At 5:30 my eyes opened and would not re-close. I thought maybe they were trying to tell me something, that maybe there was a reason I should not be wasting away in bed. I tried to think if there were any possible reasons I should get up.
I had to pee, and I could take a shot at working this morning's crossword in the newspaper. That's all I could come up with.
The paperboy, who I think is actually a man in his mid 30's, was late, so I put on some Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam always makes me happy. This was their latest album, and it had been sitting on my "to listen to" pile for quite awhile now. The blasphemous thought crept into my mind as I listened.
Van Hagar. That is the comparison that came to mind. Workmanlike. Competent.
I stared at my speakers and tried to remember Eddie Vedder in flannel. The Eddie Vedder who once saw an outfit for sale in the window of a department store based on one he wore in a music video and promptly went home and burned the original. I tried to remember when our generation was tarred as a pack of slackers destined to have a life that was a faint echo of our parent's. Our parents had Vietnam, we had Gulf War I, they had Watergate, we had Lewinsky, they had Woody Allen, we had "Clerks"
We were cool with it. "Clerks" was a great movie. Perhaps the last remnant we have of what we were before the internet came along and changed our stereotype to that of the dot-com millionaire.
I was snapped out of it by the sound of the newspaper hitting the door. On one level it made me happy to be starting my day with a newspaper and a cup of coffee. Pearl Jam was teaching me that attempts to hang on to the coolness of your 20's are as pathetic as the exclamation point Yahoo! insists on keeping on the end of its name. Or "Clerks II."
My age starts with a 4 now and I find myself listening to more and more jazz. I can't come up with a 5-letter word for "fur wrap" that starts with an "S." My new coffee maker makes my java taste like plastic and in a few hours I'll have the joy of starting a long work weekend.
I thought about my last work weekend and smiled, but my last work weekend is gone. Sometimes the decision to get out of bed can be the wrong one. What I wouldn't do for a chance to start over.
17 comments:
My wife and I talk about how old Eddie Vedder is now and the "dulled" look in his eyes. Go back to some of the early performances and look at his eyes. Passion. Hunger. Anger. That's all gone now as middle age has mellowed him as it does all of us. Would you want to be a 20 something in today's world? I'm no codger, but the interpersonal relationship and "catching up" have fallen by the wayside. Texting and twittering and facebooking has killed some of those aspects that make our life interesting. Don't get me wrong, I think your twitter quips are some of the most clever things I've read in a long time. Bottom line, get a Keurig, watch Fight Club and rest easy knowing you're smarter that 99% of society; it ain't all bad. By the way, "Did he just say making fuck?"
S-T-O-L-E
Sable
So....at first I thought you were accusing me of plagiarism.....but stole totally works....:)
I'm surprised how happy that makes me.....plus I learned what a sable was. Thanks to you both.
Do you ever read Robert Crais's novels? You remind me of Elvis Cole sometimes. Hang in there.
And if you want to know all about sable, read Martin Cruz Smith's Gorky Park.
so I'm dying to know who was right? (I posted "stole")
Happily driving to work this morning (as I am no longer working as a pharmacist)I listened to my Jazz station, 911 on the FM dial. They played a one of my favorites "Taco and a Pork Chop."
I never would have thought of sable!
My husband hit 40 a few years ago and can now what tell you what year he was born but not how old he is. It's a good thing kids are good at math and figure it for him.
I want to know what the crossword answer was too, I'm going with stole.
Ugh, plastic-flavored coffee. Run it through a cleaning cycle and see if it helps; if not, get one that doesn't make off-flavored coffee. We're not big coffee drinkers so we brew by the cup with an espresso machine.
Well I see that someone beat me to stole.
The answer key was published today.....it was stole...:)
"What I wouldn't do for a chance to start over." So what would you do..stop being who you are?
I could probably count on one hand the right decisions I've made in my life and that would probably only be if three of those fingers were amputated.
Maybe I'm just selfish...if you made all the "right" decisions I wouldn't get to read your delicious blog.
Ever see the Twilight Zone episode where the guy goes back in time, knows something is going to happen and by trying to prevent it, causes it?
Oh well just the rambling of someone whose age starts with the evening side of 5.
Mornings like that make me want a short acting Ambien... take one to sleep a little, take 8 (or.... 20) to sleep a lot.
Django Reinhardt.
I am still a Pearl Jam fan to the core. Their newest album has some great songs on it. Eddie is a little more mellow as he gets older but his ability to songwrite still amazes me. I am branching out into more kinds of music as I get older as well. My new girlfriend is much more in tune with what is new and popular and she does an excellent job of keeping me up to date with the local band scene. I have enjoyed seeing these local bands play that are talented but just haven't made that leap towards the fame that comes with the mega-bands.
Fear not DM, you aren't the only one getting older. As I walked down a main street in a college town near where I live the other day I did feel old looking at all the young college aged kids walking by me. It is sad really because inside I am still that little kid that loves to watch Sat. morning cartoons and eat mac and cheese with hotdogs. Heck, I still act like a little kid at a baseball game too!
I feel personally accomplished for having introduced my mid-30s spouse to Clerks. How he made it through college in the 1990s without ever seeing that movie (which is awesome beyond words) is beyond me.
And this is random, but I feel the same way about Art Alexakis from Everclear that you do about Eddie Vedder. Still cool, but the metal-shard edge I loved has been worn down by age. C'est la vie, I suppose.
Recipe for good coffee:
1. Buy good coffee beans.
2. Grind them and use 2 teaspoons of ground coffee per 6 ounces of water.
3. Use distilled water - one of the best cups of coffee I've had was Folgers made with distilled water.
Good luck.
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