I had been getting the living piss beat out of me for about 9 and a half hours. A customer interrupted the filling of another's prescription to ask if we had a product called "air." I shit you not. If there is a company out there that is dumb enough to name a product "air," I don't want to know about it and will happily blow off anyone wanting to buy it. Then the phone rings. This is the unedited beginning of the conversation:
Me: Thank you for calling corpo-pharmacy, may I help you?
Dumbass: IS THERE A (name of corpo pharmacy chain here) OFF THE LAWRENCE EXPRESSWAY??
Here is a summary of my thoughts over the next two seconds:
Well hello to you too.
There is one highway in this little town. Its name isn't Lawrence.
The nearest city that is big enough to name its highways would be at least 80 miles away.
There is no guarantee that is the city this person is talking about.
Fuck this guy.
"Yeah, you take the first exit after the big overpass, make a right at the light, and it's in the strip center with the McDonalds. " Is what I said. Or something like that. I don't remember exactly, as it was a totally random set of directions for a city that existed only in my mind. If I had been given the name of a real city maybe I would have done better.
The sound the dumbass made before he hung up the phone was something like..."hhhuuurroookk"
I immediately felt bad. What if I just steered some prissy-ass white boy into the ghetto and a carjacking? What if he was trying to get a prescription filled for a kid who didn't know Daddy was both extremely dumb and extremely rude? Crap. Maybe this time the Drugmonkey had gone too far.
Another call about 10 minutes later. "YEAH, I'M AT THE COUNTER HERE AND THIS PHARMACIST SAYS THEY DON'T HAVE MY INSURANCE ON FILE."
He found it. The dumbass fucking found it. I think the key was my mentioning of the McDonalds. "Take a right and look for the McDonalds" just might work in any situation really. I wondered if Burger King might be the key to getting the guy's insurance card to work.
I suppose I could use Google to find out where the Lawrence Expressway is, but at this point I really don't want to know. I also don't want to know where you can buy air.
I hate all people.
14 comments:
I just wet myself.
Bwahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha.
As for the Air.
It's "Ayr".
http://www.bfascher.com/product.asp?ID=5&groupID=3
Branded saline nasal spray.
Dumb name. Dumber customer. BRILLIANT.
Although, out here, if someone is looking for a Rite-Aid, you tell them it's across from the Walgreens. Or vice versa.
didn't i say you were getting soft?
i don't know, drugmonkey, but it seems to me you have been going out of your way to help people these days. first a little girl gets a free pen and now some nimrod gets on-point directions.
i don't like it. not one bit.
You hate all people... except the ones that make the scotch, right?
My Walgreens is next to a Jack in the Box. And they rock, as they got a fioricet prescription refilled for a scrip that was over 2 years old, with a neurologist I havent seen for 3... yeah for migraine treatment without a doctor's supervision!
I agree with you...I hate people too. I'm so ready to give up retail after I worked this weekend! Saturday, I had a customer rant at me for a good ...oh...20 minutes, trying to haggle on the dispensing fee. I told him he could talk to the owners...but NOOOO...would be too logical. I was fed up with him, after he told me he'd been here 6 times! 6 fucking times in 3 years! Oh yeah..you deserve a discount for sure on your damn Cialis. I swear...I don't drink, but that would make start.
Today... I had someone chew me out for putting them on hold for 5 minutes! Is it my fault I was running the store all on my own! You're gonna complain to the owners...please do!
I am so ready to quit dealing with people!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Expressway
so next time he calls, you can waste 10 minutes of HIS time regaling him with useless facts about the Lawrence Expressway
You are a wonderful writer and I am so happy that I found your blog. I've recently had to spend a bit more time hanging out at the pharmacy counter because of a cancer diagnosis and a broken vertebrae. (Big cancerous tumor that crushed up my L2 & L3 vertebrae....won't be going skiing any time soon). I am glad I will be able to understand why the pharmacy folks always look a bit pissed. Thanks for sharing and you seem like a caring person despite all of your run-ins with the middle class narcotic addicts.
You're not kidding about the generic directions. As proof, follow the following steps:
1) Go to Google Maps.
2) Search "pharmacy" near "Lawrence Expressway."
3) Open a new window.
4) In the new window, search "McDonald's" near "Lawrence Expressway."
5) Put the windows next to each other. Notice a pattern???
No wonder the US has a health crisis. You can get your prescription with a side of a Big Mac and fries.
HAHAHA! That's frickin' funny as hell.
And sadly, I think i know exactly where that corpo-pharmacy in SJ is...
I work at CVS.
Yes.
And I shit you not, I got THE call..
"CVS Pharmacy, this is Sara technician.. how may I heeelpppp youuu?"
"Yeah, do you have Walmart Pharmacy's number??"
"Um.. no.. sorry.. call 411."
"Do you guys sell Equate aspirin, the baby aspirin?"
"No .. that is a Walmart brand."
Answered the phone the other day- after the person navigated the extremely annoying automated system...
"What's the name of the motel across the street?"
"I don't know"
"Could you look?"
"Not from the drive-thru window"
"Well could you run outside real quick?"
"No. (long silence) Are you calling about a prescription?"
"This is awful customer service click."
Lol, that's hilarious!
But, seriously, I can't believe how rude people are to you. I would NEVER DREAM of being rude to my pharmacist (or the techs). A pharmacist is like a doctor to me. They are health care professionals. That just infers automatic respect.
I've had bad intractable migraines for a year now, so I'm constantly in the pharmacy filling this prescription or that prescription. They've been really kind to me by answering all my side effect/interaction questions, looking to see if there's any preventatives they think I haven't tried, starting to keep meds in stock they normally have to order so that it's there to fill when I come in, etc. They know my name now and have my meds ready before I even get up to the counter. I hope my pharmacists don't hate me because I really love them! I feel like I should be adding them to my Christmas card list this year...
HAHAHAHA!
Why don't you transfer to R&D Pharmacology or Professor of Pharmacy?
You made me want to go to class today. Thanks. :]
Walgreens = Fail.
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