"Hello Drugmonkey?" It was my District Pharmacy Manager. I was expecting the call. Actually I had been expecting the call for so long I had forgot I was still expecting it.
"What's up bossman?" The DM really isn't a bad guy. I think he's younger than me, which probably represents some sort of milestone in my life.
"I got a complaint from a customer.....I........"
"I'll bet I know exactly who it is"
"Wanna give me your side of the story?"
"Sure. Addict forged a Vicodin prescription and I told him to never come back. Guy threw a fit and wanted your e-mail address. "
"Are we talking about the same person?"
"What, did he give you some sob story about me refusing to give him his blood pressure medicine and him ending up in the hospital?"
Silence on the other end of the line. I could hear my boss' confusion in the nothingness.
"So remember last time you were in the store, and we talked about how we were both Seinfeld fans?"
"Yes........." the confusion was now turbocharged. If I had a regular job I may have been fired by now.
Do you remember the name George used whenever he needed to lie about something?
"No"
"Art Vandelay"
"DAMMIT DRUGMONKEY!!!!" The words "Art Vandelay" cleared up all confusion. Because, you see, Art Vandelay had filed the complaint. Or someone using the name Art Vandelay. That someone would be me. For those of you a little dimmer than average, I filed the complaint against myself for fun.
It's been a crappy couple weeks, for reasons both professional and personal. I got my boss to use a swear word though, which tells me I really don't need friends. I do a pretty good job of cheering my own damn self up sometimes.
11 comments:
DM - apropos of nothing, I've spent the last couple weeks going through your blog archives.
One that really struck me was your first impressions of country music video ('way back in April 2006) - the other tech in our happy pill room listens to a contemporary C&W station during the day, and I'm about to rip the damn thing out of the wall and toss it across the store. JEE-ZUS. Maybe I'll write a C&W song called "I'm Proud And Happy And Kinda Stupid" and make a mint off of it. Or maybe not.
One thing, though - if you watch Country Music Television, watch it with the sound off. C&W women singers are HAWT. I don't know what attracts beautiful women to country music, but it goes a small way to compensating for the existence of Toby Keith.
Hugs
And return an email every once in a while and you might have another friend
DM, That is twisted...
You sir, win the blue ribbon for most nonsense act done out of boredom.
If you don't need friends, you don't need cookies either.
that sir was classic!
"SAY VANDELEY! SAY VANDELEY!!!"
"And you want to be my latex salesman..."
Gotta love Seinfeld... Anyway, this story made me laugh.
Marry me! We belong together. But don't tell my husband, OK?
MJ:-)
Brilliant! I bet you got written up anyway. Frickin' WAG
Hahaha! That's classic...what was your complaint anyway??
That was a whoot!
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