The day started with the following conversation overheard while I was preparing the happy pill room for the day's business:
Customer: WHERE ARE THE EAR PLUGS?
Assistant Manager: "Aisle four sir, on the right."
"WHAT?"
"Aisle 4, the one without a number, on the right"
"WHAT?"
"I'll show you."
"HUH?"
The earplugs, I fear, were coming far too late.
I long ago reached an understanding with the asshole who will interrupt me filling your prescription to ask where the paper plates are. Quite simply, that person is more important than you, and their desire to not look for products while shopping is more important than your well being. You should understand this as well. I do not, however, comprehend the person who feels the need to stop the prescription filling process to tell me they found something. Something that they did not ask me for any help locating. This person has wasted their own time as well as mine, and it happened twice today.
What has really saddened me this day though was my call to the Caremark help desk shortly before closing. It went something like this:
THANK YOU FOR CALLING CAREMARK!!!!! MY NAME IS HEATHER!!!! HOW CAN I HELP YOU???!!!!
Heather was perky, happy, polite, and courteous. She totally sounded like a Heather. It broke my heart.
At one point she apologized for some computer delay;
"No problem, it'll give me a chance to get some rest" I said with my Drugmonkey wit.
Heather giggled. "Yup...we all need to get our rest" she said, and I knew she was blonde and that it was her first day on the job.
Soon Heather's soul will be crushed by the likes of Drugmonkeys, Angry Pharmacists, and Angriest Pharmacists repeating what Angry Pharmacists said in slightly different ways. Because Heather works for an industry that is the spawn of Satan, and Heather doesn't realize this yet. I'm worried about Heather.
This was, of course, all played out against a constant background chorus of "IT'LL BE HOW LONG??"
You know what's next. It's scotch time. I hope the Angriest Pharmacist doesn't rip off this post.
8 comments:
You totally just made my night with that post.
The earplugs, I fear, were coming far too late.
Maybe they were replacements for the ones that disappeared down his ear canal.
Drug Monkey, I used to wonder if you drank too much. Now I'm not sure if you drink enough.
hehe! glad i read this post. made me laugh.
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Poor Heather. They will crush her all too soon.
I just got my new caremark card in the mail. Please tell me it is going to be ok...
I am so glad I found your blog. As a fellow pharmacist, I always said I never understood why a pharmacist hadnt written a book on all the stupid people we encounter.
Just to share with someone who will appreciate the completely blank expression on my face when I was asked today....
How would you know if a spider bit you in the vagina???
Apparently this lady had some pain in her hoo ha and simultaneously notices a spider in her room. Clearly following the laws of logic learned in 9th grade (you remember...if P then Q crap)IF the spider was in her room AND she had yahoo pain, THEN the itsy bitsy spider must have climbed up the water spout.
I'm not sure she deserved the deer in headlights response she got from me, but I really didnt have an answer. I cant for the life of me remember what cream you put on a black widow bite.....in the ooni
You may think Caremark is an evil company, but if you are a pharmacist it's a great place to work. Beat's the hell out of retail, believe me. I work in an office 9 to 5 like a regular person and have very little stress.
"I found the Rolaids!"
YEAAAHHH!! I wish we had a bell we can ring everytime someone uses common sense, looks at up the aisle signs that clearly tell them where products are located, and uses their thinking abilities and realizes.. "Hey.. rolaids must be the stomach aisle."
My favorite assholes were 2 gentleman on a Saturday afternoon and deadpan asked me at pick up.. "Do you have any beer in the back?"
Not wanting them to get my stash, since I surely needed it, I told them to ask the front cashier.
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