I Do Drug Topics A Favor, Because Reading Their Magazine Is Starting To Hurt My Eyes.

This is an entire article from the Latebreakers section of the profession's leading trade magazine. I have changed not a word:

Can metered-dose inhalers containing flunisolide, triamcinolone, metaproterenol, pirbuterol, albuterol and ipratropium in combination, cromolyn, and nedocromil be phased out because they harbor ozone-depleting substances? If there are alternate products that provide the same benefits as these drugs, they are nonessential and can be removed from the market by, say, Dec. 31, 2009, after a transition period. So proposed the FDA in the June 11 Federal Register. The agency said it would hold a public meeting to discuss this matter. For now, please send your comments to the FDA by Aug. 10.

I think an illiterate idiot to English translation would go something like this:

The FDA proposed in the June 11th Federal Register that metered dose inhalers containing flunisolide, triamcinolone, metaproterenol, pirbuterol, albuterol and ipratropium in combination, cromolyn, and nedocromil that use ozone depleting substances (ODS) be phased out by Dec. 31, 2009. The agency says these inhalers are now nonessential because there are alternate products that provide the same health benefits without using ODS. FDA will hold a public meeting to discuss the matter at a future date and will be taking comments until Aug. 10th. at http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/default.htm Enter docket number 2006N-0454.

That took me less than 5 minutes, including looking up where to actually leave a comment. Which means at my current rate of pay Drug Topics, you could have had something both readable and useful in your magazine for less than $5.

Why am I so hard on Drug Topics? Because they suck. And I am bitter about the fact I have yet to get paid to write, which makes me mean. And because Trader Joe's quit carrying my favorite brand of scotch, which makes me meaner.

I'm very mean when don't get my scotch.