First, the bad news. Recent studies have spotlighted an alarming trend among teens who intentionally consume large amounts of cough medicine containing the ingredient dextromethorphan (DXM). The Partnership for a Drug-Free America reports that one in 10, or 2.4 million, young people report having abused DXM-containing medications to get high.The good news: The Consumer Healthcare Products Association (CHPA) is collaborating with the Partnership and other organizations to launch educational initiatives to combat this disturbing trend.
Wow. That is good news. An educational initiative is exactly what we need to deal with this problem. Who can forget the way educational initiatives made marijuana use but a distant memory?
In June, the Senate passed S. Res. 225, a resolution designating August 2007 as "National Medicine Abuse Awareness Month." Introduced by Sen. Joseph Biden Jr., (D, Del.), the resolution encourages parents to educate themselves and to talk to their teens about the dangers associated with medicine abuse.Great. National Medicine Abuse Awareness Month. Sigh. How about National Lame-O awareness month? Let me point out here that Senator Biden is currently running for president. Now call me a bit cranky, but I would like to think people running for president would be worried about things like.....hmmm.....I dunno....terrorists?
"The only thing we have to fear is........the Robitussin in aisle 4"
"You don't seem to be taking this problem very seriously Drugmonkey" I can hear some of you saying, and you would be right. While doing a little poking around the internet I came across testimonials of dumbass kids who swear dextromethorphan took them on Timothy Leary like trips to altered consciousness and ultimate truth. I can tell you that there were times when I took as much dextromethorphan as some of these kids in a desperate attempt to stop hacking up a lung. You know what happened?
I continued to hack up a lung. The cold viruses that were in my body tied up the dextromethorphan, put one of those little red balls in its mouth and made the dextromethorphan their little bitch boy until my white blood cells could come to the rescue. It doesn't work, and I put any stupid kid who thinks it gets them high in the same league with the stupid hippies who swore in the 60's that Coca-Cola and aspirin would give you the ultimate out of body experience. If there wasn't a war going on back then maybe idiotic politicians would have legislated Bayer out of existence.
Wait. There's a war going on now. Wow, that makes Biden look even lamer.
Can chugging the dextromethorphan kill you? Sure. So can chugging water, so should I have to start carding everyone who wants to buy a bottle of Aquafina? Christ we are turning into a nation of wussies. I tell you what though, if Joe Biden really wants to stop teenagers from guzzling dextromethorphan, I'll tell you how he can do it in 30 seconds. Seeing a picture of Joe Biden is the key to understanding my plan:
"Hello children, I'm a cool United States Senator, and you know what's really far out? Popping the top off a bottle of cough syrup and getting jiggy with it. I'm totally down with trippin on the robo... you know what I'm sayin? If you think you can hang with me and my U.S. Senate G's then get yourself some today. I recommend the cherry flavor"
Then he could smile and try to give a gang sign. Except it would really be like an "OK" symbol over his left nipple. One public service announcement stops this cough syrup thing in its tracks.
Stick with the weed kids.
7 comments:
Count me in the group that won't be heartbroken if Dextromethorphan is gone. It doesn't do shit to coughs, and there's a good sized stack of studies that say this. Plus, people won't have to look like idiots for buying a combo product with a suppressant and expectorant (Why do you want to loosen the phlegm and then not cough?).
Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm in pharmacy school, and theres a few guys I go to school with that "robo trip." Idiots.
Dextromethorphan is like a Kennedy...misunderstood by the public yet useless and rich. Wow, I tied in politics and pharmacy; didn't think I had it in me. Keep up the good work, you are a man among boys. BTW, don't you love it when people "ask your opinion" on an OTC just to disagree with you? I can see we see eye to eye on such a topic - why did they ask in the first place? I hate people too. Out
Biden gas grown tremendously on me, especially since he supports community pharmacies... i'm willing to overlook this little mishap.
*wow* all this time I thought Robitussin just didn't work on me. I have heard of the "robo" but I thought people were just yanking my chain.
I knew people back in high school who said they've "Robo'd" to get high.
They even called it the "poor man's ecstasy".
Apparently, you don't just take an extra dose, or two, or even three. (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!) They claimed you were supposed to chug the entire bottle, a few minutes later you would then probably throw up, and then you reportedly get "high" and have body tingles and soft feelings of euphoria. Oh, and you get to smell like you just threw up, what a blast!
By the way, these are the same people that I'm pretty sure were also injecting heroin to get high, which has to be one of the scariest ways to feel good I've heard of. "Hey, I know you're all messed up on drugs and having a good time, but do you think you can help me stick this needle in my arm?"
I've also apparently known people stupid enough to put the little piece of LSD paper ON THEIR EYEBALLS, because they claimed they got more visual effects this way. The only drawback as they saw it was that you ended up with a perfect square of bloodshot (completely red) on your eyeball.
.....Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?
DXM: potentially bringing Olney's lesions to people who would never do Ketamine or PCP, everywhere.
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