Sunday, December 28, 2008

Updated: A Milestone In My Life This Night. I Realize The Influence Of Larry "Bud" Melman Is Smaller Than That Of Even Ohio Northern University.

So the world is a small place my friends, and try try try as I might, the efforts I made to escape the one into which I was born will never be completely successful. This weekend I came across someone from Ada, Ohio. If you have ever heard of Ada, you know what that means. She was a college student. There are people who live in Ada who are not affiliated with Ohio Northern University, like 25 or so I think, and they are truly frightening individuals of such intellectual quality I doubt any of them could get piss out of a boot with instructions written on the heel. They make the footballs that are used by the National Football League. I'm not kidding about that. 

But anyway, this woman did not make footballs, so naturally the small talk centered around Ohio Northern University, which was the institution that was foolish enough to grant me a degree in pharmacy during an era when computers weren't advanced enough to verify a student had actually taken all required prerequisite classes. It went something like this....

Me: "Blah blah blah.....boring ONU small talk.......blah blah blah" Talk about ONU is unavoidably boring. 

She: "Well we have a McDonald's now, after David Letterman mentioned on his show that we were the college campus furthest from one"

Me: "Really? We had Larry Bud Melman on campus once when I was there"

I was starting to perk up now. It had been a long time since I had thought of Larry Bud Melman and God I missed him. 

Blank stare. Total blank stare. A blank stare that was the beginning of a shock I have yet to recover from. 

"He was a regular on Letterman's show back when he was on at 12:30"

Incomprehension. I might as well have been speaking in tongues. 

I walked back into the happy pill room slightly stunned. My keystone tech would help me out. My keystone tech always bails me out. 

"Do you remember Larry Bud Melman?"

"Who?"

"You know who David Letterman is...."

"I think so.....the one who's not Jay Leno"

"You know he used to be on at 12:30"

"What?"

"You remember Johnny Carson....."

"Not really"

I looked around the store. Desperately. I mean, I know I'm getting old, but a lot of the stuff I liked when I wasn't old is still generally recognizable by the public. I just heard someone talking about fucking Fonzie the other day and Larry Bud Melman was better on his worst day than Fonzie ever was in his wet dreams. There was a time, my friends, when I would have been constantly surrounded by people hip to Larry Bud Melman, and now, as I looked around, I didn't see a soul I had any confidence would know the name. Larry has slipped off the earth and I failed to notice. 

Or else Larry hasn't. I know I could put Larry Bud Melman into the Google, but if I do, and Larry isn't there, that means I'm not just old, but that I've gone insane. Toast on a stick. Melman Bus Lines. It might all be just in my head, and if it is, I can't take the risk of finding that out. This night I find myself quite possibly clinging to what could be the final facade of my sanity. 

By the way, that wasn't a random expletive thrown in there in front of Fonzie. The person was actually talking about having sex with the former sitcom icon. 

At least in my head they were. I think.

Update 12/29: Thank you dear readers, for assuring me that I am not insane. Maybe I should rephrase that.  For assuring me Larry Bud Melman existed somewhere outside my head. You gave me the courage to venture onto the YouTube and dig this up. You are missed Larry. 

As are you Mr. Letterman. All the more so because you're still around. 



18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Too young to know what you're talking about, but according to wikipedia, Larry Bud Melman worked for Parke Davis.

Frank, CPhT said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calvert_DeForest

All your Larry Melman needs in one simple spot.

You aren't crazy My Simian Friend!

Annapolitan said...

Even though Larry "Bud" Melman followed Letterman to CBS, the name stayed with NBC, as it was their intellectual property. So Letterman referred to Calvert DeForest by his real name after the move to CBS 15 years ago.

This might be why certain younger folk don't know who Larry Bud is.

Steph said...

Wow, a fellow ONU alumni! You make us proud. What year?

TheOtherOne said...

Well, I'm not sure I ever heard of Larry, but I know who Letterman is, and know he used to be on later....

And I went to ONU Law. ;-)

Anonymous said...

some song titled hey 19 about dating a younger woman who didn"t who aretha was...put it on your playlist

Anonymous said...

Ah you are not insane sir! I too was a Larry "Bud" Melhman fan of yore. I went to college right inbetween generations, Gen X, as it were. When I started pharmacy school you still needed a "word processing machine" to do your papers. When I graduated, you could download term papers from the internet. Johnny had just retired and Letterman was moving to CBS. When Letterman made the move Larry "Bud" went with him, but his name changed because NBC owned the "intellectual property" rights to Larry "Bud" Melhman. He died sometime between 97 and 2002 i'd guess. So again you are not insane sir. We Gen X'ers remember him!!! Long Live Larry "Bud"!!!

Anonymous said...

Parke Davis...Who still remembers Parke Davis?

The little tech that does... said...

I remember him, he was great. Granted, I was a youngster back then......

Anonymous said...

You are not alone. I remember when David Letterman hadn't yet sold out and his shows were good. Before he started making 14 million a year (I'm sure it's much more, now). When Larry Bud Melman was a regular feature on the show.
In 2009, I'll be turning 50. How old are you, Drugmonkey??

Anonymous said...

Drugmonkey--

I am a youngster, only 28, and I know who Larry "Bud" Melman from Letterman is...a better way to get the youngsters to remember him is as the 1-800-Collect guy
LOVE your BLOG--it gets me through the day when I am worrying about customers and my ALMOST?? Bankrupt employer!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my God he was hilarious. Remember that maniacal laugh and that frozen facial expression? At Ferris State in the dorms everyone gathered to watch and hope he would make an appearance.

Anonymous said...

I'm 26, remember Johnny Carson, and watched David letterman a lot when I was little, but I have no clue who this dude is you are talking about :(

Anonymous said...

Okay, okay, now that you show me the video I do remember that guy very well and enjoyed him, I guess I just never knew his name. Which I kinda feel bad about now

Anonymous said...

I remember Chubby Checker and Carol Channing at ONU, but I do not remember Larry Bud Melman.
I must be older than you DM. Alas...

Romius T. said...

I was assigned to write Larry's obituary over at needs of the few...

http://theneedsofthefew.blogspot.com/2007/03/medusan-in-box-requiem-for-larry-bud.html

Stavros69 said...

I could never forget Larry. He was one of my favorites.

I have been out of pharmacy so long that I did not know that Park Davis is like Pan Am.

I rarely watch the TV any more. When I am not dancing or hiking I prefer to go on the web rather than TV.

Madam Z said...

I am well acquainted with the dreaded "total blank stare," which is often given me by various young whippersnappers when I mention things or persons from pre-1990. I also get the stare when I make a joke of some kind. It is disheartening.