Monday, September 07, 2009

Day 6 Of Pill Counting Action.

Karma set her gentle hands upon me and nudged me into consciousness early this day. I knew not why, but I know better than to fight Karma when Karma has plans for you. I pulled back the blinds and was bathed in the brilliant sunshine of a California coastal morning. Perhaps Karma meant to mock me this workday. To force me to look at her brilliance. That didn't seem right though. That's so unlike Karma. I put my fate in her hands and began my day.

I heard it before I even walked through the front door. "WHAT TIME DOES THE PHARMACY OPEN??? I HAVE A TEE TIME!!!!!" It was at that moment I realized why Karma had set me in motion this day earlier than usual. Karma wanted me to go to Starbucks and have a cup of coffee. Bitching about your tee time is probably the best way to ensure that I open right on time when I am running early.

Not that I have anything against golf. it's more the type of assholes who play golf I have something against.

The first prescription of the day was for 36 mg of Concerta, a stimulant used to treat children whose parents suffer from codependency, and 25mg of Ambien, a sleep aid. Right there on the same blank written at the same time by the same doctor. It reminded me of a story I read once about how prison guards would, for their own entertainment, put one inmate from the Crips and one from the Bloods in the yard at the same time knowing they would fight it out gladiator style. I wondered if the doctor just wanted to see which drug would win.

The phone rang and the person said "Oh, I have the wrong number, I wanted to phone in some prescription refills" and hung up. The next caller didn't hang up, and asked me if we carried basketballs. After that though, came the best call of all:

"Oh....is (insert name of other pharmacist) there?"

"No, it's her day off"

"I'll just call back later"

You would have to know this particular customer to know just how sweet those words sounded. She is trained. Finally, I am free.

Or maybe not. The "clank....clank.....clank..." of the walker making its way up the tile floor announced the entry of another person into my life.

"I'M TIRED OF TRYING TO DEAL WITH THOSE CLOWNS AT CVS!!! I WANT TO GO TO THE BEST!!!! ARE YOU THE BEST?"

I don't think I lied to him really. I'm definitely the best pharmacy in this mall. Probably the best within a 10 block area or so. He wasn't all that specific, and I'm sure as shit a step up from that goddamn CVS, which is, in fact, manned by clowns. Sometimes I think the whole reason CVS is profitable is because of the humongous tax credits they must receive for hiring the handicapped.

"I LIKE YOU!!!!" Was the last thing walker man said to me before he clanked out the door. I was free for about an hour. Karma giveth and Karma taketh away.

I'm thinking Concerta would shank Ambien and totally make Ambien its bitch.

9 comments:

Rev. T. Monkey said...

"Sometimes I think the whole reason CVS is profitable is because of the humongous tax credits they must receive for hiring the handicapped."

I thought I was the only one.

Christine-Megan said...

25 mg of Ambien?

Damn.

kath8562 said...

Well, being the fact that the Concerta's the right strength, and it's a CII, one would think that trumps the Ambien. However, doesn't a CII have to be written on a separate blank of its own (or maybe that's just my state's law)?

Anonymous said...

The reason CVS is profitable is that they have a lot of pharmacists on H1B visas which CVS holds. They cannot go anywhere else unless someone else picks up the sponsorship of the visa

A'mee said...

25 mg of Ambien?!?!?!? Was this a death with dignity prescription??

Anonymous said...

Hmm, I'll go with the ambien OD leads to somnambulation and it meets up with the concerta and causes...speed somnambulation.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Chain #2, keep handing out those gift cards to retain customers with your shitty customer service.

There's a reason CVS is leading the retail drug market.

NorCal CphT said...

I have decided that if you ever decide to relocate to Northern California, you MUST come to work with me!! The day would go by so much faster because I'd be laughing so much!

Anonymous said...

As a clown at CVS, thank you.. thank you thank you thank you thank you..