That came from the Bible. I have no problem ripping off God when I need material for my blog.
My label printer died this day. It wasn't a surprise. We've all seen it was very sick for quite awhile now. It pained me to watch the label printer go through its final phases. Mysterious farting noises, unresponsiveness, chronic misalignment indicative of delusional confusion. It pained me mostly because it meant I had to do three times as much work to get a label on every goddamn vial that was going out the door. My label printer's pain is over now, the heroic efforts of my employer's electronic maintenance department to save the $60 or so it probably would have cost them to replace it weeks ago have come to naught. The carcass of my label printer was carried out this afternoon.
Fucking piece of shit.
If only the printer would have had the robust health of the store's public address system. Not a damn thing wrong with that piece of equipment. And it's not the least bit shy either, never hesitating to announce something like "I NEED A PRICECHECK ON HEINZ KETCHUP 32 OUNCE TWINPACK!!!!!" every other time I am talking to a person about their prescription or trying to decode a doctor's message on the voicemail. Today the overbearing obnoxiousness of the PA system had the added bonus of seemingly being maned by a drunk woman. Seriously. I know drunkenness like few other subjects my friends, and the lady up front totally gave the impression of having hit up the sauce. I summoned one of the high-school age clerks pretending to stock the shelves.
"Hey.....hey B____, go smell N_____"
"What?"
"Seriously. She sounds totally drunk. See if you can smell it on her breath. Ask if you can borrow a pen or something."
This is why it's great to be at a level above that of regular worker, but not quite that of management expected to run things. Because I can send people up to sniff the front end checker not out of any concern for the well being of the store, but solely for self-amusement purposes.
The sniff test came back negative. I am still working on alternate explanations.
I do do professional stuff though. Like help the man who told me he got an antibiotic the other day and was sure "it has just decimated my system" He then asked if I knew anything about Amoxicillin. I explained to him Amoxicillin does tend to come up in our profession's schooling and then listened for a good 3 or 4 minutes how he had "this thing that's up in my sinuses, and down in my throat and you know.....cough cough. The cough was faked for my benefit. The monologue ended with. "I've been getting better the last three days"
Just to help my colleagues out there reading this. Forget the definition of "decimated" you may have learned in high school. It now means "isn't curing me quite as fast as I'd like to be cured"
My technician asked for help reading the directions on a prescription she was typing.
"Prior to semen collection" I told her. She then washed her hands.
The day ended with another reminder of the fragility of life. My pen died a natural death. This was a surprise. Pens in my world as a rule have short, violent existences. They are chewed on from the moment they enter my hands. Their points are slammed against prescription pads when nurses make my life far harder than it should be and they were at one time quite often thrown across the room. Nowadays they are usually thrown straight into the floor so fewer people see. The Azor pen made it all the way to the end of its ink cartridge today though. It was a tough bastard, and it will be missed.
Not as much as if I hadn't scored a new Viagra pen though. Karma has seen fit to provide me with a new Viagra pen and that means this goes down in the books as a good day.
The Viagra pen won't be chewed on though, as I can't seem to put the Viagra pen in my mouth. Not that there would be anything wrong with that.
My label printer died this day. It wasn't a surprise. We've all seen it was very sick for quite awhile now. It pained me to watch the label printer go through its final phases. Mysterious farting noises, unresponsiveness, chronic misalignment indicative of delusional confusion. It pained me mostly because it meant I had to do three times as much work to get a label on every goddamn vial that was going out the door. My label printer's pain is over now, the heroic efforts of my employer's electronic maintenance department to save the $60 or so it probably would have cost them to replace it weeks ago have come to naught. The carcass of my label printer was carried out this afternoon.
Fucking piece of shit.
If only the printer would have had the robust health of the store's public address system. Not a damn thing wrong with that piece of equipment. And it's not the least bit shy either, never hesitating to announce something like "I NEED A PRICECHECK ON HEINZ KETCHUP 32 OUNCE TWINPACK!!!!!" every other time I am talking to a person about their prescription or trying to decode a doctor's message on the voicemail. Today the overbearing obnoxiousness of the PA system had the added bonus of seemingly being maned by a drunk woman. Seriously. I know drunkenness like few other subjects my friends, and the lady up front totally gave the impression of having hit up the sauce. I summoned one of the high-school age clerks pretending to stock the shelves.
"Hey.....hey B____, go smell N_____"
"What?"
