to not to become a screw-up was the legal action that would result. Johnny also seemed to know that much more of this and even that wouldn't stop me. He finally sat down in a chair and gave me a chance to wait on mom.
She was picking up prescriptions for a Nuvaring and Lexapro. That would be a contraceptive and an antidepressant for those of you not in the profession.
It would seem mom learned her lesson a bit too late.
5 comments:
Hello DrugNazi,
I'm the previously commented upon "friend's wife who is a pharmacist, albeit a pharmacist in a hospital." Your fame is spreading in this neck of the woods! I want to thank you for inspiring me to launch my own work related blog on hospital pharmacy life. I had wanted to do this a year ago but was stumped by my blogging/writing inexperience then. Copycat, yes, but don't worry - I won't ask you to review my stuff. I've listed your link on my site (ooo that might sound dirty one day) so that you are fully credited. Perhaps we can see whose forehead is redder at the end of the day (and not from scotch - I'm enzyme deficient Chinese but slowly working on it!).
cheers!
thestatpharmacist
Little hooligans like that are the reason why I have no desire whatsoever to reproduce.
Ms. statpharmacist,
I knew from the moment I first set foot in British Columbia that it's people had exceptional taste... the fact that "my fame is spreading" in your neck of the woods only confirms that first impression.
One of my faults though, is that I am rather lazy, and google can be a bit of a challenge when you're tipsy from scotch, so if you could help me out with the web address for your new blog, I'd love to check it out tomorrow morning.
Actually who am I kidding....there's no way I'm getting out of bed before noon.
I totally LOL'd when you mentioned her meds.
I LOVE kids like little Johnny. I hope my kids are little devils. I think they're fun.
If little Johnny was my son, he woulda bit you the second your DrugMonkey hand came near his ear.
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