Monday, February 18, 2008

Day 6 Of The Rhinovirus War. By Diverting My Attention Exclusively To My Own Well Being, The Little RNA Packets Affect The Karma Of My Entire World

The text ads in my G-mail account now say things like "Foster a solider, troops need baby wipes, lemonade....."

and

"Airborne coffee, get your caffeine fix while never forgetting those who serve"

A dear friend told me she was going to church for the first time in 10 years.

My world is crumbling. Google thinks I want to help the troops with something other than the $20,000 I already provide them to kill people I would rather see live and Jesus is picking off my friends. I am powerless because I cannot summon the energy to get out of bed. I am sick.

I must defeat the rhinovirus once and for all and begin to make things right. Tell the troops I am quite embarrassed to be giving them what I give them now, thank you very much. Tell Jesus to get his own friends. It will take more than a baby wipe.

Quite honestly, considering some of the pictures I've seen from Iraq, I would think a troop might need more than a baby wipe as well.

At least I still look good. I would rather be sick and hot than healthy and ugly.

Is that a zit coming in on my forehead?

All may be lost.....

4 comments:

Mother Jones RN said...

Can't you steal some good drugs from work and get yourself well? I don't like hearing that you are still ill. I'm giving you a few more days to start feeling better, or else I'm tracking you down and attacking you with chicken soup.

MJ

RioIriri said...

Is it sad that, when I saw "Airborne Coffee", I thought they'd mixed that snake oil cold/flu remedy with instant coffee?

Anonymous said...

i love jesus and you can't stop me.

amen.

Judy said...

Jealous of someone you don't believe in? I'm surprised.