I pulled into the parking lot to start this day and I saw one of my regular customers walking into the store.
The great thing about community pharmacy is that you get a chance to know your regular customers. Because of this I went to Starbucks. Because I knew this customer all too well.
I waited in a long line without a care in the world. I decided to buy something for my keystone tech as well. "No hurry" I told the barista...... I ended up being about 5 minutes late to open the gate.
The first words out of the customers mouth when that gate opened were exactly what I knew they would be:
"HOW LONG?"
I am the king of passive-aggressiveness. Just ask my ex-wife.
Opportunities to fuck with customers will present themselves regularly to those who remain vigilant in the search for them. We had a customer this day who was named after happiness and joy. When her prescription was ready I couldn't resist:
"Are you Gay?" I said as I looked out into the waiting area. I played it perfectly straight but I have a feeling the customer knew what I was doing. There was a pained look on the customer's face. Huh Huh.....huh huh....
If you're the help desk rep from Cigna I went off on today, I'm sorry. Kind of. You started it.
At lunch I got some insight into the life of a hot chick. I mean smokin'. I mean Playboy would have been more than happy to sign her to a contract hot. There were two guys with her in line in front of me, obviously competing for her affections, and obviously not quite in her league. She got to the cash register first, stopped, stamped her foot impatiently and said:
"I don't know which one of you is paying for me but you better get up here now!"
Whereupon one of the guys did. I miss the ghetto sometimes.
Back to work and the other extreme. At least 250 pounds of fugliness spilling over hip-hugging jeans and wearing 2 or 3 faces full of makeup. "I cry after bad sex too, don't worry about it," she said into her cellphone as she walked past. I got the feeling she's cried a lot. Sometimes I don't miss the ghetto at all.
I spent a good 5 minutes trying to explain to a customer that the fact Toprol is off patent does not mean it's over the counter. I spent 5 more explaining to someone else that even though their insurance covers a 90 days supply of medicine, in the case of Amoxicillin and an ear infection, that might not be the best idea. Maybe it was karma getting me for the Starbucks incident.
That woman really was Gay though. Huh-huh.....huh huh......
12 comments:
on the same note as the amoxicillin, about a week ago we had a NP insist on giving a patient 30 avelox instead of the usual 7 day treatment, because the copay was the same for 30 as it was for 7.
i hope that NP gets only drug-resistant strains of bacteria from here on out.
"But I'm not getting a 30 days supply! Why do I have a $2 copay?!?"
Anyhow.
Mr. Monkey, by all means I approve of you going off on the CIGNA rep. I've had nothing but trouble with CIGNA/Argus. Although usually they're very friendly and up-front about being useless.
I get so sick of hearing "HOW LONG" and "IM ON MEDICAID" it makes me want to vomit blood. Oh yes, and my mostest favorite, "Do yall have any 24 hour sudafed?" Yep, I'm in meth country. I bet that covers 90% of what is said to me during a day.
I think you meant Toprol went off "patent" rather than "patient..."
I wish I had as much fun at my place of employment as you do at yours.
You talk on the phone with insurance companies? I've never worked with a pharmacist who does that. You are one of kind Mr. Monkey, or maybe you just need better techs.
Wanted to say I lurve your playlist...and that as a longtime reader, though I (like your customer today) am gay, I think I could go straight for you. Especially if you're willing to listen to Cat Power and The Sex Pistols while foolin around.
These are the best!!! <3
here's a follow up on my previous h-bomb comment (you'll get it after you watch the clip)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHVEDq6RVXc
I used to work for Argus. With Cigna we were pretty much just a receptionist. Unless it was a person code problem or maybe BIN/PCN, we told everyone to call Cigna. We used to be able to do more things like over rides, but for good reasons Cigna doesn't trust Argus with that power.
Kind of the same thing with Humana, only Humana is sometimes more clueless than the people at Argus.
Anne,
Check out the updated playlist....
Thank you for this post. I had a rotten weekend at work, and you made me laugh. God, I needed a good laugh. I love you Drugmonkey.
MJ
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