....and even when I'm old and ravaged by the effects of Alzheimer's (I'm convinced that's how I will die. After many years of making fun of stupid old customers, there would be no better karma than me turning into one of them.) I have a feeling I may remember one particular day at work a few years ago. I was toiling away in a college town at the time, and the quarter was over, and the kids were getting ready for Florida, or Cancun, or wherever they go for their drunken revelry. Not before a little partying on campus however, as evidenced by the car that pulled up in front of the store, parked right next to the entrance........with a giant paper mache penis strapped to the roof.
The kids got out of the car, made a beeline for the kegs in the back of the store, and then for me. Imagine my relief when I realized that all they wanted were condoms. Lots of condoms. They literally took every piece of rubber that could be put on a penis off the shelf and headed to the checkout counter.
When I was a student I missed this part of college evidently. And my regrets at this fact have known no bounds since that day.