Thursday, September 06, 2007

Cunnilingus Gone Horribly Wrong.


An actual warning from the actual label of the Today Vaginal Contraceptive Sponge:

If swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away.

I shudder to think why this warning was necessary.

"Hello, Poison Control Center? I just swallowed a vaginal sponge. "

Poison Control Center: "Don't worry sir, contact with a small amount of the spermicide used in the sponge in the upper GI tract is unlikely to cause anything other than local irritation."

"No, I swallowed it. The whole thing."

"Yet somehow you managed to find and correctly dial our telephone number"

"Am I going to die?"

"With any luck"

8 comments:

Mother Jones RN said...

Oh my, God.....

I'm speechless. I'm laughing my butt off, but I'm still speechless.

Jenn Siva said...

nice pic

Anonymous said...

You needn't worry about suffering the same fate. I haven't decided if you are sponge-worthy... yet.

Pharmer Mike said...

"Don't worry, Sir. Your trouble will pass in a few days!" LOL

Shalom said...

One chain pharmacy where I used to work would extract the AA batteries from the single use cameras people would drop off at the 1-hour photo counter, before recycling them: hey, free batteries. We used to see all kinds of weird batteries in those cameras. One in particular that stuck in my mind was a Ray-O-Vac alkaline bearing the warning, "If battery is swallowed or becomes lodged in nose or ear, call a doctor immediately."

Do you know how hard it is to get a AA battery into your ear? If anyone does manage to get one stuck there, the doctor he calls ought to be a psychiatrist...

Anonymous said...

Well, I did once begin brushing my teeth with ortho gyno. It only took a moment to notice that it's not pepprmint flavored.

CrrlyGrrl said...

Geez...and I thought inserting it was the hard part.

Randall Sexton said...

Oh, God...and I swallow!