The fourth aisle in our store has an identity crisis. While it is secure about who it is, being right there where it feels it needs to be, between aisles 3 and 5, my employer decided to add a bit of mystery to it's life and has left the actual number off of the sign that hangs from the ceiling telling the weary consumer what is offered on it's shelves. Those of you that don't work with the general public would be surprised how much effort this adds to the average shoppers experience. Those of you who do probably have a good idea of the chaos that ensues.
Unfortunately aisle 4 is where most of the OTC medicines are found, which means that it often falls to me to guide the public around this obstacle placed in the way of the people's money making it's way to corporate headquarters. I start off with the simplest explanation, always hoping against hope that it will work. "It's on aisle 4, on the right hand side on the bottom shelf"
It never does. invariably the customer will look to the right at the big number "3", then to the left, see the big number "5", and immediately be befuddled.
"The aisle without a number, right hand side on the bottom shelf" says the helpful drugnazi, while simultaneously noticing that his tech has mistakenly typed a prescription for Wellbutrin XL for Wellbutrin SR. Roughly half the customers will be able to take it from here. The rest will go to step 3. "The aisle right in front of us, on the right hand side on the bottom shelf" The "right in front of us" sometimes will sink in, but nothing else. The person will then wander down aisle 4, looking to their left at a shelf above eye level.
I would go out and help if I had time and I cared, but I don't and I don't. I'm more worried about making sure the form of Wellbutrin your doctor actually prescribed is the form that makes it in your bottle. I'm funny about that. Filling prescriptions correctly. Besides, it's funny to watch you wander about in a clueless daze while I'm taking a phone call from someone who wants to know the name of "that pill that will make me pass a drug test". The caller is thinking of golden seal. It doesn't work. He'd buy it anyway if he could find it.
It's down aisle four.
5 comments:
I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN. It saddens me that I understand so completely. It is the pain of retail. Of course, for me, it's people who are asking where the ladders are. They're in aisle 18. I know, isn't it crazy how it's not on the sign? Ha ha! Yes, I will immediately get that fixed. Of course. I can do that. Also, aisle 19? Yes, I know it says insulation, and ONLY Insulation on the sign, but in reality, you can also find all the gutter supplies you could want, house wrap (yes, we do carry Tyvek!), garage door openers and accessories, great stuff, and my deadened soul down that aisle.
And now I'll stop misappropriating your comments to bitch about my job. That's what my blog is for!
I just noticed you moved me up your list-- for the record, I was joking, but thanks anyway! It's the thought that counts.
I understand too. Our aisle 13 doesn't have a sign, and that's the "family planning" aisle. It makes for great laughs when guys can't find the condoms or the lube.
Even better is when the girls are looking for tampons and lube. Sometimes, I wonder...
My favorite customers are the ones that ask even when the sign says where it is. Like "Where's the vitamins?" How about aisle 9 under the sign that says vitamins. Or "where's the toothpaste?" How about aisle 5 under the sign that says oral hygiene. But maybe that's a bad example because the term oral hygiene is probably too complicated. Its things like this that make retail a slow painful death.
My favorite scenario is when I drop everything to lead someone to a product on the shelf (that they were looking right at anyway). They pick it up, peruse it (that's OK, I've got all day) and then say "And how much is this?" That's when my inner voice screams "LOOK AT THE GODDAMM PRICE STICKER!!"
DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT FOR YA TOO???
But I don't.
I love how most of the requests for locations involve a certain aisle. Which they probably walked through, definitely around, to get to the pharmacy. Open your eyes people. not so hard.
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