I mean, seriously, with all hell breaking loose in the economy the way it's been of late, wouldn't you think people would more likely want to associate with someone named Rich? I can't imagine any circumstances in which being a male sexual organ would be preferable to being wealthy. You ever take a good look at a penis? They ain't attractive.
Yet there is a candidate on my ballot this election by the name of Dick Searle. I'll tell you what Dick Searle is. Dick Searle is the name of a venereal disease, not that of a public officeholder.
What the hell. Maybe I'll just vote for him so I can make Dick Searle jokes for the next 4 years.
In other election news, I found out today Alan Keyes is running for president again! If you are a right wing lunatic or hard core Michael Moore fan, you may already know who Alan Keyes is. For the rest of you, I'll let you know Alan Keyes is responsible for what may be the single funniest moment in the history of television, the presidential mosh pit of 2000. I almost suffocated the first time I saw the presidential mosh pit because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
As much as I would normally value the endorsement of my favorite filmmaker, I think I'm still going with Barack.
I hope I never get a case of Dick Searle.