Sunday, May 02, 2010

A Quickie Joke From The Day's Paper That Writes Itself.

The Vatican on Saturday ordered the overhaul of one of the Catholic Church's largest and most influential organizations following an investigation into decades of sexual abuse by the group's founder and systematic efforts to cover it up.
Mexican-born Father Marcial Maciel engaged in "very serious and objectively immoral behavior," the Vatican said — including fathering at least one child and sexually molesting boys and seminarians.
...the Legionaries, as they are known, operate in nearly 40 countries with 800 priests, 2,600 seminarians and a lay branch.

"Accusations of deviant sexual behavior by priests strike at the very heart of our church and wound our soul" said fictional Vatican spokesman Cardinal Gavin Musconi. "If it turns out that Father Maciel did engage in sex with an actual consenting adult we will immediately reorganize the lay branch of the Legionaries to ensure that any laying only fits into accepted church guidelines"

"That really seems to be the only problem I can find though. The adult thing......" Cardinal Musconi added. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

4 comments:

Phathead said...

Why do I get the feeling that some day a gust of wind will knock off the Pope's bitchin' hat and a half nude child will be found hiding behind it?

Từ Thanh Giác said...

I cited the church for a violation of the Health and Safety Act. It was at a Jesuit Monastery. The monk ordered the workers to remove asbestos insulation from a boiler. When a Mexican worker complained about the health hazard, he was fired. The monk said to me "Are you really going to cite the Church?" as if I was committing some sort of sacrilege. I responded that they own a law school and had no excuse for such outlandish behavior.

About a year later at the same monastery they caught a monk fucking a retread male worker. I had been going on for years.

I also met a lawyer who had a retain for the church. He told me that they really keep him busy. "For example" he said "In this day and age they fired a worker because he had diabetes."

Từ Thanh Giác said...

whoops above: that was retarded male worker.

Từ Thanh Giác said...

Here is another tale about the church. A monk from Vietnam visited the pagoda that I attend. The pagoda was picketeded by protesters saying that he was a communist. I asked a protestor how did he know that the monk was a communist. He answered, "He is a monk. He is from Vietnam. He is a communist." The head nun at the pagoda said that it is a rule of the order to give refuge to any monk who wants to stay there and that the monk could stay as long as we wanted to stay there. The protest continued. When the nuns came out for their morning procession to the pagoda., protesters dropped their pants and showed their naked butts to the nuns. Other pissed on the fence. Suddenly all the protested left. I asked a fellow member of the Sangha. "What happened? . Why did they leave suddenly?" He answered. "It's Sunday they left to attend mass at the Catholic Church."