I heard it before I even walked through the front door. "WHAT TIME DOES THE PHARMACY OPEN??? I HAVE A TEE TIME!!!!!" It was at that moment I realized why Karma had set me in motion this day earlier than usual. Karma wanted me to go to Starbucks and have a cup of coffee. Bitching about your tee time is probably the best way to ensure that I open right on time when I am running early.
Not that I have anything against golf. it's more the type of assholes who play golf I have something against.
The first prescription of the day was for 36 mg of Concerta, a stimulant used to treat children whose parents suffer from codependency, and 25mg of Ambien, a sleep aid. Right there on the same blank written at the same time by the same doctor. It reminded me of a story I read once about how prison guards would, for their own entertainment, put one inmate from the Crips and one from the Bloods in the yard at the same time knowing they would fight it out gladiator style. I wondered if the doctor just wanted to see which drug would win.
The phone rang and the person said "Oh, I have the wrong number, I wanted to phone in some prescription refills" and hung up. The next caller didn't hang up, and asked me if we carried basketballs. After that though, came the best call of all:
"Oh....is (insert name of other pharmacist) there?"
"No, it's her day off"
"I'll just call back later"
You would have to know this particular customer to know just how sweet those words sounded. She is trained. Finally, I am free.
Or maybe not. The "clank....clank.....clank..." of the walker making its way up the tile floor announced the entry of another person into my life.
"I'M TIRED OF TRYING TO DEAL WITH THOSE CLOWNS AT CVS!!! I WANT TO GO TO THE BEST!!!! ARE YOU THE BEST?"
I don't think I lied to him really. I'm definitely the best pharmacy in this mall. Probably the best within a 10 block area or so. He wasn't all that specific, and I'm sure as shit a step up from that goddamn CVS, which is, in fact, manned by clowns. Sometimes I think the whole reason CVS is profitable is because of the humongous tax credits they must receive for hiring the handicapped.
"I LIKE YOU!!!!" Was the last thing walker man said to me before he clanked out the door. I was free for about an hour. Karma giveth and Karma taketh away.
I'm thinking Concerta would shank Ambien and totally make Ambien its bitch.