My Sexual Kink May Be The Key To Stopping Islamic Terrorism

Sometimes great thoughts come to you when you least expect it. Today, for example, while trying to forget about today's pill counting experiences, I wandered around the Internet and made a great leap towards ending Fundamentalist Islamic oppression of women. Here it is:


Of course I didn't realize this at first. All I did was stop what I was doing and think "That woman could be a teetotal babe or she could be bald." Somehow I found this prospect intriguing. Then it hit me:

Burkas make me hot.

It's the surprise package thing I'm totally into. Unwrap and you never know what you'll find. Perhaps a Fiona Apple or Emmanuelle Beart. On the other hand, maybe a Madeleine Albright or God forbid Janet Reno. Think about that moment of excitement when you're playing Monopoly, reaching for the pile of "Community Chest" cards not knowing if you're going to collect $50 from every other player or get sent straight to jail. It's kinda like that.

Of course the irony of a garment meant to enforce modesty attracting the attention of an amoral atheist cad such as myself cannot be overstated. If Muhammad lets his woman take a great leap into the 19th century, then I'll walk by her without a second glance. Wrap her up though, and my inner Glenn Quagmire starts to wonder why the wrapping is necessary. Think about it there Ahmed. I know you'll do the right thing. Giggity giggity giggity.