Sunday, March 05, 2006

Joint Prosperity In Stupidity......me and Gillette

......are people really stupid enough to go out and buy a razor with 5 blades? *Sigh*....I've been working with the general public long enough now that I should know the answer.....a resounding yes, of course, because the commercial on the TV told them to. I came across one of these commercials the other day during one of my increasingly infrequent forays into the wasteland of the boob tube. Said something about the "innovate technology" combined with a "unique idea." What kind of new technology do you need to put five blades in plastic cartridges that you didn't need to put in 4? And as far as a "unique idea" take a look here: this is an article from the satire website/paper The Onion about Gillette's plan to do just this..... dated February 18th 2004! What was so ridiculous it was the basis for satire a little over a year ago has become today's business plan. It must be incredibly hard to be a comedy writer these days, when real events are ripping off your best material. While I'm on the subject, I also remember what was *supposed* to be a fictional story in the Onion about a man who didn't know when he could take down the American Flag he put on his house after 9/11 without seeming too unpatriotic being repeated almost verbatim..........in NEWSWEEK a few weeks later. I'm not kidding. I wish I was.

The gullibility of the American public shall translate into dollars in my pockets and retirement plan however, as a good chunk of the business this crap idea will generate will happen at my employer....who......*come a little closer, I'll have to whisper this*........makes way more money off a big health and beauty aid product launch like this than any blockbuster $150 per month prescription drug. I know it hurts ya to shell out the big bucks for your Nexium and/or Lipitor, but the very fact you hate buying them means we have to keep profit margins slim on those products. When you come clamoring in for a 5 blade razor though, convinced it's the only thing standing between you and all night orgies with supermodels, well then........the profit margin gets a little fatter.....suckers......going now to work on some innovative technology that'll let my put 6 blades on a stick.......

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