"Seriously. She sounds totally drunk. See if you can smell it on her breath. Ask if you can borrow a pen or something."
This is why it's great to be at a level above that of regular worker, but not quite that of management expected to run things. Because I can send people up to sniff the front end checker not out of any concern for the well being of the store, but solely for self-amusement purposes.
The sniff test came back negative. I am still working on alternate explanations.
I do do professional stuff though. Like help the man who told me he got an antibiotic the other day and was sure "it has just decimated my system" He then asked if I knew anything about Amoxicillin. I explained to him Amoxicillin does tend to come up in our profession's schooling and then listened for a good 3 or 4 minutes how he had "this thing that's up in my sinuses, and down in my throat and you know.....cough cough. The cough was faked for my benefit. The monologue ended with. "I've been getting better the last three days"
Just to help my colleagues out there reading this. Forget the definition of "decimated" you may have learned in high school. It now means "isn't curing me quite as fast as I'd like to be cured"
My technician asked for help reading the directions on a prescription she was typing.
"Prior to semen collection" I told her. She then washed her hands.
The day ended with another reminder of the fragility of life. My pen died a natural death. This was a surprise. Pens in my world as a rule have short, violent existences. They are chewed on from the moment they enter my hands. Their points are slammed against prescription pads when nurses make my life far harder than it should be and they were at one time quite often thrown across the room. Nowadays they are usually thrown straight into the floor so fewer people see. The Azor pen made it all the way to the end of its ink cartridge today though. It was a tough bastard, and it will be missed.
Not as much as if I hadn't scored a new Viagra pen though. Karma has seen fit to provide me with a new Viagra pen and that means this goes down in the books as a good day.
The Viagra pen won't be chewed on though, as I can't seem to put the Viagra pen in my mouth. Not that there would be anything wrong with that.
8 comments:
Please oh please explain as my brain will be going overtime trying to figure this one out: WHAT prescription medication or device is used prior to semen collection?
In a PC moment, I collected all my free pens and useful gimmicks to give away to worthy charities. Only later did Sr. Helen Rita mention that her Order would not be accepting anymore free Cialis pens.
DM, you do do professional stuff though? :)
I have a Lipitor pen. It's actually really nice. Heavy for a ballpoint pen and writes very smoothly. If I chewed it my tooth would break probably. It's going on a year and a half now.
OT: I made my first visit to a compounding pharmacy yesterday (at least it was the first time I knew it was a compounding pharmacy; I hear they're getting rare).
I had a very sick parrot that required meds. The vet called to tell me the drugs were ready and where the pharmacy was. I drove across town, where the pharmacist said the drugs weren't ready but he could try to push them to the front of the line and it would be at least an hour.
An hour!!! I'm used to hearing 20 minutes at my local grocery pharmacy.
But it was a nice day, so I said okay and went off to amuse myself at the strip mall.
I had a nice chat with the pharmacist an hour later; evidently he does compounding for most of the vets in the area as well as for humans plus the usual pill-counting stuff. He's what I always used to think pharmacists were -- someone who mixed stuff up right there in the sink (so to speak) and put it into little brown bottles with a pasted-on label.
He spent probably too much time demonstrating the new bottle design and how to slip the syringe in the cap for an easier pull and where the think black line was marked at the correct cc's and how to store, etc., much of which I already knew but appreciated hearing again anyway.
It was very nice to be in the presence of someone who actually makes drugs and knows all the stuff you have to know to make drugs. It really does seem like an awesome profession to have.
Y'all have a great holiday weekend!
Hey (well that's for horses, my high school principal always used to say, hell, he probably still does), I really hope that your week of pill counting action isn't over just because the week is over. I believe a week is 7 days long so I think 7 posts of pill counting action are in order. I'm not going to lie, your "Pill Counting Action" posts are my favorite, because they are funny. However, your "An Insider's View Of The Profession" topics have taught me more than my years of retail and pharmacy school, so I look to you for much needed info. I am becoming quite anxious to hear about your take on the 'ghost writing,' but I still yearn for a "Highlights" post. I would rather hear about the ghost writing, but that doesn't mean you don't owe me 4 more days of pill counting action. :)
I still have a Trovan pen. It outlived the damn drug.
Was it one of those Viagra pens that folds in half and then slowly becomes "erect" again? I had one of those. It was AWESOME.
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