I had been in the happy pill room not 5 minutes when someone asked for my opinion. About the new Diet Coke with lime. I figured what the hell, the credibility of five years of college coupled with passing a licensure exam designed for people with six ought to count for something, so I gave him my opinion. I've never had lime flavored Diet Coke in my life, but I told the man it was good stuff. People like it when you keep things positive.
Later on a actual real medical doctor did ask for an actual real medical opinion. My answer was interrupted by a man shouting at the top of his lungs that he needed a carburetor for his car.
It's important to point out here that he specifically said it was for his car, as they started using fuel injectors in place of carburetors in automobiles around the time Reagan became president. It's also worth noting that they were never sold in drugstores. I'm really glad they did away with the glass enclosed pharmacy. Otherwise I would miss out on the carburetor questions and have to listen to the doctors instead.
I am so done with perfect skin woman. She came in today and she had cut her hair. What once was long and flowing to the middle of her back does not now even reach her shoulders. I'm going to grow a big zit in retaliation.
Actual question from an actual customer: "Is tetracycline bad for you?" Someday I will answer such a query with a simple "yes"
I had an actual customer with an actual first name of "Memory." She was dropping off a prescription for Aricept. The prescription was for her mother, but it was still pretty funny. Aricept is for Altzheimers disease.
The lady with the Percocet prescription was in sooooooooooo much pain she had to wait right by the cash register so she could have it as soon as possible. She literally moaned when my keystone tech told her it would be 20 minutes to fill the prescription and begged us to do it sooner because she was in so much pain. Then she parked herself right in front of that cash resister and waited through thick and thin. Through screaming babies and angry fellow customers who didn't appreciate her being 12 inches away. Through phone calls and insurance rebills, through a 10 minute discussion with a man about the best type of water pik to use, faithfully she waited by the cash register.
Until the cashier told her the Percocet was ready. At which point she decided to run to the other side of the store to get some Doritos. I can relate, although the kind of hurt for which I find Doritos to be effective is usually emotional.
Doritos can't hold a candle to the scotch though. And a river of it is now washing away this day.
8 comments:
Great post! Don't know how you guys keep your cool! Brother-in-law is pharmacist. Didn't take a sick day in 30 years. Company sold--offered him job as "floater" (up to 50 mi. radius). Another company heard his story, and he was workin' within a week, but is waiting patiently for retirement!
Really funny!
People are going to be hell no matter what! %)
She just had to get the doritos!
Love your post!! I've been a pharmacist for about 25 years and can totally relate! My favorite question of the week was "My doctor recommended a dandruff shampoo but I forget what he told me. Can you tell me which one he wanted me to get?" Dang! There are SO many times I wish I'd take that clairvoyancy class instead of Pharmacology!
Yes.. I'm in soooo much pain.. that's why I'm selling this shit down the street..
oooh.. it hurts,,, that's why I skip out of the store with my vicodin/lortab or if my Doc REALLY likes me oxycontin tightly held in my fist. I gobble them babies down like candy.. hmm.. candy pain pills.
People, people! How many times do I have to say this? Just make stuff up! Will tetracylcine hurt you. Yes! Next question! Have a little fun with your job. Putting up a sign that says 'free advice: $5.00' is the pharmacist equivalent of selling ice water in hell.
It doesn't matter that I never do this, just thinking about it makes life a little easier.
Perhaps I should offer Doritos to the next junkie who screams at me because our unit psychiatrist won't give them Percocet. I'm sure that will calm their psycho-craving for drugs.
Can pharmacists refused to fill rx if they think the patient is just selling them down the street?
Carburetor? How old was that guy? The last carburetor I ever had was in my hornet green 1972 Impala.
Don't understand the Percocet Lust. I have a full Rx of that crap decomposing in my bathroom cabinet. Didn't take the pain away, and just made me barfy. Not cut out to be a junkie, I guess.
Post a Comment