Every other Saturday I go grocery shopping after work, and every other Saturday I tell myself I shall go to the new coffee shop in the store's strip center as part of my trip. It's not a Starbuck's. Nearly universal opinion says it is far better. Every other Saturday I look forward to finally finding out for myself, and every other Saturday I park as far away from the coffee shop as I can and behave as if the coffee shop and I were two opposite ends of a giant polar magnet.
The coffee shop reminds me of an ex. Not so much an ex really as a fling. The most awesome fling ever that really exists...... in the past. There is no reason the coffee shop should remind me of her. I never went to the coffee shop with the flingee. As far as i know I never even had coffee with the flingee. There's no reason, but the coffee shop most definitely serves as a reminder of what was.
So every other Saturday I tell myself there's no reason and every other Saturday I decide I'm too tired to fight it. Tonight I made it official and gave up forever. It's easier to go without a good cup of coffee than to battle irrational neuroses. I'll stick with the Starbucks.
Maybe this is how people go nuts. They just accumulate one ex after another, taking away an inexplicable behavior from each until one day they are convinced Queen Elizabeth has a spy satellite that is beaming instructions into their head from Buckingham Palace. Maybe the insane among us are just the ones who had the most affection to give.
Maybe I need to find someone soon. Then I could be like the people who closed my business day at the pharmacy. Maybe I could be happy like them. Attractive like them. I bet they get coffee together all the time at any coffee shop they please.
The couple's debit card declined at the register.
"Did you transfer the money into our account like I asked you to?"
"DON'T YOU START WITH ME!!!!!" Then she stormed off. Her UTI wasn't gonna get treated unless I got me some currency, but her pride was more important at the moment.
Maybe none of us are sane.
9 comments:
Don't worry about it dude, I had to go through tons of shitty relationships before finding the right person. Plus you're like, a pharmacist, which means you're rich, and chicks dig dudes with money. So who knows, by the end of the month you may be doing two chicks at the same time. :)
Hell hath no fury like a woman with an itchy vag...
Hey Drug Monkey,
This is a serious comment. Have you considered using eharmony.com, or a similiar online matching site? I personally know a pharmacist who has used the service to find the man in her life. They talked for a while online, and then decided to take a trip together so as to meet in a neutral location. They've been together for 3 years now and very happy. I'm not an advertiser, just wanting my favorite blogger to be happy.
id ride the drugmonkey :)
I hear you. Recently split up with someone - not a long relationship, but one in which I had really seen potential and had "invested" (ew) a lot of effort. there are now three bars and a coffee shop from which I am effectively exiled because we were happy there. Buggeration...
So do you question or otherwise try to get girls to fess up what medications they are on?
"Your on Zyprexa?... I'm afraid this date is over."
The rare occasions that I actually get a date, I always wonder.. 'What if she is only this nice because she is on Xanax.'
I hope that once I drop the fact that I work in a pharmacy, that will start the conversation..
"Oh I have to go my pharmacy weekly I am on so many medications!"
"Next please!!"
....If you do figure out how to find your lady..would you let me know? I've been searching for Mr.Right for a while now, and he's been awfully elusive.
How can you be so lonely DM? I stalk you daily, only when you love someone it is not stalking, just extra loving. Right?
LOL I like the comment above mine. I fully appreciate Anonymous's logic.
Post a Comment