Some Things Karma Cannot Change, No Matter How Brightly She Smiles Upon You.

My friends, I have no idea what I have done to get on the right side of the forces that rule the universe. No idea. But like George Costanza the day he decided he needed to do the opposite of everything he'd been doing in his life, things have suddenly been breaking my way. This is how my New Year has gone so far.

I showed up for work on New Year's Day and there was a sign on the front window of the store saying the pharmacy was closed. Naturally, I beat it the fuck out of there. The corporates were mad, but there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it.

My mortgage payment went down. That's right, down. I have an adjustable rate mortgage tied to the interest rate paid on a 10 year T-note, which has fallen through the floor. Based strictly on economic criteria, I should totally be a Republican, and if I were some sort of selfish bastard fearful that I would somehow lose my status in society if I did not furiously beat down everyone below me on the socio-economic ladder, I probably would be. As it is though, I think It'd be kinda cool if your mortgage payment went down too.

My asshole neighbor moved away.

The person I wanted to be president when the campaign was in the "13 dudes and 1 dudette tromping around the snow in Iowa" phase will assume office tomorrow. My mind still has not fully comprehended this.

Thanks to the alert reader who sent in the e-card.

My creepy neighbor who used to call the store 5 times to ask if we were open moved away.

A check for a not insignificant amount of money magically showed up in my mailbox as settlement of a class action lawsuit against a former employer. I took down the man without even being aware I was doing so.

The people who lived next to the creepy neighbor also moved away, meaning I have almost an entire floor of the condo complex to myself at the moment.

"What does that say about what it's like living next to you?" asked my keystone tech when I told her this.

I even have the beginnings of a social life forming. I did things this weekend that didn't involve sitting alone in a dark room in the middle of the night sharpening my knives. Things with people. Real people.

And at work? I swear I'm not making this up. A customer asked me my opinion of generic Coumadin. And then, this is where it really gets weird.....he listened to what I said! Wait. It gets even weirder, he asked a relevant question! An actual conversation with a person about drugs who was treating me like I've spent the last 22 years of my life learning about drugs! On top of everything else, work had become like some sort of APhA wet dream!

It was around the time I said "The problem with warfarin is that most of the dose you take gets bound to blood proteins, meaning very little is left to work its effects on the body" someone walked by and shouted......

HEY! WHERE'S THE BATHROOM???!!!???

I wish I had a videotape of the asshole shouting for the bathroom in the middle of the one real counselling session I'll have this year. I'd send it to every pharmacy school in the country, and especially to this kid.

I just knocked on my neighbors door though, and no one answered. So that must not have been the moment I woke up from some sort of dream. Unless I fell back asleep and am typing this while actually lying in bed. I'll keep you posted.

The Drugmonkey looks over wearily at the alarm clock