My Employer Hates America.

First it was insulting Jesus by having me work on his birthday.

Although really, being an atheist, that shouldn't have been a problem for me.

But then, they insulted our troops by forcing me to work on Memorial Day.

Actually, I don't have a problem with insulting the troops either.

But now......now......the corporate suits that write my paycheck have gone too far. They have insulted each and every one of us. You, your family, your pets, and most importantly, me, by having The Drugmonkey sling pills on the birthday of the country that belongs to us all, even Christians and troops. Obviously my employer longs to reverse history and would have us all living under the tyranny represented by the reign of Queen Elizabeth. Imagine.....imagine! Forcing me to engage in shameless commerce on the day set aside to honor this great nation.

Press Conference by the President
Indian Treaty Room

December 20, 2006

"......The unemployment rate has remained low, at 4.5 percent. A recent report on retail sales shows a strong beginning to the holiday shopping season across the country -- and I encourage you all to go shopping more."

Fuck. I suppose I shouldn't be making any plans for Labor Day either.