Wednesday, March 12, 2008

In A World Full Of War, Pestilence, And Economic Hardship, I Find One Thing For Which To Be Thankful

I am not the least bit bald. I'm not sure I could handle it if I was.

My hair is as thick and full as the day I was born. Wait. Scratch that. I mean as thick and and full as it ever was. I look at bald men and I feel badly for them. I wonder if their heads get cold. So many things have gone wrong in today's society, I just feel it's important to note that my hairline isn't one of them.

I'm extra thankful because my skin tends to be a bit on the shiny side, which means if I were bald I would probably blind you if the room's lighting bounced off my head at the right angle. It's a good thing for both of us I still have all my hair.

4 comments:

Shalom said...

Remember that old Elvis song. "Are you lonesome tonight"? There exists a recording of a live version of that where he goofs up the line "Do you gaze at your doorstep/And picture me there", by singing instead "Do you gaze at your bald head/And wish you had hair?" after which he spots a bald man in the audience and cracks up. Keeps trying to sing and busting out laughing instead. There's a spoken bit in the middle where he's supposed to sound all serious, and he can't manage it; it's absolutely hilarious. RCA snuck this one in on a Greatest Hits compilation with no warning to the purchaser...

Anonymous said...

You crack me up...silly monkey...

Anonymous said...

That would be tragic. Imagine how the Hotness scale would wane.

Stonegiant said...

Hair is an inconvenience. I'd have no hair on my head permanently (except brows and lashes) if I had my way (meaning I could afford it).