"Mr. Snow, there's a Thomas Ryan on line one. I told him you had a full schedule, but he insists on talking to you. He's been calling all morning and sounds rather.....unstable"
"What does that CVS Nimrod what now? Fine, Ms. Mugrass, I'll take the call."
"Snow here"
There is silence on the line, except for the sound of faint laughter.
"Ryan, you there? C'mon, I don't have time for bullshit."
More seconds of silence, followed with a soft, "Oh you have time Medco. You have time for all the bullshit I can wing your way. And you also have the money for some new contract terms."
"What are you talking about?"
"You know the standard Average Wholesale Price minus 15% reimbursement you pay drugstores?" Well starting now, for CVS stores it's AWP PLUS 15%. "
There is 30 seconds of mad cackling on the line.
"Ryan, you're on crack. We didn't get into the pharmacy management business to get screwed. Medco has stood for giving the shaft to retail drugstores from the day it was founded. Now...."
"I don't think you've heard the news Medco boy. I own everything now...... Everything. How would you like to tell your clients the only drugstore that accepts your card is Rite Aid?"
"Rite Aid's still in business?"
"What are you gonna say to your clients when they ask why Caremark can give them a better deal on pharmacy management services than you can all the sudden? You missed the memo bitch-boy. You lost. I own everything. Whatever you have from now on is what I decide to give you."
"Alright. AWP minus 5%"
"Fuck you. AWP + 20%. And you'll cluck like a chicken."
"What?"
"I SAID CLUCK LIKE A CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!"
Silence again engulfs the line. Then David B. Snow Jr., Chairman of the Board of Medco Health Solutions, starts to cluck softly.
"That's a good little clucker. We still on for golf on Saturday?"
"Yeah, we're still on."
Snow will lose by 5 strokes, deliberately blowing a sizable lead over the last 4 holes. Immediately after this call is over, Thomas Ryan, Chairman and CEO of CVS/Caremark, has his secretary call the Texas board of pharmacy to present a list of demands.
Disclaimer- You know, or should know, that while the names are of real people, the account is fictional.
6 comments:
Okay... This Texan wants to know why evil CVS/Caremark is contacting the TX Board. What are they up to? Are they going to make our Executive Director bark like a dog?
Jason, maybe I'll write that in part 2 of the story. Although not another person on the planet seems to have noticed part 1. Oh well.....
Please do.. I'm very interested. PBMs have been the latest hot topic, especially the fiasco of Part-D reimbursement and AMP. I've not heard much about CVS except their settlement on the "improper switching of customers to a more expensive form of a drug paid for by Medicaid."
Give us all the dirty details. I could use a good laugh about my friends on the Texas Board.
I would love to see this play out. Please continue the story Drugmonkey!
HEY. I noticed part 1 and you know it. I'm just not allowed to comment on this post or the next 4 posts..
Look what you made me do.
Actually, I realized that I'm not always first to comment. I usually see the updates the second you put them up, then wait a few hours to comment so I don't look too obsessed. Looks like I just outed myself though.
Oh yes, Rite-Aid home of the $35 gift card if you transfer a script to them.
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