The End Of The Bill Monning Pill Counting Highlight Parade.

I have a picture of an old lady's leg on my cellphone. It's bare and pasty white and I think it's full of varicose veins but I can't stand to look at it long enough to tell. It's on my phone. The phone that goes with me everywhere. The phone that is sitting 2 feet from me now while I type. It has a picture of a disgusting old woman's leg. And I can't delete it until I get an OK from a lawyer.

I saw and barely heard her bump into the tote and I immediately looked away. Because if that had been me that knocked my shin on a plastic box I would have been embarrassed to have had anyone witness such idiotic clumsiness. Embarrassment was the furthest thing from her mind however.

OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! it went. Or something like that. I looked at her again and expected her to be on fire or something. She wasn't. As soon as the word "negligent" came out of her mouth I knew her game. I also knew to keep my mouth shut and let the manager who's been to corpro-seminars on how to deal with customers who say "OW!" and "negligent" in the same sentence deal with the situaltion. Soon she was in the waiting area surrounded by three people taking care of her every need. Forms were being filled out. I had to write what I saw. It went something like. "I was filling prescriptions and the lady hit her shin on a tote" I think that annoyed her and that's when she demanded we take a picture.

There was no designated store camera and the manager looked at me. Dammitall. He is a good guy, and the, ahem, "victim" was actually screwing herself here, as the picture would show not a damn thing wrong with her leg. So I handed over my cellphone and they took a goddamn picture of the old bat's leg. And now it's with me. Always.

God forbid a hot chick should ever sustain a breast injury in my place of employment.

The next bout of screaming I heard came from the opposite end of the age spectrum. A little boy was having a fit over ice cream. He didn't want any and his mother was telling him she was buying some whether he wanted it or not. It wasn't the flavor he had a problem with, the little dude just didn't feel like eating ice cream at the moment. I swear. This in the same week I witnessed a customer panic at the prospect that I might fill his Vicodin prescription. I think I may have unknowingly slipped into some sort of bizzaro altrna-pharmacy universe at some point in the last few days. I think. What I know now for sure now though, is that I would not be the world's worst parent.

As I reached the point in the day when "Jesus when do I get to go home" becomes "Jesus I'm not gonna get everything done before the end of the day" I got a prescription for an AnaKit. Holy hell the thought of an AnaKit hadn't crossed my mind in years. The little red box that had once been packed in the luggage of every little yard ape with an allergy to bee stings had at some point had its clock cleaned by the EpiPen and I had failed to notice. I looked at the prescription for the AnaKit and remembered skinny ties, hair bands, my first beer, and Whitney Houston. Oh my God at one time I thought Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman in the world. I thought of a time when it would have been incomprehensible that I would be carrying around a picture of an ugly old woman's leg with me everywhere I went. I was surprised how a prescription could take you back to the best years of your life that are never coming back. I was kinda sad as the call was made to change it to an EpiPen. I wish I could dispense an AnaKit one last time.

So thanks for coming through for Bill Monning the way you did. I saw him the other day and he made it a point to come over and chat me up a little bit. Said that things should be settling down in the legislature in a few months and then it would be a good time to start brainstorming about what we might like to see from our representatives. Are you getting this? Thanks to you guys we now have this man's ear. Lets use it. I have some ideas for what I would like to see state government do for our profession, but by all means send me yours. Post them here, send them in an e-mail, start a discussion. We have someone on our side who's listening. For the love of God let's say something.