Doctor: Drugmonkey, I'm afraid the news is bad. You have Toxic Megacolon.
Drugmonkey: Awesome! This definitely does not sound like some sort of wimpy pansy problem. It was always my greatest fear I would die of something with a girlie sounding name. In your face Lyme disease!
Doctor: Perhaps you'd like a referral to our psychiatric unit.
It would also be a great name for a band. Now touring with Ozzfest........TOXIC MEGACOLON! You know a band with that name would just have to rock.
Actually the main lesson taken away from today's continuing education was not to try to do continuing education while at lunch, or at least to not grab something at random off the unopened mail pile on your way to the back. Here's the cover from today's lesson:
The caption at the bottom left reads: "Image depicting constipation showing hard, dry brown stools in the colon"
That was my reward for trying to do something productive with the 30 friggin minutes I get to stuff some food in my face over the course of a 12 hour shift.
And people wonder why I'm so damn skinny.
From the March 9, 2005 edition of The Onion.
7 comments:
I remember the lecture in pharmacy school when I first heard about toxic megacolon and my reaction was about the same as yours. In fact, as I recall, my friends and I spent the rest of the day shouting "TOXIC MEGACOLON!" at each other in deep, radio-announcer type voices. Yes, it was juvenile, but hey, we were college sophomores.
Sometimes I miss being an undergrad.
Drugmonkey:
I'll be your groupie if you form the band. We could have some fun, but don't expect me to throw my thong up on stage when you're playing your guitar. I'm not that kind of girl:-)
TOXIC MEGACOLON - 68,000+ hits on google. How come I've never heard of this!
My other half is a pharmacist and he actually already has a band called toxic megacolon - www.myspace.com/toxicmegacolonband
They are looking for a guitarist if you wanna join :) but might be a problem seeing as how we are in Australia.....
Love reading your blog- I work in pharmacy too, and it's nice to know that everyone has similar issues with customers!
personally I think ankylosing spondylitis is the best disease name ever. maybe that could be your new band name...
Here's a name for you...my favorite drug name.....MOXIFLOXACIN! It just rolls off the tongue.
- Toxic megacolon (so much inflammation that the colon can rupture, leading to sepsis and death)
- Mortality: 6-30% when pseudomembranous colitis (C. dificil associated disease) is present
- White to yellowish plaques – source of WBC and inflammatory mediators
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