Please Help Me Identify My Christmas Present.

It happens every year. Some mystery customer comes in when I'm not working and drops off little presents for the pharmacy staff. I don't mean that the customer is trying to be mysterious, I mean that even after seeing the name on the tag, I wouldn't know who this customer is if they came up and bit me on the nads. I mean, I guess it's a nice gesture and all, but honestly, I've said for years the best way to show your gratitude for me doing  my job is by shutting up, taking your stuff, and getting away from the counter as soon as possible. Seriously. I will appreciate your quick exit more than anything you can do or say. 

Anyway, this year's present from the mystery customer was a manicure set. Wait. Maybe this wasn't a nice gesture at all. Maybe my hands so disgust this person that they have been moved to try to relieve themselves of beholding their grotesqueness ever again. Could it be that part of me is.......unattractive? Suddenly I am intrigued by the manicure set and the possibility of becoming even hotter. 

Except that I don't know what half the things in the manicure set are. There's like three sets of nail clippers, which is seven short of one for each of my nails, a set of tweezers, a utensil I have never owned until today, a little pair of scissors, a nail file that totally doesn't look like a nail file, and then this group of unidentifiables:



I am honest to God stumped my friends. The thing on the left has an angled edge like some sort of knife. Cuticle pusher backer? Could the fact I'm not pushing back my cuticles be the reason I'm not getting laid at the moment? 

If the thing second from the left were a little bigger, it might be the type of object you use to dig out some caviar to spread on your Ritz cracker or whatever it is you eat caviar on. Maybe with the economy being the way it is, the average caviar portion size has gone way down. Wait. This is part of a manicure set, so caviar server doesn't make any sense. I bet you might be able to use it to actually pry one of your fingernails off though. Is that some sort of new fad among the kids nowdays maybe?

My best guess for the third thing is an earwax digger. Except it kinda tickles when I gently probe my ear canal with it. Maybe it's some sort of ear dildo. 

Shit. I can't hear anything all the sudden. I should probably go to the ER when I'm done writing this. 

I'm thinking the last thing is a nose picker. See how the end of it is like a two-pronged fork? Bet you could totally spear a booger with this. Perhaps that is the civilized way to clear your nasal passageways in high society. A finger does seem sort of barbaric. 

So anyway, any help you guys could give me here would be appreciated. With your assistance, I may end this year hotter than I began it.  Or at least avoid large hospital bills.

Thanks in advance.