I take back all those mean things I said about you four years ago. It was just, well, after doing a lot of work for no pay for the one presidential candidate who could have changed the direction of this country, I was a little testy when you were too stupid.....er.....I mean...when you saw things differently. I made a bad choice when I called you a bunch of hillbilly inbred simpletons whose biggest worry was whether Jesus would ever see you naked, just like you made a bad choice when you handed the Democratic presidential nomination to John Kerry. We've both grown in the last four years, and I bet neither one of us will ever make a mistake like that ever again. There's a way you can undo your mistake though:
I bet you realize by now my Iowa friends, that when you have the privilege of making your selection for party nominee so early in the process, far removed from the actual issues we might be facing on Inauguration Day 2009, all you can really go on is leadership and judgment skills. Leadership and judgment skills like recognizing what the Iraq war was from the outset, and not being afraid to say so. Like Barack Obama did, 5 months before the war started:
That’s what I’m opposed to. A dumb war. A rash war. A war based not on reason but on passion, not on principle but on politics.
George Bush on the other hand, led Hillary Clinton off a cliff into a headfirst dive that landed nose deep in the stinking cesspool of Iraq. These days Hillary likes to say it's George's war, but she voted to authorize it and has never apologized for doing so. Don't take my word for it though, take hers. This is what she said as she took George's hand and made that cliff jump:
President Bush's speech in Cincinnati and the changes in policy that have come forth since the Administration began broaching this issue some weeks ago have made my vote easier. Even though the resolution before the Senate is not as strong as I would like in requiring the diplomatic route first and placing highest priority on a simple, clear requirement for unlimited inspections, I will take the President at his word that he will try hard to pass a UN resolution and will seek to avoid war, if at all possible.That worked out really well, taking the president at his word. Because it was always so obvious how trustworthy George Bush was.
She also believed her husband when he said he never had sexual relations with that woman, which means she fell for the lies of two consecutive presidents. I'm afraid this means if she is elected president she will then believe her own lies, which I'm pretty sure would mean we're aquascrewed.
You can't vote for Edwards because he talks funny. I'm serious about this. I'm sick of having a president who talks funny.
So my dear Iowa friends, the choice is yours. Wait..... I forgot how you always force every serious presidential candidate to promise to support ethanol as a fuel additive. Something about the corn. You people are crazy about the corn, and ethanol has something to do with corn. So, yeah, I totally support whatever the deal is with ethanol, and I'm pretty sure Obama is in favor of you and the corn as well.
I know you'll do the right thing January 3rd.