Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Tribute To Frosty, The Most Selfless Of Water-Based Life Forms.

He kept up appearances for the children. That is the epitaph to remember Frosty The Snowman by always. Frosty loved the children. 

Frosty knew the sun was hot that day. He knew his fate. But Frosty chose to spend what remained of his time living, not dying. He took his broomstick and he ran here and there, around the square, leading the nation's children into a rebellion not of street gangs, violent crime, teenage pregnancy or any of the other social ills that plague our youth, but a rebellion of joy. 

He even paused for a moment when the town square's traffic cop called for him to stop, for Frosty was at his core a good and decent soul.

Frosty is gone now, a victim of seasonal change and global warming. Most of his corpse is scattered in the vast nothingness of this planet's oceans, some of it refroze and may be trapped glacially for millennia, some is locked underground, and some may be carrying away the sewage of the fetid masses of humanity, but the magical moment he gave our children will never die. Which is why I hope.... no, which is why I know, that someday Frosty will know the magic that is a trip over Yosemite falls. 

I think I may have just peed out a piece of Frosty.  

8 comments:

cupcake said...

i almost snarfed my morning coffee, you bastard! this is the stuff of greatness. hahahahahaha

Mrs. Newlywed said...

This may be the funniest post I have read all Christmas season.

midwest said...

somedays it can't happen soon enough...awesome snowman but what is that green thing that's jis nose?

The little tech that does... said...

I miss being a kid.

Anonymous said...

OMG, I seriously can not stop laughing! The picture alone had me started, but your writing was just too much! You are awesome!! Laughing is supposed to make you healthier, so I feel like I should pay you money or something for my preventative care.

Anonymous said...

Master of All Things Pharmacy..

I wanna use that picture as a Holiday card, and send it to all my bible thumping relatives that drive me crazy all year.

Also, my local pharmacist totally saved my ass yesterday. My idiot GP wrote out a script for albuterol with no amount and no dose. The pharmacy tried the all day, the day before to track this retard down.

My asthma and pneumonia went to shit yesterday, and I crawled into the pharmacy (hoping) the script was filled. Nope. Then the one tech said this is shit, and actually tracked down Mr. MD.

I would have have wound up in the ER last night without the albuterol. Ran the nebulizer a few times and saved the $1000+ ER bill.

If it would have been you, I'd bring a bottle of scotch. Since the Pharmacist doesn't drink (born again Christian), I went to the local bakery and brought in brownies, angel wings (type of deep fried cookies with powdered sugar on them) and gingerbread men for all the pharmacy staff.

They were shocked. "You didn't have to do this". Yes I did. They deserve more because the pharmacy had at least 10 customers all crowded around the counter scream why the hell it was taking so long to fill their Ritalin, Xanax etc etc etc......

I hope they enjoyed the cookies....

LD 50 Lab Rat

neumeindil said...

Bet that was chilly...

The Alert Reader said...

Another tribute to Frosty...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/04/worlds-smallest-snowman-p_n_380296.html

Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown