The Pill Counting Parade Continues.

Why would you ask that? Seriously. If it's 9:00, and you're at the pharmacy, and you see me cranking open the gates, key words......cranking open.......why on Earth would you ask.....

Remember it's 9:00. Pretty much on the button.

......"what time does the pharmacy open?" Shouldn't you be able to at least formulate a pretty good guess based on observational data? And maybe not interrupt me while I'm in the process of opening?

I seriously can't think of a stupider question right now. It's definitely the dumbest one I've been asked in years.

First prescription of the day was for 10 vials of Humalog that had been billed for one. Which means within the first five minutes of business I saved more than an entire days worth of profit. Because I am all about capitalism and profit. How this place functioned before they had the wisdom to hire me I'll never know.

One of the first customers of the day to my trusty technician: "I don't have anything? Good....because I don't need anything, but I thought the computer called me." I seriously think the customer would have bought whatever the computer told them to. The Unabomber tried to tell us this day was coming. Your future enslavement to the machines will be my opportunity for wealth however, because in my never ending pursuit of profit, I think I am going to start a program where I call people in a robotic-sounding voice and order them to come to the store and buy shit.

I think I'll tell them to buy nail clippers. I will not be happy until every person you see on the street is wearing a set of nail clippers around their neck.

A professional dilemma. You overhear a customer ask where the Icy Hot is because he wants to put it on his blood clot. Do you investigate? Find out why he thinks he has a blood clot? Marvel at his ability to walk and talk while some part of his body has evidently been cut off from the vital nourishment that is free flowing blood in its liquid form? Tell him that Icy Hot may be the least effective clot busting drug ever, but the only one covered on the Cigna Health Care formulary?* While I was pondering this the phone rang and I had to take a prescription and my cashier told him Icy Hot was down aisle three. I guess karma really didn't think my involvement was required.

My technician asked me "So what are you doing all weekend?" Offending the three chickies at the condom rack who assumed she was talking to them. I'd be offended too. Who says you can't have sex during the week?

Towards the end of the day came the Great Cash Register Summit. The Assistant Manager who's been an Assistant Manager for 10 years came back to take the register till to the office. She couldn't get the drawer to pop open. She tried this. Then that. Then this again. And again. And again. You've heard the old saying about the definition of insanity being doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? I always knew that Assistant Manager was bat-shit crazy, and now I had proof. She called the other manager with less than a quarter of her experience to solve the problem. They defined themselves as insane a few more times before they decided to reboot the register. Part of me wanted to help. Kind of. But it was so damn entertaining, and I was kind of offended when they decided to bring the rookie cashier back to ask his insight. It was a full scale summit now. A meeting of the minds. The computers can successfully order us to come in and buy stuff but we are incapable of getting them to open the cash register drawer. The handwriting is on the wall my friends.

The drawer popped open while a woman battling a refill too soon reject had my attention. I will never know all the details of the great cash register summit.

The day ended with a guy popping his head under the gate as I was cranking it shut to ask what time we closed. For some reason that didn't bother me as much.

*That was a joke. I'm sure Cigna covers effective clot dissolving medication. I'm also sure they denied coverage for a teenager's liver transplant and then she died. Wait. That wasn't fair. Cigna did change their minds and decide to pay for the transplant. A few hours before she died. Cigna says "This decision was made despite the fact that Cigna had no obligation to do so and despite concluding, based on the information available, that the treatment would be unproven and ineffective and therefore experimental and not covered by the employer's benefit plan,"

Awww.....isn't Cigna sweet? They decided to let a teenage girl try to live even though they had no obligation to do so.

A public health plan would have an obligation to do so. Just sayin'