Apparently Pharmacy Has A Code Of Ethics. Who Knew?

Not me. But there it was in black and white in the latest issue of the trade magazine Drug Topics. The code of ethics by the way, was by far the most interesting thing in that rag, Jim Plagakis being the exception that proves the rule. Why Jim continues to do the clowns that think we'd be interested to read about drugstores in the suburbs on Atlanta putting in generators and publishes statements like "Tylenol was one of the top acetaminophen products suggested" the favor of writing for them baffles me. 

Name another acetaminophen product. 

Quick. C'mon. No Googling. 

See my point? Drug Topics hurts my eyes, and if it weren't for Jim Plagakis and the curiosity aroused by seeing an alleged code of ethics that governs my profession, I might have had to try to gouge them out this Christmas Eve to stop the pain. 

Evidently The Code of Ethics for Pharmacists was adopted by the American Pharmaceutical Association in 1994. The involvement of APhA in the code of ethics goes a long way towards explaining why no one has ever heard of it. 

Name an accomplishment of APhA. 

This time you don't have to be quick, and you can use the Google all you want. See my point? But, since some geeks most likely spent the better part of a week debating what should go into this code of ethics, then another day or two deciding if the bullet points should be marked with little dots or a dash-like symbol, I figured I might as well see how I stacked up. It was Christmas Eve remember, which means there wasn't much else to do in the happy pill room. 

- A pharmacist respects the covenantal relationship between the patient and pharmacist. 

What? Covenantal? That's Jesus talk. Forget that. Unless APhA is trying to say something like my customers should worship me. I could totally respect that, and it would be the most sensible thing to come out of APhA's mouth in years. 

- A pharmacist promotes the good of every patient in a caring, compassionate, and confidential manner. 

Confidential? Check. Caring and compassionate? Mmmmm....not so much. I'll make sure your prescription gets filled correctly, and if you have questions I'll do my best to get the answers through your pointy little head, but most of the time, if you decide to walk out the front door of my store and take a flying leap off a cliff, I wouldn't give it a second thought.  Yeah, I think caring's definitely off the list. 

- A pharmacist respects the autonomy and dignity of each patient. 

Autonomy = Your right to decide to have your prescription filled somewhere else. Yeah, I totally respect that. 

Dignity? Yet to be tested on that one. As soon as I get a customer with some dignity I'll let you know how it turns out. 

- A pharmacist acts with honesty and integrity in professional relationships. 

Check. There's no need for me to rip you off or lie to you any more than Big Pharma already does. 

- A pharmacist maintains professional competence. 

Why exactly did this one make the list? We have to be told we should make an effort to know what we're doing? Sigh. Moving on....

- A pharmacist respects the values and abilities of colleagues and other health professionals. 

Nope. Because the values of Lloyd Duplantis, of Gray, Louisiana do not belong in our profession, and deserve no respect. 

As far as other health professionals,  I will respect the ability of a Physician's Assistant to be able to write a prescription that makes sense just as soon as I see a prescription from a Physician's Assistant that does. 

- A pharmacist serves individual, community, and societal needs. 

I need to get laid right now. That's my individual need. So according to APhA, there's another pharmacist out there that will serve that. Sweet. 

- A pharmacist seeks justice in the distribution of health resources. 

OK, now I feel bad. I've been mocking the APhA throughout this whole post and then they have to go and spring this one on me at the end. If only there were any justice in the distribution of health resources. If APhA magically became able to be effective at something, this is what I would pick for APhA to actually be able to do. 

Unfortunately it took them 14 years to make me aware they consider me to be a woefully ethically challenged pharmacist.  I expect they'll write in sometime in 2022 and tell me I should have used little dots to mark their bullet points. 

APhA sucks.