Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I Hate You Goddamn Independents.

Why? A little story from today's pill counting action will explain why.

The Drugmonkey was about half an hour behind getting people's crap out the door. The "high priority" stuff sat unmoved for longer than that, waiting for me to complete the "super high priority", "ultra high priority" and "extreme high priority" tasks that were in front of it. The phone was lit up like fucking Christmas. We were using the exact number of labor hours our corporate overlords had budgeted to take care of our customers. Just another day. Eventually I got around to answering one of the calls on the fucking Christmas phone and hear:

"Hello......this is J from Non-Corporate pharmacy in the next town over.....calling for a prescription transfer"

The voice was sweet and pleasant. It was the first time all day I had not heard hostility in a voice and it made me immediately hate her.

Our computer was on the verge of crashing and while I was waiting for it to show some sign of life I asked her how things were going. It would be better than silence I thought. I was wrong.

"Oh the funniest thing happened today. One of my regular customers sent over some flowers."

Some days, anytime I have an interaction with a customer that doesn't involve the f-word, I consider it a success.

What was slowing down my computer was the arrival of a batch of messages from corporate headquarters. They set our labor budget week by week, and next week we would have fewer hours to run the store. Another piece of me died while the friendly neighborhood pharmacist on the phone waited patiently for me to get my shit together. Bitch.

Listen up independent drugstores. I am a mean, vicious, petty man. That is why I hate you. If I have to be miserable under the yoke of corporate capitalism, then everyone has to be miserable. Got that? Damn you for being human, for treating customers as humans. You can compound your "bioidentical" bullshit estrogen to try and stay afloat all you want, but you are doomed in this era of cutting our way to every last possible dollar of profit. People must be treated like cattle, do you understand? Cattle!! One need only look to the airline industry or call your insurance company help desk to see the glorious future the free market will bring us. Now that the administration of President dipshit has joined Corporate America in the assault against you, your day of reckoning can only approach all the sooner. He will crush you just as efficiently as he crushed the insurgents who opposed him in Iraq. Yessir, once George the lessor declares something a priority, you can be sure that it will get done, welfare of the people be dammed. One need only look to the newly privatized social security system to see my point.

Wait. Awww crap.

Any of you guys hiring?


Nicholas said...

I'm hiring in Florida!

I'll be honest... I do not understand why anyone wants to work for a chain? I pay BETTER then the chains, and offer MORE benefits and MAYBE even some ownership...

Anonymous said...

Maybe we are doomed. Maybe not. Just finished my lunch (while sitting down away from the customers) and I still have time to get a chuckle from your blog. Time to kill ... while the techs fill the scripts. Oh, gotta go - time to check a script and "counsel" ... LOL.

Mr. Independent

Mother Jones RN said...

Poor DrugMonkey, maybe the corporate overlords will send you flowers because you are a good company slave. Well, maybe not. It would cut into their bottomline, and we simply can't have THAT happen. The Assholes.


Carol said...

Oh yeah. I quit the corporate rat race when H.Q. told me that dealing with union crazies was "too hard" for them to do and then castigated me for using the word "expect" when I told them that I "expected" them to do their job! I do free lance relief work now and boy am I happier!

stlcoptony said...

In response to what nicholas said, I don't any of the chains can beat walgreens benefits (like profit-sharing). However walgreens will still work you into having a heart attack at 40......

Mary Lu said...

Hey DMonkey,

You might want to check out Walmarts new pharmacy design. It's really thinking outside the box.


Mary Lu

Anonymous said...

Trust me - working at an independant pharmacy isn't always sunshine and roses. I receive no benefits, minimal pay, and an employer who only steps in the store after hours so she doesn't have to hear us ask for things like a vacuum cleaner or more staples. Plus she thinks it's great to use the stockroom as her own personal storage area. Every time I have to move the family Christmas tree to get to box of vials Walgreens looks better and better.
"Why stay?" you ask. The hours are too fabulous to pass up. Open at 9am close at 6pm on Monday thru Friday. Saturdays 9-noon. Closed on Sundays. If I could find a chain with those hours I'd leave in a heartbeat.

Anonymous said...

There are some crazy non-corporate pharmacies, too. I install and train pharmacy software for (mainly) independents and we have some stores that do 1600+ a day and it's pure chaos the whole time.