First call of the day asked me what the date was. "NOT THE DAY OF THE WEEK....THE DATE!!!!" The woman said. "I'VE BEEN IN BED!!" She specifically asked to talk to the pharmacist for this.
I've learned what to do. "The 9th" I said, as if she were asking me a question related to her prescription medicine. Trust me young pharmacists, it's the best way to handle this type of situation.
The woman immediately hung up.
The best highlight ever though.....was yet to come.
A couple hours later a customer wanted to know if we sold DNA testing kits. "I need to know if I have any African blood in me" he said. "It's the first day of Kwanzaa."
Kwanzaa was last month. The customer looked as white as me. I am the whitest white boy in the history of whitedom. OK you young pharmacists out there...tell me how to handle this.....
If you said "tell the customer we do not sell DNA tests......and let those be the ONLY words out of your mouth" you win a prize. Under no circumstances are you to say anything other than "I'm sorry sir, we don't sell DNA tests" Nothing good will come of any other words. Don't ask. Don't tell.
The best highlight was still to come though......hang with me.....
Mid afternoon brings a message on the voice mail
"Hi, this is Joe Dumbass, and my doctor was going to call in a prescription for me. When he does, I need you to call me and tell me how to pick it up" He wasn't asking me to tell him when it was ready. He actually wanted to know how to pick it up.
I have worked in both the ghettoest of ghettos and in some of the most affluent neighborhoods on the planet, and I can tell you that not one time has a poor person ever asked me how to pick up a prescription. You have no idea how glad I am I wasn't born rich.
A customer gave me $40 cash for a $60 prescription and wanted to put the $20 balance on her debit card. As part of the debit transaction, she asked for $10 cash back. Pop quiz for young pharmacists.....what do you do?
Answer: Give her the $10 back. Do not ask any questions.
An hour before closing the ultimate asshole comes to the counter.
"YOU NEED TO CALL MY DOCTOR RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!" shouted the ultimate asshole from across the pharmacy. Another sign I was in the land of affluence. The doctors office was closed, but the customer was not the type of person who hears "no" often, if at all. I was to call his doctor right now.
Me: "I don't think your VIAGRA qualifies as an emergency sir. I'm not going to interrupt your doctor for a VIAGRA prescription." It was shouted back at an equal volume as his demand was shouted at me, with a little extra emphasis on the word VIAGRA. The waiting room was crowded. My voice has a way of carrying. People snickered. The smirk on my face communicated to the customer I knew exactly what I was doing. The customer learned the value of politeness when dealing with a pharmacist. He slithered away.
And that my friends......was the ultimate fucking highlight of my day. Don't vote for Hillary.
16 comments:
Hahaha, nice advice. As a young pharmacist, I will be sure to use it wisely. There are too many psychos out there to try to understand why or how. I just to what they say and ask no questions. =]
As stupid, asinine and plain WTF? worthy a question is, I agree.. the best thing is to answer simply and firmly.
"No sir"
"Ok Ma'am"
and try not to look them in the eye..
[im justatech though..]
Obviously it was "National Call Your Pharmacy If You're Insane Day". Yesterday someone called our happy pill room & wanted to know what color the glyburide/metformin 5/500 was so he'd know if he could transfer his prescription to us. Bright canary yellow. I have no idea if that was the right answer.
And anyone notice that there's a distinct linkage between Viagra/Cialis/Levitra and a customer likely being a total jerk? It's not an absolute thing, and I don't know what the cause/effect relationship is, but scrip for Viagra usually equals asshole.
I once had a woman ask for my name so she could complain that I was lying about the date to her husband so he couldn't get his lortab prescription which was due on the 13th of the month. Over here in non-crazy world all the calenders in the pharmacy said it was still the 11th. Unfortunately she never went through with the complaint. I really wanted to explain that one to my boss.
As to reply to your lady who wanted to know the date, we used to have a woman who called quite often that we called "the time lady." She called probably about 7 times a day, at all hours of the day and night (I work at a 24 hour pharmacy). She wanted to know the time, if it was AM or PM, and sometimes the date too. We assumed she was drunk most of the time. She called on New Year's Day before wanting to know the time and date. I told her it was January 1 , 200X (can't remember the exact year). She kept asking if it was the previous year. I kept telling her no, it's the new year. She hasn't called in a long time. We assume she's either locked up or dead.
I might be weak on HIPAA here... but can't the viagra dude totally sue you for publicly announcing his private health information? Or did he scream "VIAGRA" first?
You are the funniest person ever.
Also "Funhouse" You must be one of his customers. Where is there any identifying information in the VIAGRA story?
Ahh... thanks for reminding me why I left retail. That Viagra retort was friggin' awesome! I wish I had nerve like that when I worked the bench. Cheers!
You are wise beyond your years, Drugmonkey. You are truly a pharmacy god.
MJ
I would NEVER yell at my pharmacist to call my doctor RIGHT NOW, especially if the office is closed. 1st off, my Pharm. is pretty darned clueless, so it wouldn't even help, I could spell things out for her and she would STILL have a problem (which is why we always joke in Med school: what do you a call a pharmacist?...a med school reject/dropout) (No offense, I have GREAT INTELLIGENT friends that went through Pharm. school for the right reasons! But, then you have the "others") secondly, I know my doctor well, he also works long shifts in a ER, used to work for free in a low income clinic on his "off days". I wouldn't DARE have a Pharmacist call him up, have his wife wake him up (cutting off the few hours he had to rest before a 12 hr shift) just to deal with something as you said was NOT an emergency! I feel for ya, sometimes it can be a thankless job, but just keep thinking about the people that really DO appreciate you..and believe it or not..that goes for Doctors too...sometimes we just get caught up in our own shit to actually tell ya.
I have to admit, I'll probably never have the guts (or the authority for that matter) to respond to Viagra man the way that you did.
I would have just given him a tablet of Viagra, and had him come back the next day for the rest of the prescription, rather than humiliating him in front of everyone. Of course, I don't work in a chain, so I'm not quite so bitter and filled with hate.
Flying drug monkeys are best.
metformin as a choice in the poll? Really? and people are voting for it? That's one of the meds in my regimen and I hate it for what it does to my stomach.
Eh clueless pharmacist? Fair enough, but what is worse is a clueless doctor.. and we have 2 of those in my town.. same practice. So let's keep the hardy har down to a minimum, hmm?
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