If anyone out there knows a good Realtor, please drop me a line.
The sixth voice mail message was, in it's entirety, "I just need my Premarin filled, that's the only message I have" That was every bit of information someone out there thought I needed to fill their prescription. So I just filled some random person's Premarin and declared mission accomplished.
The first written prescription of the day was for Tobradex, which Tricare, the entity responsible for protecting the health of those we've hired to snuff out the health of others, seems to believe is available in a generic form. It is not. Woe to the pharmacist who gets a prescription for Tobradex that is to be billed to Tricare, that is all I can say. Although navigating the Tricare, ahem, "help" desk is a good way to kill an hour. If only I could look out of my window at home and see the people of Tricare in the parking lot.
First numbnut question of the day came during the hour I was doing battle with the entity that covers the people who do battle; "WHERE ARE THE COTTON BALLS????" screamed in the ear that wasn't on hold.
"Aisle two, under the sign that says cotton balls"
The customer then thanked me for insulting them. Be very careful about pulling this maneuver my friends, and don't ever do it unless you have the security of a pharmacist license.
The community college dropout who runs the cash office gave us a register drawer with no nickels, thereby providing a clue as to why he didn't make the community college cut. "We need change in the pharmacy" called my trusty technician.
Someone tried to phone in a fake prescription for Vicodin with instructions "must last one month" I thought that was a nice touch.
Actual question from an actual customer: "Yeah, on this painkiller here, it says to take 1 or 2 every 6 hours, how will I know when I should take 2?"
Think that was the dumbest question I had all day? Not even close. Here's the days winner:
"This label says to take 1 tablet. How do I take 1 tablet?"
I shit you not. I spent a good week memorizing the Krebs cycle some time in 1990 so I could be prepared to tell someone how to take a tablet.
"We need change in the pharmacy" called out my technician.
I was once again given a demonstration that my lingual skills are not nearly cunning enough as the old Hispanic man showed me a box of Monistat and asked "Will she still be a lady?"
I really didn't think the old man thought the Monistat was some sort of over the counter sex change device, but I was without a clue as to what he was trying to ask, until my trusty technician stepped in. "He wants to know if she'll still be a virgin" she said. I should have known, as the word "Monistat" does translate loosely into Spanish as "filthy cum-drenched whore"
Customer to me: "Do you have a fever? You look like you have a fever." They then moved on down the aisle, never giving me a chance to tell them if I had a fever or not.
My trusty technician once again called for change in the pharmacy, but change did not come, the only result of her pleas were that they brought nickels and ones and pennies, but not once did they bring any fundamental change, so it looks like I am destined for more of the same tomorrow.
Stick with the Gyne-Lotrimin if you want to maintain your virginity.