Monday, May 26, 2008

Dipping Into The Mailbag And Feeling The Love Gives Another Teachable Moment About Republicans And Their Similarity To Humans.

Got this one in reaction to my fake story about Jenna Bush's selfless self-sacrifice on the battlefields of her Daddy's war:

Not sure why you even choose to write a blog like that. What a waste of keyboarding. Being a pharmacist, I know you make good money. Not that President Bush has made the right calls at every juncture, but the candidate you endorse is from a party that supports income redistribution, er, taxation. I would think that your education combined with your pay stub would cause you to be a little more protective of what YOU earned and less interested in what the next fatty on welfare who comes into your pharmacy with a nicer cell phone and $0.00 copay can reap from your hard work.
This is trick #1 in the Republican playbook my friends. Allow me to translate from Republican-talk to English:

Drugmonkey, you make a valid point about the war in Iraq, and how the people who started it are in no way prepared to make any of the sacrifices they ask of others. I can offer nothing to counter the actual point you made, so therefore I will write condescendingly about a topic never mentioned in the actual post I am pretending to react to. The condescending, fact-free manner of my writing will allow me to feel intelligent without the downside risk of being proven wrong.


Republicans use this maneuver often, thinking they can catch you off guard by pretending the subject they pulled out of their ass is the same one you were talking about. They also love to use the mythical fat welfare recipient who somehow lives a better live than you as a trump card. The fact we've pissed away twice as many dollars in the pointless Iraq war as we spend on the entire medicaid system never sinks into their heads. The only function of the federal government in their eyes is providing money to fat people with ipods. They are blind to the army, the navy, the coast guard, the national parks, the Food and Drug Adminstration, the interstate highway system, and air traffic controllers. They seem to think the only people to whom the federal government has ever paid a dime are overweight and unemployed.

They also ignore the fact that people on welfare get a lot less after Bill Clinton reformed the system in 1996.

They ignore it because it stands in the way of their hate. Republicans have to have someone to kick down so they can be assured they are not on the bottom.

I prefer to kick up. At the bastards who started this war. Kick up at the people who make it impossible for a single working mother to get decent day care so she can start to make her way past all the bootheels being aimed at her jaw. Kick up at the forces that pay me $1.50 to fill a $175 dollar prescription.

Your enemies are not below you my friends. Your hatred properly directed should flow upwards.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is good to see that someone can translate the massive amount of bullshit that flows from the average Republican's mouth. Perhaps, as a method of getting out of the dreaded profession, you could teach classes to Intelligent people on how to translate republican crap?

Anonymous said...

Bravo, DM, Bravo!

Anonymous said...

Good God. How on earth could someone who makes money care about people who make less? What are you, some kind of hippy?

Anonymous said...

Amen, brother!

pemdas said...

I got a nice lil' Memorial Day present from my Dad. My dad is retired Air Force.

He asked me "What are you doing with an Obama sticker on your car?" Oh oh, here it comes. I counter with "I bet you are voting for McCain. All you military guys stick together." He shakes his head and sez "nope." I almost fell off my chair. Wha? He'd never vote for Nader. Who then? "Why not?" I query. "Because he's the same as Bush." Holy moly! He continues "I'll vote for either Obama or Hillary. I guess it'll be Obama."

woolywoman said...

Oh, DM, just when I think you've become too crustacean- like, you go and post something lovely. Sniff.

Splat and Antisplat said...

I hope you're wearing clean shoes because I'm about to kiss your feet.

Splat and Antisplat said...

http://digg.com/political_opinion/Republicans_and_Their_Similarity_to_Humans_DrugMonkey

Dugg.

DrugMonkey, Master of Pharmacy said...

billfer,

So...I'll admit I'm still not quite sure how this digg thing works. I've been meaning to look into it for awhile. But I'm pretty sure getting dug is a good thing. Thanks.

Sarah said...

"They ignore it because it stands in the way of their hate. "

That is exactly what it is, too. Hate. I am one of those welfare recipients, in their book. It is hard to imagine that a family could have two working parents and yet still receive some sort of welfare. In my family we have two working parents, and two special needs kids. We receive day care assistance, SSI, Medicaid for one child and Medicaid Waiver for the other child. That assistance allows us to live in a three bedroom townhome (considered "affordable housing", no one with money would fight to live where I live but we love it!) instead of a cramped two bedroom apartment. It also ensures that my child has the supports he needs at home and in the community, because primary health insurance doesn't pay for it. That support also allows myself and my partner to work, because without it our child care would be over 50% of our wages.

So we receive welfare, but we are also educated members of society who are giving back. I am a technical writer and he is a music tutor who teaches disadvantaged younger kids (and some older more advantaged kids as well!) We both have credit (which isn't overblown or overused.) We both have cars (although one is much nicer than the other.) We spend money in the community. We don't have the nicest of things, but we do have choices.

When people rag on welfare, they rag on what brings our family up and out of poverty. When people rag on welfare, they rag on people who are disadvantaged. It is always easy to pick on the little people. Just wait until they or their spouse has a stroke and they realize how much a nursing home costs. Suddenly even the most successful are forced to spend down their life savings on medical bills so they, too, can be on the almighty Medicaid. It is a social system, and while intended for the poor, sometimes you are impoverished on the way to getting there.
Oh, and as a side note, despite being a family that receives some types of welfare assistance, not one of us is overweight.

Anne said...

That's the thing--it's basic intellectual laziness. Using the kicking metaphor--how hard is it to kick someone who's down already? Not hard at all, though in every circumstance but conservative debate it's considered poor form. Kicking up, on the other hand--well, let's just say not everyone has the fortitude to be a Rockette (I just had a mental image of DM in the labcoat and fishnets, high-kicking...ahem. Sorry).

Anonymous said...

i always get confused when i talk to a republican because i've been wrongly assuming there's a valid point somewhere...it's all so clear now! thanks drug monkey:)