That's the most effective line in my arsenal most days. Lets the drug seeker know it's not personal. It doesn't work all the time though, and it wasn't working this time. Dude wanted his Norco.
Ho-hum. Just another day in the happy pill room for me. Until I got the look a few seconds later. I've been at this long enough that I've learned a lot about what people are saying to me with their eyes.
The customer wasn't Freddy Mercury spectacularly gay, or Rock Hudson chiseled jaw handsome kinda gay, but he definitely would be a big time bogey on your gaydar. More David Sedaris sissy-boy kinda gay I would say. I'm sure he has taken a lot of crap in his life for being a sissy boy, and what his eyes were saying to me was that this was more of the same. "Redneck straight boy gets off making life hard for the faggot, huh?" That's what shot out of his optic nerves. Clear as a bell.
I've always said give most people enough time and they will give you a perfectly legitimate reason to hate them, making prejudice unnecessary, and he was taking crap from me for a perfectly legitimate reason, but since he was communicating with his eyes and not his mouth, I would never have a chance to set the record straight.
Wait. I don't want to set anything straight. Because I'm not a bigot. Honest. He can be as non straight as he wants and it's none of my business. How to make that clear though? That was my problem.
"Look...this isn't because you're gay, OK?" I'm sure that would have gone over well.
But I'm not a redneck....seriously.... I have all sorts of gay friends. I listen to NPR. I read the New York Times and have an appreciation for Ricard Wagner and John Coltrane. Um... wait. Maybe Wagner wasn't the best example there, and I don't really have any gay friends. I actually never even met anyone out of the closet until I moved to California, but I'm not a redneck. Anymore.
It's just so unfair. I would totally rather the guy put some penis in his mouth instead of all that extra Norco, but it doesn't matter. In his eyes I am now an accused, tried, and convicted homophobe. I might have to end up marrying him if it ever becomes legal. Just to clear my name.
I hope he's off the narcotics by then.
5 comments:
You whack.
"and have an appreciation for Ricard Wagner and John Coltrane." well there's your problem...it's the Broadway musicals that make you legit. And I love love love David Sedaris.
Maybe he was fixated on the fact he was staring at the worlds biggest douche.
I think I just peed a little. I have been in the exact situation except it wasn't so much narcotics as rumen fluid from a cow...but otherwise the same thing. I walked around the next day being extra nice to gay folks just in case he was watching (he wasn't but I did get asked out by a lipstick lesbian)
What if you hung up the Carson Palmer poster (where he's about to deepthroat a hot dog with mustard laces)? Would that not vindicate your stance? It would also show you are not afraid to show your stripes. Get it? Stripes. Because of the uniforms...nevermind.
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